Boyfriend keeps accusing me of cheating?

[pinkgirl1995]

My boyfriend keeps accusing me of cheating and I don't know what to do anymore.

We got together in July and he asked me out the day before I went to Zante with two of my girl friends and there was also another group of guys going at the same time who booked the same dates by coincidence it wasn't planned.

I got messages from his ex while I was away saying he'd been speaking to her saying he didn't trust me etc. but I spent the whole time missing him, and I was having fun with my friends but wasn't there looking for guys or flirting or anything.

Since I came back everything was fine for a while, I moved about an hour and a half away to uni in september, and about a month later he decided to get a job here and move here too.

That was cool for a while, but then when we went out with people in my uni flat he started accusing me of being interested in one of the guys here which i definitely wasn't.
That guy then started seeing a girl down here, and since then my boyfriend has started accusing me of being interested in a different guy here. There seems to be nothing I can say to make him realise I'm not?

The other day he was looking through my tagged pictures on Facebook and found the ones from Zante. There is one where some guy grabbed my leg and pulled it in the air and i grabbed another guy so I wouldn't fall. i didn't talk to them and left straight away soon as i got him off me, and to me you can see in the picture that I'm uncomfortable but he describes it as "you've got your legs wrapped round him with your fa**y against him" which it clearly isn't but he won't listen to me.

He says he spoke to the girls I was on holiday with and they said I went out looking for guys, I don't know if he's making it up or they actually said it, but I had fallen out with one of them about 2 months ago so I don't know if she told him that to annoy me or something, but it wasn't true.

I've found things like him messaging his ex quite a bit and another girl and when we were out on his work do he was dancing with one of the girls in quite a flirty way, but I didn't say anything.

Now he calls me a psycho says I've messed his life up by making him move here (I didn't force him to?) and I don't know what else to do.

I've tried telling him that if I had honestly cheated I would have admitted it by now, but I've said clearly I wont admit something I didn't do, but he just seems to ignore everything I say, and accuse me of dancing, grinding with guys, looking like i'm interested (in pictures) in one of the guys we knew out there when I never was and it seems to be a dead end. I don't want to break up with him but what else can I say? If he doesn't trust me or believe me it won't work but it doesn't look like he's going to do that?

Any advice at all is welcome,
Thanks :)

[HeartIsAching]

You're being emotionally abused sweetie:

http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/02/20/signs-of-emotional-abuse/

It's due to his extreme insecurity. My advice... walk the **** away.

[HeartIsAching]

http://thestir.cafemom.com/love_sex/138933/15_signs_youre_in_an

[Rowen]

Yes, you ARE being emotionally abused. My advice is to get out NOW!

OP, you don't need him if he's going to do that to you. No matter how amazing he may make you feel sometimes, he's hurting you and will only get worse with age. This will have a direct result on your confidence, lowering you even more than you are now... RUN! Remember that you deserve so much more from a relationship than he can give you.

Please do yourself a favor and walk away, just as HIA said.

[pcmaster]

This guy have too much emotional bagage. Whatever previous girls did to him hes blaming it on you now. Because you let it, because you took it. He might blame you but be much worse himself. Hes not ready for relationship before he deals with his own deamons like paranoja.

Anyway dont take what you dont deserve. Sooner or later thoughts do materialise and you would end up cheating or being worse person because of this guy.

A good boyfriend will see good things in you that even you dont notice from begining. When you with a person thats good for you, your confidence goes up.

Strong people dont put others down. They lift them up'

[michelle23]

Yes I fully agree this IS emotional abuse and I also think everything he is accusing you of-he has done. He doesn't trust you coz he doesn't trust himself. Dump him now

[maryinlf]

Very sad, he should not do that.

[Wakeup]

Usually when someone is constantly accusing you of cheating it often means they themselves are and they are projecting their own shitty behaviour onto you.

I'd ask him who he's doing.

[smackie9]

I dated a guy like this once, it turned in real abuse....get out now!

[HeartIsAching]

I dated a guy like this once, it turned in real abuse....get out now!

This, right here.

[smackie9]

Before you know it he is going to tell you to stop going out with your friends because they are a bad influence on you, and that you can't be talking to any guys, and if he finds out he will accuse you of have sex with them, he will forbid you to go out shopping or go out for a coffee, question your every move, freak out on guys that even look at you, he will tell you, that you don't love him....I can go on and on.

[DalM0m]

I had a BF who constantly accused me of cheating. It was annoying.

Finally I said to him, I'm not cheating but if you bring it up one more time, I'm breaking up with you to go date all these guy you are accusing me of being with because that sounds like way more fun then hanging out & getting yelled at for stuff I didn't do. He stopped.

[dickriculous]

Yet another "been there done that" case checking in (seems a lot of us have been falsely accused of cheating). I've written about this chick a few times before, the emotionally disturbed one that I tried to be a hero for. If your situation is anything like mine - and it looks that way because this guy sounds even more emotionally retarded than my ex was - then this is a byproduct of much, much bigger problems within your bf. He is a lost cause every which way and he will destroy your soul if you don't get the **** away from him.


PS: He has most likely cheated, based on my intuition of what I know of these situations