I need help with Girls.

[surfhb2]

I have no problem with kissing but should it not be kept for a relationship rather then going out to try and kiss as many girls as possible on a night out.

Save kissing for a relationship? Good God man.....you need help!

What's wrong with meeting a girl and giving her a kiss at a club or wherever ? You act like everyone is making out with multiple people all time.

[Silver]

Save kissing for a relationship? Good God man.....you need help!

What's wrong with meeting a girl and giving her a kiss at a club or wherever ? You act like everyone is making out with multiple people all time.

I see your point, thanks for replying.

[Silver]

Thanks to everyone for all the replies, much appreciated.

I was wondering if anyone has any advice on something. There is this girl I like but im a bit nervous to ask her out. I have known her for a long time but I've never really spoke to her. I only see her now and again and recently we haven't really spoke much (but some of that could be down to the fact that she is kinda shy) I like her because I know she is a lovely person.

Does anyone have any advice?

[surfhb2]

Go to her and ask her to coffee

You need to get over the nervousness somehow. Yeah it's going to suck but once you get the words out you'll be fine.....promise. !

[pcmaster]

Talk with 5 diferent people everyday and eventually you will be able to talk with everyone you want including this girl. Basicaly its like muscle in your mind. You socialize and it becomes stronger even in "dificult" situations like talking with a girl. You have to realise that everyone is human and everyone have dark side so no need to be shy or think that someone is better than you.(Mostly people will think excatly what you are thinking about yourself,so think good things)

Also if you think about this girl - you dont even know her so well. For example are you sure what colour her eyes are? A lot of stuff is just imagined in your head. Also shy girl is not the best pick for you cause since you can be shy sometimes and she is shy there wont be much progress in silence. Unless you meet girl you are okay talk without words. But this is rare and girl must realy like you.

Otherwise its realy fragile relationship where communication is the weak link.

What you want to do is go to that girl and talk to her like a friend. Just talk about what friends would. Dont have a goal to have a grilfriend because it will put huge pressure on you and you wont be relaxed until shes your GF(what will never happen if you dont become friendly with her first) When you are not focusing on recieving but want to give something its much easier to talk with people.

For example if you just simply say "Hi" to a girl when walking past(you can do it will all girls BTW even the ones you dont know). Also if you say to a girl that shes beautiful that can create tension if you stand there and wait how are shes gona react, cause she might be waiting what will follow next. Instead its easier just say it just because you want it and dont realy care about response dont think if she will like it or not.

Its much easier to talk with girl when you dont need anything from her.

[Silver]

Talk with 5 diferent people everyday and eventually you will be able to talk with everyone you want including this girl. Basicaly its like muscle in your mind. You socialize and it becomes stronger even in "dificult" situations like talking with a girl. You have to realise that everyone is human and everyone have dark side so no need to be shy or think that someone is better than you.(Mostly people will think excatly what you are thinking about yourself,so think good things)

Also if you think about this girl - you dont even know her so well. For example are you sure what colour her eyes are? A lot of stuff is just imagined in your head. Also shy girl is not the best pick for you cause since you can be shy sometimes and she is shy there wont be much progress in silence. Unless you meet girl you are okay talk without words. But this is rare and girl must realy like you.

Otherwise its realy fragile relationship where communication is the weak link.

What you want to do is go to that girl and talk to her like a friend. Just talk about what friends would. Dont have a goal to have a grilfriend because it will put huge pressure on you and you wont be relaxed until shes your GF(what will never happen if you dont become friendly with her first) When you are not focusing on recieving but want to give something its much easier to talk with people.

For example if you just simply say "Hi" to a girl when walking past(you can do it will all girls BTW even the ones you dont know). Also if you say to a girl that shes beautiful that can create tension if you stand there and wait how are shes gona react, cause she might be waiting what will follow next. Instead its easier just say it just because you want it and dont realy care about response dont think if she will like it or not.

Its much easier to talk with girl when you dont need anything from her.

