Is that good or bad? Help pls!

[pcmaster]

What I mean is learn love hateable. See unseeable and feel nothing.

[RipVanWinkleX]

Yes I understand…The problem is we had sex twice and we met about 5 times in overall… and I've developed feelings for him.
And he was acting like he was so caring. He put a scarf on me, buttoned my coat up for me…. you know these little things that made me feel loved for a few seconds.
And I knew that he didn't want to date me…. Just sex.

You and every other other female friend I have. Do you only go out with guys who you think are hot? Do you ever lower your standerds in physcale attractions? Because if you are going for major hottie guys, then they know they can get away with it.

[RipVanWinkleX]

This is too deep and philosophical for me to grasp the meaning of what you wrote...

Love yourself first.

Tell us. Who are you? How would you describe yourself.

[Lilia]

What I mean is learn love hateable. See unseeable and feel nothing.

What? 0_o??
Sorry but I don't understand the meaning of it! It was confusing before but now it sounds like one word contradicts another and I don't get what you mean!

[Lilia]

You and every other other female friend I have. Do you only go out with guys who you think are hot? Do you ever lower your standerds in physcale attractions? Because if you are going for major hottie guys, then they know they can get away with it.

Yes, only with hot guys…I think I deserve a hot guy. But I am not looking for 6 pack abs but he might have to have a charming smile, spark in his eyes, confidence, also good manners and active social life. It is complex.
I don't want to lower my standards and I want beautiful kids if I ever decide to have them.
And that guy has a special personality. My intuition tells me that he would never yell, he would never call a girl names. He is ALWAYS very calm and relaxed.
He is soft spoken and he has a gentle heart. He is a bit quiet and shy also. He is total opposite of my ex! And I don't want tough guys in my life anymore….And that guy has zero level of male aggression. It makes him very good boyfriend material…

[Lilia]

Love yourself first.

Tell us. Who are you? How would you describe yourself.

But I love myself. It is impossible to describe myself cos I can be very different. I am whatever I feel at a present moment. Like water that flows along the surface and finds the easiest ways to get through…it just flows.
I don't want to be defined or labeled. I just want to live right now, right here. Without analyzing myself. I just wanna be happy.
May be that answer describes me pretty well.

[RipVanWinkleX]

But I love myself. It is impossible to describe myself cos I can be very different. I am whatever I feel at a present moment. Like water that flows along the surface and finds the easiest ways to get through…it just flows.
I don't want to be defined or labeled. I just want to live right now, right here. Without analyzing myself. I just wanna be happy.
May be that answer describes me pretty well.

hm... I am whatever I feel like at a present moment. But I am also a slave to my emotions. Bi-polar with no medication to help even myself out and a past where my heart always ache.

If you don't want to lower your standards, the don't. If you believe you are worth it. Then you are right to never lower those standards. Hot guys are human and will always have something that you will not like. And most of those hot guys just want sex because they can get away with it; just like a woman who can get away with things by looks alone. We can't give you all the answers on who you are dating or want to date. But always have open communications.

Even if this guy does not end up being the one you want. I hope you do find the guy you deserve. Never give up. At least you get some sort of connection with guys, be happy.

[Lilia]

hm... I am whatever I feel like at a present moment. But I am also a slave to my emotions. Bi-polar with no medication to help even myself out and a past where my heart always ache.
If you don't want to lower your standards, the don't. If you believe you are worth it. Then you are right to never lower those standards. Hot guys are human and will always have something that you will not like. And most of those hot guys just want sex because they can get away with it; just like a woman who can get away with things by looks alone. We can't give you all the answers on who you are dating or want to date. But always have open communications.
Even if this guy does not end up being the one you want. I hope you do find the guy you deserve. Never give up. At least you get some sort of connection with guys, be happy.

RipVanWinkleX, thank you for your kind advice! I am sorry to hear about your past….Mine wasn't smooth either and I think I have a BPD.
"I am a slave of my emotions" - it sounds like me.

