Hi everyone. I'm a normal, healthy male in his 30s. I'm straight as an arrow and physically attracted to women. Have been all my life. I think they are aesthesically pleasing and perfect in every way.
But I have a problem. I can't stand them. I know that this may just sound typical or bitter, but with me it has gone far beyond that. I am finished with them. I'm to the point that I cannot even hardly bear to hear a woman speak about anything. In fact, it's actually to the point that when a woman even says anything to me, I feel like vomiting. Literally.
I think that the women I have seen in my culture and life experience have been nothing but poison to me all my life. I have never even once had a good lasting relationship with a woman. I've tried to really receive counseling and see if it is something I'm doing. I've finally figured it out after all these years. I'm a nice guy. That's the problem. I'm also moral. I'm logical and honest. And I find that none of those qualities are very appealing to women that I find physically attractive. It never ends. And I'm tired. I am worn out. I am exhausted with trying to find a spouse or even a woman I can tolerate for more than 2 weeks. It's just not going to happen. I and women of today's society just don't live in the same universe. We are completely incompatible in world view. We may be sexually compatable, but that really doesn't ever amount to much as I simply cannot stand any of them. I believe that most are ammoral trolips. And I am physically attracted to them, but not spiritually or mentally attracted to them at all. In fact, when it comes to those qualities, I absolutely, in my being despise their very existance. Truly and wholly. I hate everything they do, everything they say, everything they represent and everything they don't represent in the world today. I find absolutely no use or value in a female at all except for a temporary aesthetic that is in itself meaningless, yet pleasnat. Other than that, I have no the slightest use or desire for them. I find them actually less than useless when it comes to any social and friendship value. I have no need for them or desire for them. I can cook. I can clean. I can keep my home in order. I can work. I can be happy. And I can do all of that free from a female human who is only going to give me years of grief and heartache. I do not accept them the way they are. I will not and cannot accept them the way they are. That would be lowering myself and injuring myself. And I never find my actual counterpart. I no longer even believe she exists. I honestly see female humans as alien beings at this point, with whom I have not the slightest thing in common. They are like backdrops and phantasms that aren't even real. Sirens, shades, delusions, smoke and mirrors. Utter vanity and emptiness.
The situation is never going to change because it is universal. I simply have taken a stand. I will no longer take any sh*t at all from any female human ever again as long as I live. I'm prepared to accept being alone. The issue that I have is that I also want to get rid of useless sexual feelings of arousel that remind me of these useless, career worshipping, insidious, insatiable, immoral, wretched gold digging social leaches that I loathe to the core with every fiber of my being. I want to be castrated and just end it. I just want all the pain to stop and go away. I want it to be over so that I can get on with my work and be and do something useful. I want to be a Eunich and be happy again. And I want no b*tch or even thought of a b*tch getting in the way. I know that many will simply give the usual answer of it being my problem. I do not accept that. I will not accept that. And the reason is that the vast majority of women today have been brainwashed by socialist propaganda nearly their entire lives in a calculated engineered method to produce the very results that I am experiencing. Women are not a heaven to me, they are a living hell. And since I cannot commit mass genocide to rid myself of their plague on me, I choose to simply cut off my balls to rid myself of any physical feeling for them. It's simply the next logical step as I already have no emotional feeling left for them. I both blaim women and will continue to blaim them. Because it is in fact their fault. And I for one am not going to accept giving even one of them another cop out. I'm done with playing women's game. Done.
I have no idea where to start. I would appreciate some real advise from anyone who has knowledge on this subject and how I can seek medical services to be clinically castrated and end these years of misery and frustration. Thank you.