Does showing a girl less attention get her more interested in me?

[3mK]

I started dating this girl at work. We went out on two successful dates but the third one she cancelled on me because she pulled something at work and was in pain.
Now I feel like I should take a step back and stop showing her as much attention as I have been just to get her thinking about me and wanting me more. I also want to do this so it doesn't look like I am constantly trying to make plans with her every week. I feel like this could help out whatever it is we have, and if she really is interested in me this might get her to approach me more. And I wrong in thinking this? Advice please?

[Ugly_Swan]

How old are you? lol

She just had an injury and you're gonna ignore her?

Anyways, it depends. What counts as "successful" dates?

She might start wondering why you're not asking her out, etc. and get her ego a little hurt, in which case she might start approaching you more to figure out what happened, yes. But if she is a stoic kinda girl with strong boundaries she may just keep her distance (instead of rewarding your indifference). Also, it depends again on how the dates went, what the context is, etc.

You should also consider the long-term effect. While it is likely that she will start thinking about you more, etc. What will happen once you do finally ask her out? Will she be hurt that you stopped talking to her and say no? These are just possibilities, I don't know how likely they are because there's little context given in the OP.

[Lord Darkshire]

I agree you can't always be the one to make plans.....but don't completely cut her off the attention. Maybe suggest that she come up with something to go do and leave it. Ya the push and pull meathod is sucessful but you have to do it right. Look it up on youtube for some tips.

[3mK]

Well we work together and when I do see her at work I will still be my usual self. I just want to take a step back and not bring up the subject of another date for a week or two.
We have an upcoming work Christmas party coming up in two weeks and I already said to myself that I'd approach her after the party and invite her over for a couple drinks/hang out.

She has a very busy life considering she is going to school and working at our shop part time. I, too, am quite busy but my schedule can be manipulated to make time for seeing her. I just don't want to over do it and seem like a little more of a mystery instead of an open book.

[DalM0m]

You are playing games. They are probably going to backfire on you.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

DalMom is right. Stop playing and start being for real. Start actually pursuing other girls. If this one comes around, figure out what you feel like doing then. I agree don't cut off all attention, but don't be the one to initiate everything either.

[michelle23]

Playing games will get you nowhere. Shell see through it like a pane of glass and dump you.

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[3mK]

In all honesty I want to ask this girl out again. Like ask her tomorrow at work for a date this weekend. If I shouldn't play games, should I just it?
And considering how she cancelled on me because of getting injured at work should I work that into my proposal like "So I know you got hurt and had to cancel, shall we reschedule for this Saturday night?" Something like that?

[hatesthis]

No, because if she realizes you are doing it as a part of game playing she'll think Pfft what a jerk.

[michelle23]

Id say "hey are you feeling better after your accident" if she says yes ask her out-if she says no, ask her to get takeaway and a movie at her place..

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[3mK]

Id say "hey are you feeling better after your accident" if she says yes ask her out-if she says no, ask her to get takeaway and a movie at her place..

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Thanks. That's what I will do.


I don't want to play games with this girl. I want to actively date this girl because I see potential. We get along extremely well. During our first two dates we have made out for a decent amount of time but I've been a gentlemen and have not tried anything else. I want her to be comfortable with me.

[michelle23]

Thats good. In future if your worried about something just say it example "are we okay, i feel like theres been some distance, are you having doubts"

Dont try to read her mind or make assumptions. Communication is key to a healthy relationship

Good luck

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[DalM0m]

Inquiring about her health would be a good opener. If you have a way to get it to her, send her a get well card.

[3mK]

Yea... what was I thinking with this bull?

The extent of me "ignoring" her was me showing up to work and not saying hi to her. After one minute she made a comment about how she was jealous I had Tim Horton's coffee (we're Canadian) and 10 minutes later, when she was changing to go home, I inquired about her injury and told her we're going out on a date. Boom! Done. Date three this Saturday night. woo.

[Rowen]

Honestly, if you haven't been giving her space, I'd give her some. Even if she doesn't come to you, I'm more than sure that she'll appreciate it. But don't go more than one day without talking. If you follow that, it'll allow her to realize you respect her space.

As for making her think about you more and all, it's a bit passive aggressive to my liking... Just take it as it comes and give her respect and space. Because that, my friend, will make her want you more if she likes you already.

Respect and space.