Not Sure What To Do With This Girl (Long, Please Read)

[LukeBoy1994]

Is it a date though? And should I ask her out when we go? Because if I left it late before I don't want to almost mess up again, or kiss her?

[violet11]

If it makes you feel any better, through my 20's I went on plenty of "is-this-a-date-Dates" with guys I knew. It is a date, but because you are friends / know each other, you can pretend that it was just a meet up as friends if it doesnt work out. That's how things have gone in my experience. If I didnt like the guy I would make out like we'd just been meeting up as friends, to try and help them save face.

In your situation, try not to get too stressed out about this. Look at it as a chance to get to know an attractive woman better. Look at it as the first time you're bringing a hot girl to the cinema! It's exciting. You're entering the world of dating Lots and lots more dates in store for you - all learning experiences.

[LukeBoy1994]

If it makes you feel any better, through my 20's I went on plenty of "is-this-a-date-Dates" with guys I knew. It is a date, but because you are friends / know each other, you can pretend that it was just a meet up as friends if it doesnt work out. That's how things have gone in my experience. If I didnt like the guy I would make out like we'd just been meeting up as friends, to try and help them save face.

In your situation, try not to get too stressed out about this. Look at it as a chance to get to know an attractive woman better. Look at it as the first time you're bringing a hot girl to the cinema! It's exciting. You're entering the world of dating Lots and lots more dates in store for you - all learning experiences.

Yeah, I guess it is a date because it's not like we're friends because from the first time I spoke to her we were flirting and stuff, I see us more as people who are gradually getting towards dating. Hopefully it goes well, I don't want to mess up through nerves, although I'm fine when we are in college, so face to face shouldn't be a problem.

What sort of questions should I ask her? or topics to talk about? I know a fair bit about her as when we first texted we asked about sisters/brothers, how many we have and relationships. And do I go on another date with her or ask her out? My mum said I shouldn't ask her out first but should I kiss?

[violet11]

Just flirt with her and see how it goes. Talk about your interests and ask her about hers.

You don't need to "ask her out" - that's high school stuff. Gage if she wants to kiss you. Subtly check if she's looking into your eyes for prolonged periods of time, if she's touching you, or if she's moving closer to you. Those subtle body cues are a better indication than how the conversation is flowing.

[michelle23]

Of course its a date. Thats your intention-to make her your girlfriend so you have to make that clear to her. Treating this like a date makes your intentions clear and by holding her hand your showing her you dont just want to be her friend. If shes no comfortable with you holding her hand she will make that obvious so youll no not to kiss her. If shes comfortable with that then it is ok to give her a kiss after

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[LukeBoy1994]

Okay, will she know its a date though? And yeah, as I've just moved house I can ask her questions about this area, when i'm in a place I don't know I can mention that as it's something to talk about and for a laugh, as I went to chip shop once and she was like don't get lost and stuff.

Well, she always touches me in college, before I even had her number she came up to me and poked me in the side of the chest, and that started the conversation of me getting her number and done that last week too, if I see her looking into my eyes i'll go for it but I've never kissed a girl before, should I watch some videos on how to do it lol?!

And with holding her hand, do I just take her hand and walk and hold it? What if she pulls away, isn't that a sign of not wanting to? I doubt she will but i'll be a little scared to do that tbh, and when is the best time to kiss like after? Because we both will be getting the bus so i'll wait with her for hers but if mine comes first, when is a good time? I'm excited but nervous lol, because if it goes well i'll have my first girlfriend but if it goes wrong, well. I'm screwed.

[violet11]

Firstly, kissing her will not make her your girlfriend. It takes about three dates before you can even say you're seeing someone, and the person doesnt become your gf or bf straight away.

Re. the kissing: dont go too hot and heavy. Just go for kissing lips - it's easy Watch videos if it makes you feel better.

Bus stop is as good a place as any for a first kiss

[michelle23]

Yes she will no its a date and ya either just take her hand walking down the street casually or in the cinema. She wont shrug it off. Poking you in the chest is how girls flirt.. as well as pinching, hitting, pushing etc.. for some reason we enjoy hurting you i dont no y...

Anyway just calm down and go with the flow. It will be fine

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[LukeBoy1994]

Well that's the thing with the dates, I don't want to long it out too long or is it because in 3 weeks i didn't arrange nothing so that's why she got annoyed before. And yeah, i'll watch some videos so I don't mess up and yeah, will be the bus stop (how romantic!)

