He'll be gone for a week...

[basilandthyme]

Well fishing is a way different vacation, than a tropical one where drinking and clubbing are on the addenda. To add this isn't the only thing that isn't sitting right in this relationship.

I've asked the OP where he's going and have yet to find an answer. Or perhaps I missed it... Do you know that it's a clubbing holiday, or is this just an example?

[smackie9]

I have a suspicion that it is and that's why she's upset about him not wanting to contact her. If it was him going out into the bush hunting or visiting the grandparents I doubt she would complain.

[HDBadger]

Well fishing is a way different vacation, than a tropical one where drinking and clubbing are on the addenda. To add this isn't the only thing that isn't sitting right in this relationship.

Totally agree with you about the phone thing not being the only thing that's wrong.

I will say, though, that, even if he's going to Cancun for a week to drink and go clubbing, she either trusts him or she doesn't.

*That* seems like the real problem. I'm sensing a lack of trust. My gfs never cared what I did when I was away because I was faithful and committed. They knew I'd never do anything. And I never did.

I think the phone thing is just a symptom of a larger problem.

[smackie9]

No there is this thing called boundaries that makes sure behavior is appropriate to a relationship. Jetting off at the last min to go with your single buddies to a drunkin vacation out clubbing isn't appropriate. I can see if this was a planned vacation from before they met and he had an obligation...then it would have been put on the table when they started to see each other...but this is something that he had a choice to say no to. He's not that invested in this relationship is the telling sign here and she feels it.

[anastasis]

Men hate talking on the phone. They really do. It's just always yap, yap, yap about nothing. He wants to get away and he doesn't want any yap yap killin the scene for him. He's out for peace and relaxation far away where there are no phones and no yap. Just nature and calm.

I had a girl friend who used to call me every night at 12AM because she couldn't sleep. One time I just got so sick of it that I told her never to again call me when I'm having my beauty rest. I said, Look, you just don't get it, do you? I'm trying to sleep here, ok? It's the middle of the night. Would you just take a pill, already? I think she understood that I needed space and quiet time. Unless somebody has a reason to be on the phone besides small talk and yap, I have no interest. I'd probably turn off the phone too. Or lose it in the river.

When it comes to men on the phone, less really is more. Like one text every other day would be more than enough for me.

That's why I'm no good at relationships based upon current social expectations. I hate useless jibber jabber on the phone. If you want to put me to sleep really quick, just call me and start talking about nothing. It's as stimulating as someone status updating what soup they're having for lunch on fakebook.

[Eddie Vedder]

From another guy's perspective, I would say he is seeing another woman. It's a classic tactic to switch the phone off because the last thing he needs when he's with his other girlfriend is text messages or worst, phone calls from you in front of her. So when he has to leave his girlfriend on his trip away to buy milk so to speak, he disappears for an hour, calls you and pretends he's having this amazing alone time, finding himself, Hello!!! He's a guy on his own on a holiday with his phone off. Think about it, his brain will be going crazy as he gets horny, and he will be texting girls or better, hoping they text him to boost his ego, what guy turns their phone off, guys want to feel in control and have their ego boosted by girls chasing them. I'm telling you he is with someone else, plain and simple. He's not telling you in case it doesn't work out, then he has you so he's not single and he has told her for the exact same reason.

Play hard to get. DO NOT text him, women can't resist this urge to text. It's a game, so don't text because he will notice and start to panic and he will start to chase you. Then when he does tell him you are busy, avoid seeing him, but still be nice, pay him compliments, stroke his ego, but do not see him and watch what happens. Eventually see him, have sex or whatever, but then again say your busy, can't see you, going out witha friend etc and watch the relationship turn in your favour


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[michelle23]

So just stay with a cheat? Idiot! Dont play these games OP. Your worth more. Dump him

[HowdyHar]

He's supposedly with his parents... I've suspected it's another girl but if it was, he does seem to contact me a lot. There are still other things that bother me. No I don't trust him, but I have trouble trusting. Some things just don't make sense though. Do people stick around just based on curiosity sometimes, lol... Like, what is it that's wrong here, because if I figured it out maybe I could recognize it in another relationship. I know there is something not right about it I just don't know exactly what. Him acting sketchy doesn't tell me why he is acting that way. I suspect when the week is over I'll know.

[HowdyHar]

I would think if he hadn't acted sketchy in the past I wouldn't have a problem with this... But it was a combination of things that make me suspicious and not trusting. I purposely hadn't mentioned all the details because I just wanted answers to this particular instance. I feel like I've provided enough personal info heh :/ thanks.

[hatesthis]

With his parents on vacation or at their home? Why couldn't you have went with him too since for the holidays. You work it all out now? You always feeling he is lying to you will drive you crazy trying to constantly get at the truth, is better not to be with someone you cannot trust, imo.

[HowdyHar]

Well... I tried to break up with him but he wouldn't give me a time and place we could meet and exchange the stuff we have of each others. He has something of mine that's pretty expensive and said he'd fix it for me (it wasn't working right) but he's held onto it for a while. Instead of giving me a time and place he insisted he can't leave me alone and misses me... but... I dunno I feel like he's toying with me. He's said he doesn't want to deal with me acting "crazy" when he doesn't call me or whatever when school comes up, I was like fine, I'm not staying with someone that wants zero conflict and wants me to bottle up feelings and act like nothing is wrong. But I act "crazy" because he says something that hurt my feelings and then poofs over text! >.>; hmmph.

I want my stuff back, I still like him, I think, but he's acting like a jerk.

[HowdyHar]

So uh, he's married. He came up with the gone for a week thing as an excuse so I wouldn't bother him as much. Excuse me while I go hurl.

[michelle23]

I would tell his wife. F**king a**hole! See this is why you should never do long distance!

[smackie9]

I'm not one to condone exposing the affair to the wife but I would make an exception this time because you didn't know. I say ya find out who she is, tell her so she can burn this guy at the stake.

[Wakeup]

So uh, he's married. He came up with the gone for a week thing as an excuse so I wouldn't bother him as much. Excuse me while I go hurl.

Can you tell us how you found this out now and didn't find it out before when he was first trying to get with you? Your spidey sense has been ringing all through this four months with this man. What made you figure it all out? Tell the masses so that they don't ignore what they suspect but aren't acting on. Let them know how to discover the truth about a guy that goes away on prime holidays and says he won't be contacting you is really on about.