Thanks, some good advice there.

[Silver]

Hi there, I thought I might give people an update. I went out with a few of my friends last night to some pubs and then a nightclub. I was quite optimistic beforehand about meeting new girls but by the end of the night I was somewhat discouraged. I do think that for a single guy who wants to meet girls but does not drink, a bar or nightclub is not the place to do it but my problem is, is that it seems to be the only place where I can meet girls. Any advice?

[Lord Darkshire]

You have to find a hobby or interest that required being with other people, like joining a co-ed sport or some activity like skiing. Hope that helps.

[pcmaster]

What you want to do is talk with them from begining. First girls are the hardest but after few positive reponses you would have enought caurage to aproach all the girls in the club. One beer before the club makes a huge diference too. Especialy because you dont drink. Its possible to have a courage naturaly without drinking but you will have to find things that makes you happy in life in order to be very happy without drinking. It will take time. Basicaly clubs are the easiest place for meeting girls. Cause they are there to be aproached and have fun. Thats why they use make-uo. Thats why those hot dresses. Its all for you.

In clubs people give themself permision to simply have fun and dont think. Once you have some fun with girls there its easy too get addicted from clubbing. Some people realy go there to dance and forget about everything. You can aproach girls anywhere you see them but they wont beg for attention grabbing eachothers breasts and showing naked ass like they do in nighclubs.

Sign up for dance classes if you want to dance in daytime.

[anastasis]

Hi there, I thought I might give people an update. I went out with a few of my friends last night to some pubs and then a nightclub. I was quite optimistic beforehand about meeting new girls but by the end of the night I was somewhat discouraged. I do think that for a single guy who wants to meet girls but does not drink, a bar or nightclub is not the place to do it but my problem is, is that it seems to be the only place where I can meet girls. Any advice?

Yes, I have some advice. Stop looking to meet women. You're spinning your wheels. Just go and do what you really want to do. If she's where you are, she may be your girl. If she's not, she wasn't worth it anyway. Stop looking for women. They can come look for you from now on. And if they get VDs and end up miserable and confused from players at the club they chose, who cares?

[Silver]

Thanks for all the replies. It is much appreciated. I do think that through hobbies would be the best way for me to meet girls but the problem is is that there is nothing like that in my town. In my town the only way to meet girls is in pubs and clubs. That is why I am trying my best to find the best way for me to meet girls in those places. Where I'm from, the aim of a night out seems to be to make out with girls and then never talk to them again. I just don't see that as right. I know that there are lots of girls who don't go out to do that but a lot of them girls are already in relationships. I just feel that there is a lot of pressure to just make out with a girl instead of getting to know her first.

Any thoughts?

[ameliapearl]

I feel like you should just get to know someone first... You seem like the one who has his head on straight, not everyone in your town. Look to talk and flirt first,an d you'll eventually find a girl who wants the same (and will therefore probably be better for you anyway!) Might take time, but keep trying to get to know more and more people. If you have to, even tell them that you'd rather get to know someone first before sticking your tongue down their throat. I feel like the girls you're looking for would be intrigued by that level of respect andthoughtfulness!

[Silver]

I feel like you should just get to know someone first... You seem like the one who has his head on straight, not everyone in your town. Look to talk and flirt first,an d you'll eventually find a girl who wants the same (and will therefore probably be better for you anyway!) Might take time, but keep trying to get to know more and more people. If you have to, even tell them that you'd rather get to know someone first before sticking your tongue down their throat. I feel like the girls you're looking for would be intrigued by that level of respect andthoughtfulness!

Thank you for your post. You have a good point. I do agree but how do you say you don't want to make out with a girl without hurting her feelings?

[smackie9]

Well then what you have left is on line dating.

[Silver]

Well then what you have left is on line dating.

I have no problem with going to clubs and meeting girls, it's only that I don't like making out with girls just because they feel like it, which is how it works sometimes. I think it should mean something.