why do i need constance reassurance?

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Like we talked about yesterday. Start focusing on yourself. Instead of doing stuff for him all the time, then expecting grand gestures in return, spend some of that energy treating yourself. He may notice, he may not, but you will be improving, and you will start feeling better. He will probably want to be more involved once he sees you are working at bettering yourself and putting these other things aside.

[howsie2228]

I understand. Sorry i have been a pain in every ones ass.....

i suppose im just really upset...... that i never realised it was all me.....

[BackUpOrGetStng]

In all likelihood, it isn't ALL you. There are probably some simple things he could have done that may have reassured you more. It just sounds like you won't take his word and that is probably hurtful. No one likes to feel like that constantly. This particular problem is on you. I doubt this is the only problem.

[howsie2228]

this is the only problem.... what else could there be...?

[BackUpOrGetStng]

I guess you're right. It is just one really major problem from what you've described. Why do you need to talk about the relationship so much? Why do you want him to think of you 24/7?

[howsie2228]

i dont know i have never been like this before......


All i can think bout where the prob is from my past ..... being drilled to the ground etc,.....

Feels t hat im not worthy of anything good...... thats all i can think of and i second guess myself all the time......

[Rowen]

well ppl keep on replying so .............. like yourself....

Rowen...: how are you trying to work on it?

Yes, but I see a lot of the posts are from you...

I'm trying to work on it by going to a therapist...as I mentioned in my first post on here. I sit in his office every week and talk for 45 minutes about my problems and what's going on in my life (and my love life). And he leaves me with some words to think about over and over whenever I feel insecure and sometimes gives me questions to think about and answer when I come back.