What to tell my parents

[hoperom15]

Hey everybody!!! Here's my story... I recently met my perfect guy online. Yes he's real and not fake or a creeper. I've videochatted with him.. Snap chatted etc... We have fallen for eachother . Ironically he lives only about 25-30 mins away from me . I'm 16 and he's 17. Only problem is that my parents are very strict. I had a past where I got in trouble for talking to online guys .. And my parents would NEVER allow the idea of this guy if they knew how I met him.. I would be in big trouble . As bad as it sounds i wouldn't mind doing a little white lie to them about how we met simply because I don't want some little detail like that to keep me apart from my dream guy.. I have to meet him in person somehow and come up with a story/plan to tell my parents. I was thinking maybe some school sporting event or something idk. We are close enough but 25-30 mins is still enough to possibly get them suspicious. What could my plan be? Help please , thank you

[Rowen]

Not to sound patronizing, but you remind me of how I was at your age... Except, I was going for a guy that was 23 and lived two hours away from home. And all it did was cause me heartache, despite the fact that guy seemed to be my "dream guy."

That being said, my advice is this: Wait till you're older (at least 18) to meet guys online. Because, by then, you'll have your own means of transportation and will be able to handle yourself (I hope...) in terms of being able to spot the liars and the emotional parasites from the actual good people... I know I sound like a drag, but I say this to spare you a lot of potential hurt you can face which could lead you to wind up like me with trust and insecurity issues you try to work through every week with your therapist...

In short, the right guy will come around. And if this is meant to be, the guy will have no problem coming to your house to meet your parents before taking you out on a date. If not, then there's just someone much, much better for you out there, and you shouldn't stop believing that you'll find it.
Hope this helps a little.

[oxytocinbite]

I don't try to tell people lying is okay but I met my bf, well all of mine online and I lied to my mother so many times about it. She was sheltering and I never got out to meet anyone so I really did not want her to take away my only means of socializing. I am now living with my bf that I met over xbox and things are great.

I think it's fine to tell her you met him somewhere but make sure he meets her before he picks you up. You are old enough in my opinion to know if some guy is a major creeper, but be safe about it and have him meet your parents before you spend alone time together.

Out of the men I dated online, I have only met one in person and I was always safe about it. He only lives half an hour away though, I say go for it.

[smackie9]

Your lie isn't damaging, so you just go ahead and make something up.

I can see it being troublesome if he was way older, or some dude that just got out of jail, or married etc.....but I feel this one is pretty harmless....hell I did waaaaaaaay worse when I was your age. Me and a couple of GFs would go hitch hiking with a case of beer in hand. Hah them were the days before the internet lol.

[hoperom15]

Thanks so much for your help! I feel like you totally understand where I'm coming from. Since he is 30 mins away it's still significant enough where I have to come up with something good ... Any good ideas?

[hoperom15]

Thank you thanks for understanding. Do you have any good ideas on how to go about it?

[hoperom15]

Right but since he's 30 mins away .. How could I say I met him and get my parents to be ok with us texting and hanging out?

[Rowen]

Right but since he's 30 mins away .. How could I say I met him and get my parents to be ok with us texting and hanging out?

You're very persistent...especially due to the fact I received this PM in my inbox:



...I'm smelling a troll, guys. Either that, or whatever warnings about being careful just go in one ear and out the other.

[TheEvilJester]

Well, for the sake of trying to help, I will assume this is a legitimate question and not a troll. I would agree with the others that, in this day and age, it is not such a big people to meet people in real life that you know online. However, you just have to be very careful about it. One of the first things to do is to verify, however you can, if they seem to actually be who they claim. You have done that already.

The other very important step is to be very careful in first meeting them in person. Before you ever agree to do anything alone, be sure you get together many times in public places, and/or with groups of friends. I know that sounds like something your parents would say, but you really do never know. Honestly, you'd probably be fine, but why risk it? Much better to be safe than sorry.

I don't know how I feel about lying to your parents. Though, I will say, so long as you are smart enough to be careful about it, this does seem to be a lie of the "little" and "white" variety. Parents can sometimes be over-protective. In this day and age, parents shouldn't be so hard on their kids for wanting to meet online friends. It is just a reality of the world we live in these days. What they should be doing is talking to their kids about how to do it responsibly, safely, and carefully. So, I can't necessarily offer you advice on what to say to your parents. However, I do offer you my best wishes and wish you good luck.

[DalM0m]

You are 16 years old & have gotten in trouble talking to guys on line before. You don't have enough life experience to make safe decisions yet. Sorry. You just don't.

Don't lie to your parents. They are trying to keep you safe. You don't know who's out there. They have your best interests at heart.

Tell them you met him on line. Offer to let them read transcripts of your communications. Offer to have this boy come to your house to meet them & spend time with them..

Yes it's dorky. Yes it will be awkward & uncool. But if the guy is a good guy, for the privilege of spending time with you, he'll do it.

[AnErin]

The girl feels in love. Somehow I doubt telling her stuff about "Your parents have your best interest in mind" is going to make her say, "yeah I should forget it and just wait until some future time to think about dating".
She didn't ask if her parents would approve. She didn't ask if she should wait til she is older. Yes we all know we should not lie to our parents. That is why we are 100% honest with the folks, especially at that age. Yeah right.
People lie. Some people bullshit their way through their entire lives. Cradle to grave.
What she wants to know is - how would she explain meeting this guy.

Well if you must do this - Just think back to any sporting events, skating parties, any party etc. With sporting events, well school football teams travel to other areas. You know your school and parents better than us. What would sound feasible? Are they gonna ask a lot of questions? Prepare some answers.
In the unlikely chance that your parents actually keep up with who played who at something like homecoming then you will have to fine tune your story.

I think it is a little strange that your parents would still be sticking their noses in your business. You are 16, he is 17, it is NOT like you are meeting some 21 year old frat boy.

I know much love will be thrown my way for this response and for the record - yes I have a kid who is 17. I am not going to pretend that he is always honest or doesn't do things based on "my parents would not approve. I damn sure didn't live my teen years based on what mommy and daddy approved of and I doubt most of us did.