[pcmaster]

Strange but I think its very easy to understand. RipVan seems to understand the loving yourself part.

What I mean is most hurt brings the people that are close to your heart, because you might have no defense against those who you love when unexpected happens. Imagine stranger call you a bitch on a street - you wont care much. But what if the same says someone whos love you value the most.

And loving others more than you love yourself wont bring as much love back. For example when parents love their kids their love is selfless and it will be there no matter what. Love that comes easy and cheap is sometimes hard to see.
And how high you value yourself is how others will see you. Basicaly what you think about youself is what others thinks about you. Its easy to make people fell in love with you when you fell in love with yourself. Its like you are showing the relationship frame.

What you think of yourself is what reflects in other people. And learn to feel nothing is like learn not to love. Sometimes less is more. Like being naturaly cool can draw people even closer to you.

[Lilia]

Strange but I think its very easy to understand. RipVan seems to understand the loving yourself part.

What I mean is most hurt brings the people that are close to your heart, because you might have no defense against those who you love when unexpected happens. Imagine stranger call you a bitch on a street - you wont care much. But what if the same says someone whos love you value the most.

And loving others more than you love yourself wont bring as much love back. For example when parents love their kids their love is selfless and it will be there no matter what. Love that comes easy and cheap is sometimes hard to see.
And how high you value yourself is how others will see you. Basicaly what you think about youself is what others thinks about you. Its easy to make people fell in love with you when you fell in love with yourself. Its like you are showing the relationship frame.

What you think of yourself is what reflects in other people. And learn to feel nothing is like learn not to love. Sometimes less is more. Like being naturaly cool can draw people even closer to you.

but I am telling you I absolutely love love love myself! Fully and unconditionally. And I value myself high. also accept all my flows. And I love my flows too.
How does that apply to my situation?
What you wrote is just "words, words, words" It is theoretical stuff…not based on much experience. How long did your longest relationship last?

And nobody has called me a bitch. Nor a stranger nor a close person. Love never comes easy and cheap. True love comes unconditionally. I guess that's what you meant.

All I asked in the topic was "Is it good when a guy comes fast"?
And you are writing paragraphs about "love".

[pcmaster]

Good that you love yourself it just seems strange that you desribe yourself as person who lives for one day(which is recipe for disaster) while wanting a guy with active social life( what is good for emotional health) while saying about yourself that you might have BPD.

And I mentioned love because this is loveforum.

Replying to your topic about "coming fast" It might be true that guy is not sleeping with other girls cause being lauzy in bed can be sign of emotional attachement(that explains feeling embarased afterwards like hes not good enought for you). What sucks for you cause sex gona become even more lame and boring since theres love involved. Best you can do is comfort him, lift him up emotionaly.

If guy would love himself enought he would realise that he came right in time because he was fcking like he want to come. Perhaps he met girls who find that as turnoff and disapointment when guy finishes so fast so thats where from this complex.

I think this "cumming on top of girl" thing comes form porn where its done by profesionals who also comes too fast sometimes and scenes are edited so it looks like they can last for long. Like said before by some smart guy - life is more dificult than porn.

[RipVanWinkleX]

To go back to "if a guy cums fast" I don't see much of a issue. To me, I would feel like crap if I do because I would want to help my partner in gaining orgaism. But it doesn't really matter. As long as you both are enjoying the sex.

[pcmaster]

Yeah in the end that just what it is - guy came faster. No need to read into it or ask stupid question" if its good or bad". You are having sex and you decide its good or bad.

[Wakeup]

So can you please tell me, does it mean that he likes me more than other girls?

Ugh. Why would you let a guy thats not exclusive with you cum inside of you, not wear a rubber?

He wanted to cum on my body ... but he came inside me unexpectadly and he looked embarrassed.

You're foolish and irresponsible with your own body. Grow the fk up.

[Wakeup]

So can you please tell me, does it mean that he likes me more than other girls?

No it means this is how he explains to ALL girls why he cums before them ... Pffft.