boyfriend of almost 5 years..proposing?!!!:)

[Forevermine25]

Ok my boyfriend and I are 25, been together 5 years February 2014. From day one pretty much he said 3 years for any jewelry and 5 years at least for engagement. I moved in 2 1/2 years in our relationship and that christmas he gave me a gorgeous diamond necklace. He was always on and off about marriage and would always say "never getting married" when family would ask..so one day couple years ago i broke down and asked why he is so on and off and he said "i Just say that to my family and also to throw you off so your not expecting it, we will get married". Also every christmas he would joke about having me a ring. Then our 3rd anniversary finally some positive comments he told me 2 more years if all goes well we will be engaged .i got excited and he said relax..anything can happen in two years.

In beginning of 2013 when we found our friend was engaged..this is when he started talking way more about us getting married and having kids. I asked him when he thinks it will happen? he said "not this year but soon, I am not telling you anymore"..couple weeks ago marriage came up and i asked if he really wants to get married one day..he said he is fine with not getting married but is ok with it too, it is just a ring/paper but if i really want it..it will happen. I then told him not to propose only because i want it. left it at that.

Now Just before christmas though my bf and his family started talking more about us getting married. which is odd they never really done that. Example: His sister came over and asked what my bf got me..i said "idk there is a small box under the tree"..his sister says "maybe he is going to propose!"..im like "uhh nooo"..she says "yeah i know nothing but brian said you want a 2000 dollar wedding?"..i say "huh? well yeah.cheaper better.."then boyfriend walks in "what you talking about?"(he never does that)..i said "um apparently you told your sister i want a cheap wedding?"...he just sat down didn't say anything, didn't deny anything...then his sister and i started talking about our wedding and he kinda joined in with us.which is.first ever! he usually says "haha not happening"...also this same day he told me that we will be married 27-28..our engagement will be 2 years max. and i said "well i would perfer 6 months -year..we could do city hall thing"...boyfriend says "naw...but year minimum".

Now Christmas day came no ring but everyone thinks it will be either my birthday coming up or our anniversary because christmas day TWICE he said when everyone asked if i got what i wanted he says "she never got everything she wanted yet!"...everyone like "what you mean?"...boyfriend says "a ring"..smiles and winks..and i just shake my head and say "w.e..i didn't ask for that"..he says"true but you want it". i ignore him..i know he knows i want it we talked before and he saw my pinterest lol he has been saying "not yet!"alot lately like its going to happen soon.

Ps. Oh he did tease me alittle before christmas about proposing christmas day and i got mad and said "please stop with teasing thought we were done with that, only wanna hear about it when you actually do because every other year you get hopes up to high for nothing..not that i don't appreciate the gifts but if your giving hope anyone would feel the same!"...boyfriend says "relax..doesn't have to be christmas day!"hugs/kisses me. He also played with my rings recently.



What do you think? soon?

[Forevermine25]

I know a ring/marriage is not everything. its about the little things thats true love...like how he has been there for me in my ups and downs..takes care of me and how i do same for him. love is seen through gestures..not jewlery, yes its suppose to be a simble but at same time its not everything. I admit i was letting everyone get to me and made me super anxious for last few years...but i realized finally to just enjoy our relationship..our time will come..to ignore everyone that judges us and at least i know when he proposes it will be real not forced like some girls do at same time Just exciting knowing that he is possibly thinking about moving to next step!

[Forevermine25]

one last thing i forgot! Other day he said guyfriends want to do a guy thing in January...but he said "sure as long as its not on my gf's birthday"...so i said "since when was my birthday a big deal?"...because he really never made a big big deal about it..last year i bought dinner with my gift card i got..he didn't even get me a cake..the year before he did but last year nothing...which is fine im at the point in my life i feel old and don't really care but just found it odd.

[HeartIsAching]

Oh lordy. He doesn't really care one way or the other - I felt the same way for a long time so I can relate. It's just permission from the government to cohabit.