Well, she pokes me, and liked touched my arms and wiped stuff on it, but she not done any of the other stuff she has scratched this other boy in our college course made his arms all red, and they grab each other and that, i'm not confident enough to do that, so I think she has a flirty personality. But although it seems like she flirts with him but I doubt she likes him because he's ugly (not being rude lol) plus she was like great I got to work with him, **** him and that lol.

this isn't really relevant now but I just want a girls view on it, basically she went cinema with her friend originally I thought she ditched me but obviously I didn't make it clear we would go, but we talk on BBM and I was in her name and she took me out, my friend asked her and she was like because we don't talk (it was only like 4 days) and because we are not together not getting together and he said I thought you liked him, because he was like it's obvious she does and obviously he saw the text when she called me gorgeous but she was like yeah he's a nice guy but not relationship wise" I Honestly think she was just saying that as did my friend, but I want your opinions, did she actually mean that? If she did then why she going cinema with me? but if she didn't why did she say that? was it too hide the fact she liked me because she didn't think I liked her or what? I'm curious...

[michelle23]

I dont no tbh.. you asked her out 5days in advance and then didnt talk to her for 5 days.. we expect a few texts etc everyday in between. Maybe thats all she meant. You just have to see how it goes saturday stop worrying about it. Talk to her 2m and ask her does she wana hang out at lunch and then when shes leaving just say "looking forward to seeing you 2m night" if you dont get to talk to her 2m at college send her a text 2m night saying your looking forward to the date

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[LukeBoy1994]

I dont no tbh.. you asked her out 5days in advance and then didnt talk to her for 5 days.. we expect a few texts etc everyday in between. Maybe thats all she meant. You just have to see how it goes saturday stop worrying about it. Talk to her 2m and ask her does she wana hang out at lunch and then when shes leaving just say "looking forward to seeing you 2m night" if you dont get to talk to her 2m at college send her a text 2m night saying your looking forward to the date

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We were meant to go Saturday 2 weeks ago but she had to go out with her dad so we were going to go Friday but she was ill all week so I was like will go a different day she was like Thursday or Friday I was like okay, and then on the Monday i said you going cinema this week and she said I dunno are you, i said not on my own with you aint I and she said she would let me know, but didn't.... and then went with her friend so that's why I felt lied to, in the past now, but I think that's understandable why I didn't text her for a couple days.

And we always talk in college except Monday as she walked straight past me as if she was upset with me lool, but will talk outside the class and inside and when it's a break will go outside with the rest of the people we hang with and at the end i'll say i'll text her.

But obviously it don't matter but was I right, to feel lied to before?

[michelle23]

Ya she should have been more straight with you. You wont know for sure whether shes into you or not till sat. You just have to see how that goes

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[LukeBoy1994]

Ya she should have been more straight with you. You wont know for sure whether shes into you or not till sat. You just have to see how that goes

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Yeah that's why I felt lied too but if its our job to check I should of been more excertive

I think she does like me she said I'm gorgeous and always flirts with me like earlier today we were texting until 2 and she was flirting saying my college work sucks as a joke, plus all my friends say its obvious and the girls I'm friends with said the same things but Saturday will let me know -
100% because she will kiss me or not

[violet11]

you need to stop trying to figure things out. People say and do things they don't mean all the time when it comes to dating... People lead others on, and they also pretend they don't like people when they do. She could have meant what she said, or it could have been out of defensiveness. Seriously, you wont know til you try to take her hand on Saturday. If I was you I would make some good physical contact before getting into the cinema - get the flirty vibe going

[LukeBoy1994]

you need to stop trying to figure things out. People say and do things they don't mean all the time when it comes to dating... People lead others on, and they also pretend they don't like people when they do. She could have meant what she said, or it could have been out of defensiveness. Seriously, you wont know til you try to take her hand on Saturday. If I was you I would make some good physical contact before getting into the cinema - get the flirty vibe going

Oh, i'm not I know she likes me, she admitted she think i'm good looking and is always flirting with me everyone says it's obvious she only said that to my friend because she was upset I didn't text her (I assume) because even he said she was just saying that, but anyways even if she meant it, i'll make sure she does want one when I take her hand on Saturday