Am I crazy? or is this normal? How a girl treats a man she loves.

[bluegate14]

My partner and I have been together for 18 months. I thought she was the one and we are engaged.

4 weeks ago, what started as only a bicker, ended up in her storming off and not coming home. This is the third time she has done this. When we talk about problems, she either shuts off, doesn't talk or runs. Is that normal for a girl to do? This means issues never get resolved, yet she says I never listen, but she never talks or tries to talk calmly when she does.

So on this instance, I dropped a bag round to her mums 4 nights later and said we should call it a day as you clearly don't love me and shouldn't treat me like this. Proper couples I feel talk and don't run from one another all the time. Also there hasn't been much affection in our relationship or instigation by her, which when I ask her about it, she won't talk, yet in the past 12-14 months it was amazing. I know she 100% isn't cheating on me.

After dropping the bag off, I have had threats from brothers on me and my family. We have dogs and I asked her to wait until I get home from being out and I will give the to her and she got her brother to basically talk to me like crap and threaten me to get them. So I left my day out and gave them back, as I was being intimidated. One I can't believe she got her brothers involved and two I can't believe she let them speak to me like that.

If a girl loves her man? Does she really treat them like this? both running and getting threats from family, and ignoring me?

We are over now, after 2 weeks of not seeing each other, she sent a text saying you are right and we should call it a day, but now she is still playing mind games ignoring me an but I can't help but miss her and for some reason still love her in strange way, but I keep thinking to myself how can I after all this. I find her very selfish, but I also know her family is very controlling. There is a very emotional tie to her mum, as she is alone and separated and feel a lot of pressure from her. Her mum has always wanted her to stay at home in my opinion and dictates a lot of her life to her. We are in our late twenties and if we go away for one night break away, her mum as cried and will even still tuck her into bed. Is this normal?

[michelle23]

No this isnt normal. Shes a spoilt brat who never learned the word "no" or how to communicate coz shes so used to getting her own way. Running home after an argument is not an adult way to resolve conflict. If my bf did this to me once i would dump him. Storming outa the house like an overgrown teenager is unacceptable! I wouldnt put up with this.

And the intimidation etc is out of order. Move on. Shes not worth it

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[bluegate14]

Thanks michelle for the first view. It is ok getting friends views, which I won't share as might persuade peoples views, but it is good to hear your view, as I need to kick my brain fully into gear. She has been very spoilt in life and has had everything she has always wanted from family and even from me. She has never gone without the finer things in life and your right about not learning the word no, even when you don't even know her. You couldn't be more right.

[michelle23]

People who get everything handed to them on a plate never grow up. I know a few and they are the biggest drama queens you could meet. I wouldnt want that kinda crazy in my life..

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[TheEvilJester]

It definitely sounds like you are much better off without her. I was with somebody who was basically a gigantic adult child myself, and I will NEVER put up with that again. First off, getting somebody else to fight your battles (something my ex liked to often do as well) shows absolutely no maturity, and proves you are nothing but a coward. Not to mention, people like her always tell their own fictional version of the story to make sure they look like the innocent angel who is not to blame in the least bit. I also learned that one from my dealings with my ex.

I will also say this... I personally have a very low tolerance for bullies. So, I will have to restrain myself from commenting about her brothers who should mind their own G' Damn business. Otherwise, I'd have quite a few of my own colorful and wonderfully evil suggestions for how to deal with pieces of human excrement like that. So, best I just bite my tongue.

I know it can be hard to see at times, but you need to take some time, step back, and really think about how your life would be with somebody like that. You certainly have to come to your own conclusions and make your own decisions, but my personal advice would be to break up with her and never look back. Just be glad you are finding this all out while you are engaged and not after you get married. I know from experience that some people wait until things are all nice and legal before they reveal the horrible person they truly have been all along.

[bluegate14]

Thanks and think your right also. Open to more opinions if anyone has any

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Have sex with another girl, then tell her about it.

[basilandthyme]

There's one thing I need to know before I cast judgement on her: What does the bickering look like? Do you ever swear at her or say that she's stupid etc?

[pcmaster]

Shes not enought mature enought to be in serious relationship. Looks like you been together with spoiled kid. You could find more mature 20 year olds than her. Bet she still things she did nothing wrong since all the emotional support she got from family. Exactly thats why this breakup might be harder for you not her.

[bluegate14]

It was mainly over me apparently not seeing her family enough and not making effort with her mum when saw her Saturday before. I was tired and drained from work and I have seen her members of her family at least 2-3 times of the week every week. She also has a mum night in her own once a week. She ran off saying she isn't happy living with me and that was reason I got above. She asked me do u seriously think done nothing wrong and I said no and she said right in not coming home. When she told me this, I was in a shop getting a photo done of her and we dad for his bday, so hardly make little effort. I asked we nicely few hours to later after time passed a bit and thought be calmer and said I will listen to her and hear what she thinks I've done wrong. She said no and in coming to get the dogs and going for a while. I didn't give her dogs as they are ours and I do everything for them dogs and paid for them. Then I got all the rubbish from her brother threatening me to give dogs back weekend after, when its me who gets up everything morning, me walks them every day and mostly feeds them. She just gives the affection. Also I am a man that does more than most men round house. I clean at least 3-4hours a week, but its never enough and she is obsessed with cleaning and her mum is too. Our house is spotless but she says I never do enough, yet everyone around us can notice how nice house is as how much I do, even her own friends

[bluegate14]

You make some fair and right points and your right, she doesn't think she had done wrong. She even thinks her brothers actions are justifiable and I haven't even had a sorry from her, even when we met one day and was nice to eachother, she still thought it was right.

[bluegate14]

It's now been 4 weeks since this started, over 3 weeks since last saw each other and two weeks since officially calling a day, in which case was a text by her and we were meant to meet to talk. We have a house to sort and she is still ignoring me. It just all seems so petty and childish. She said can't meet as she needs time to adjust and I have taken this all better than her. Only reason I am coping and accepting it, is because the signs are that she doesn't love me as I wouldn't have been treated like this, so how can I be with someone who doesn't love me and will treat me like this. This could happen every time for rest of my life.

[pcmaster]

Well this is case where emotional side takes over logical. She might feel like it was alright that moment and thats why dont see anything wrong there. Still she never got the shit she gave to you - you was just too mature for that. So she dont know how you feel. If you treated her the same way it would be over much sooner. Best you can do is leave and hook up with other girl - this will make her freak out. Sucsess is best revenge.

BTW I bet shes fat cause of the character you described made me think that I dealt before with this type of girls.

[Lord Darkshire]

There isn't much to say except she is very immature. She has poor communication skills, and is dumber than a sack of hammers. You did alright by dumping her.

[MrsDarcy]

It doesn't sound normal to me. She has to learn to communicate with you, especially if she is planning to spend the rest of her life with you. Trust and respect are essential in a relationship, and it appears to me that she doesn't trust you enough to talk about your issues and doesn't respect you the way she should around her family. I don't think the relationship is lost, but I think you guys need to talk and solve these issues before getting married. If you can't...I don't think you should get married. Sorry to hear you're going through this.