I feel like I was rushed.

[missmayhem]

I've been with the same man for four years now. We're engaged now. Recently, I started to think that maybe we rushed things and have started to think about if this is what I really want.

We started dating after knowing each other less than a week. Slept together less than a week. Now, this was a surprise to me as I was always quiet and shy (still am) and didn't even get any attention from guys. I thought of myself as slutty for the longest because of it even though that was the first time I'd ever done anything like that. Regardless, we had a lot of problems when we first started dating (most involving other females). Within six months he had moved in (not on purpose, it just kind of happened). By 8 months he had decided to give me a promise ring for Christmas. Mind you, within two weeks he was telling me he loved me (it took me quite some time to say it back). By the next Christmas we were engaged.

I'm starting to feel like we rushed stuff way too fast. I mean at the time we started dating I was young (17 then, 21 now) and had just gotten out of an abusive relationship a few months prior. I love him I really and truly do but am I wrong to think that maybe we need to slow down a bit? I mean we have people constantly asking us when we're going to get married and pop out some babies. (nowhere in the near future mind you).

I can't be the only one who has ever felt like this. I know that if I talk to him about it he'll say something like "You're cheating on me!" or ask what he did wrong. It's nothing that he did I just feel like we rushed into stuff because we were young.

I just really needed to get that out of my system! Thanks for listening.

[smackie9]

If he is prone to manipulate you by saying such things would lead me to conclude you are again in a relationship with a controlling abusive man. You don't have to be beaten or yelled at to be in an abusive relationship....mental abuse is just as bad. You don't feel right because you were never allowed to even have an opinion, or speak your mind.

Your relationship will not last for the long haul if you can't communicate your feelings to him. Stand up to him, and tell him he is being childish for throwing accusations at you...that game doesn't work anymore.....he needs to listen to you.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

You don't accidentally move in together. Are you gonna call the babies you pop out "accidents" too?

If he says, you cheated on him, just dump him right then, and watch him beg like a little bitch. He probably won't let you live it down though. Just break up with him, and when he tries to guilt trip you, crush him.