BUT - It's important to you, so you should tell him so. Clear communications get you what you want.

[basilandthyme]

This whole thing of a girl waiting around for when a guy deems himself ready to propose just does my head in. Hon, if you want to know what's going on, then talk about it with him.

[michelle23]

I think you need to stop talking about it. Your placing way too much importance on it. You know marriage is more than just a day out right? So he should want it just as much as you do. Otherwise its a waste of time and money

btw sounds like hes playing games. I would tell him to STFU about it unless hes down on one knee. All this BS, hints, winks and empty promises has got to be head recking!

[DalM0m]

I had a feeling before DH proposed but I was trying soooo hard not to think about it, lest it didn't happen & I got disappointed. Tread lightly.

[searock]

Why the heck are you ok with him keeping you hanging on a thread with empty promises and winks and whatnot? You are adults, you should talk about your future together, instead of you letting him decide for the both of you.

If you want to get married, tell him that you want to get married. Ask him if he wants the same thing and if he doesn't, then you should consider breaking up since your plans and dreams for the future are incompatible.

I can't believe you're ok with all the silly mind games!

[Forevermine25]

every time i confront him he says we are on same page but at same time he is ok with not getting married..doesn't change how much he loves me ..a ring is just a ring..and when he is ready he is ready no one will pressure him into proposing. Im not only one hinting around, this year he keeps talking about it and sounding more positive when people talk about our wedding and joins in this time..before he use to turn red when someone bought up marriage and say "hah yeah right"...this is first year he gave me an idea when he thinking of proposing! .

tonight i said to him im his wife/gf and he didn't deny it.

I will give him to march and see if anything happens, if not I will talk to him more and see what he says. My parents think its happening very soon because way he is acting. I know they only know as much as me because my bf will not tell my family anything..he knows they can't keep a secret..but they did notice a change and think it going to happen before 2015!

what u think?

[HeartIsAching]

I think that YOU need to tell HIM that you want to get married. Clearly and without ambiguity.

[Forevermine25]

I have told him that..i told him i would like to get married 26-27..at first he would say "haha naw ten more years" *winks* and im like "come on! seriously" and then from then on he has been say 27..28 we will be married.

Couple weeks ago i said to my boyfriend while his sister was over i want to be married 3-4 years before kids and boyfriend says "um no married a year before kids and it will be at least 27-28 before we married"1-2 year engagement.

[michelle23]

If you shut up about it and act like your not too bothered then he may propose coz he really wants to marry you and not bcoz you have been putting pressure on him for 5 years.. and he may hurry up and do it a lot sooner too if he thinks your not expecting it. Stop going on about it, stop playing along when he mentions it-just let it go and see what happens.

Do you live together? If no, then I suggest you do that first for a year or two before committing to something MAJOR like marriage

[Forevermine25]

Its hard not to comment when he brings it up:/ and yes i know he wants to propose when im not expecting it. Yes we have been living together for 2 years and 2 months now and we love living together

[HeartIsAching]

Oh good god... one of my exes used to say to me "you never buy me flowers"... and it was always precisely when I was looking at a flower shop and thinking about buying her flowers. She never got that she was ruining her own chance at getting flowers. I never wanted to buy her flowers when she felt that it was because she'd just told me she wanted them... where's the romance in that?!

I wanted to buy them and give them to her because I wanted to.

Tell him what you want (It sounds like you have) and leave it alone.

[dickriculous]

Oh good god... one of my exes used to say to me "you never buy me flowers"... and it was always precisely when I was looking at a flower shop and thinking about buying her flowers. She never got that she was ruining her own chance at getting flowers. I never wanted to buy her flowers when she felt that it was because she'd just told me she wanted them... where's the romance in that?!

I wanted to buy them and give them to her because I wanted to.

Tell him what you want (It sounds like you have) and leave it alone.

I think I'm going to give "you never have your period and turn into a psycho" a try with my gf right before her next cycle.