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Thread: Should I spend Christmas with his family?

  1. #1
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    Should I spend Christmas with his family?

    I have been dating one of my good friends for just over 2 months, and he invited me to spend Christmas with his family.
    They go camping every year for a week over christmas with some aunties and cousins and stuff.
    He said that I 'should come for a bit'... as in like a few days. But it's quite far away and I can't really get there any other way except with him.
    So then he said 'you can come for the whole time if you want, but don't you want to spend christmas day with your family'...

    I honestly don't really care about spending christmas day with my family... I didn't spend christmas with my family last year and I find the whole day quite tedious and boring. I would like to see my mum but I can see her before or after.

    He is a lot closer with his family than I am with mine and so I don't think he really understands that. I'm not sure if him saying 'come the whole time if you want' is him saying he doesn't want that or just because he thinks i would want to spend christmas with my family.

    So I'm not sure if he actually wants me to come for the whole week, or he only wants me to come for a couple of days. But I can't come for a couple of days so it's one or the other.

    I'm quite nervous about the idea too. I would love to get to know his family and it makes me feel really special that he invited me.
    But I've never had a serious boyfriend or done anything like this and I don't know if it would be weird. It would be the second time I have met his parents and the first time I've met the rest of his family. I spent 2 nights at his parents house when we were going away with some friends and they were really nice but it was a little nerve wracking. And I wouldn't want to feel like a ring in on christmas. And it would be awkward if I didn't get anyone presents but I would have no idea what to get for people... and the same for others with me.

    I'm not sure if I should go or not... I want to... but I'm nervous and I don't know if he would want me there for the whole week.
    Last edited by KateMc; 09-12-13 at 06:52 PM.

  2. #2
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    What is the question?
    "All is fair in love and war." - Francis Edward Smedley

  3. #3
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    No one can really make this decision for u. I see pros and cons of going and not going. I would wait til the time gets a little closer and see how u feel about it

  4. #4
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    You should only go if you feel comfortable. Tell him youll meet his parrents at new years eve, cause you need to bee with your grandma this year with christmass.
    He cant hate that can he?

  5. #5
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    Maybe you should take your time and get to know his family little by little. You've only been together for two months and there still is plenty of time to have big family reunions that last a week, especially if you feel that you depend on him to get there and can't leave without him when you'd like to. His invitation sounds polite, maybe a bit vague and you sound unsure. Why don't you decide for a special dinner together, before or after Christmas, when you could give your personal gifts to each other without this kind of doubts and nerves you have?

  6. #6
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    My feeling about going on family vacations is to not go until you are officially family. Dating for 2 months does not make you family. Going over Christmas seems even more intrusive to me. If nothing else where would you sleep? His parents might not be thrilled with you two sharing a sleeping bag. Abandoning your own family over the holidays will most likely stir up drama you aren't even aware of yet.

    If you can get out to the camp site to visit him & his family for a few hours, fine. I wouldn't go on the trip this year. It's too soon for me.

  7. #7
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    Why do girls feel the need to over analysis everything? Just go and have fun

  8. #8
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    Not everything a guy asks is connected to feelings and relationships. Sometimes it's just having a bit of genuine fun. If you're over analysing things even before you go then imagine what it's gonna be like spending the whole week with his family. Just relax breath and enjoy the moment.

    Sent from my GT-I9100 using Tapatalk

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    I would only go if I could leave in 1-2 days. Staying the whole week is a bit much, you haven't known him for that long (or his family). Spend it with your mother or whoever and just see him when he gets back.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by TablesandChairs View Post
    I would only go if I could leave in 1-2 days. Staying the whole week is a bit much, you haven't known him for that long (or his family). Spend it with your mother or whoever and just see him when he gets back.
    Why is it too much if she wants to go and really likes the guy?

  11. #11
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    Spending a whole week together (add to that the family) can be a bit much when she's only known the guy for 2 weeks. Don't you think?

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    Quote Originally Posted by TablesandChairs View Post
    Spending a whole week together (add to that the family) can be a bit much when she's only known the guy for 2 weeks. Don't you think?
    Not at all.....it's just a simple camping trip with no hidden meanings or agendas. I'm just curious why women freak over things like this?

    Btw....it's 2 months, not 2 weeks
    Last edited by surfhb2; 11-12-13 at 12:31 AM.

  13. #13
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    2 months, yes.

    It's not the situation as such - it's that once she's there, she can't leave (as she says). A week is a long time if you're feeling uncomfortable. If she had her own transport, no issues but this is kind of like getting stuck somewhere for 7 days.

  14. #14
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    You mean like outdoor camping or do they have a cabin (with utilities and beds) somewhere? Find out the specifics. You probably don't want to rough it nor sleep on some back breaking couch.

    Well here is the thing - If you go and hate it, it is only one week. You can brush that off even if it turns out to be boring or awkward. I think if you pass it up though, you will look back and wish you had gone.

    For presents - No one is going to expect you to bring anything. "Why didn't Kate give presents?" will NOT be the talk of the town. Of course your B/F might expect something but that is easy if you know what he likes.

    I say if living arrangements are gonna be comfy, pack your bags and have a good time.

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