Not Sure What To Do With This Girl (Long, Please Read)

[LukeBoy1994]

So, there is this girl who I speak to in college and via text, my friend knew her so I started talking to her through him and one day in college she came up to me and touched me, we rarely spoke before then what was strange we then spoke for a while and she said I should go out with her sometime I got her number and we spoke for like 3 weeks non stop via text always flirting, she told me I was a lovely boy and gorgeous and I told her I felt the same way. We flirted a lot in college and everyone I know was like, "When are you getting together?" Although I really wanted to get with her I only knew her for a short while so I thought she would say no, because she was like she never has strong feelings for people, and she is a popular girl, she goes out with about 7 friends and goes clubbing, now to some people that's not a lot but I've not even had 7 friends, I've rarely had friends and never had a girlfriend, so it was a little daunting, but anyways we were going to go cinema together but she was not well all week so we arranged for another day I mention to her 5 days before if she still is going but she was like "I dunno, are you?" and she told me the day before she was ill so I was thinking to myself we won't be going, but instead she went with her friend and watched the same film we were going to watch, this angered me especially as she said she was ill but still went and so I ignored her and didn't message her then she messaged me after 3 days saying "You alright?" I replied and she messaged me back straight away but when I messaged her after she ignored it and didn't respond as the next day I messaged her about this new update on our phones and she replied to that :L So anyways, we had college and we normally always talk and flirt but we didn't talk at all she walked straight past me when I was outside with a friend, and blanked me. My friend asked her why we didn't talk and she said because I didn't talk to her, when she could of spoke to me though, and she told me I was gorgeous and that, and my friend mention to her but i thought you liked him and she said "he's a nice guy, not relationship wise" and she was like "We are not together and not going to either" But I think she wanted to go out with me because she flirted so bad and admitted I was gorgeous and you wouldn't think that if you didn't like someone, and so I'm not sure what to do, do I give up on her? I think she is good looking, but she went out without me and kinda lied, is popular and is blaming me for not talking when she could talk to me. Should I try and meet a new girl (I've only just moved house so she is the only girl I've met) or swallow my pride and try make it work between us, even though I don't think I should be the one to chase her considering I done nothing wrong, NOTE: I've never had a girlfriend before so I'm kinda confused on what to do.

[DalM0m]

You did do something wrong: you hurt her feelings. She thinks you stood her up. they day before you were to go to the cinema she said she wasn't feeling well. Instead of checking the day of, you assumed that she wouldn't be going so you didn't show. She went anyway, possibly dragging herself up to see you only to have you blow her off. Then you got pi$$ed at her.

Call her up. Do not text. Say you're sorry that you got your wires crossed & ask her to see a different movie with you. Don't freak out about dates, and labels & relationships. Sit in the dark, share a popcorn & enjoy. Work your way up to the next step from there.

BTW, fwiw, no where in here did I see her "kinda lie" to you.

[Ugly_Swan]

I understand why you feel hurt and feel like she kinda lied to you. I think it's a miscommunication. You asked her if you're still going so she replied "i dunno are you?" because you're the guy, it's your job to lead and decide if you wanna go out with her before she confirms.

You texted for THREE WEEKS without asking her out/pursuing her. I think eventually she just figured you're not interested in her enough, if you don't even wanna make an effort to actually hang out with her.

So I would say: man up, call her or come up to her, and apologize and ask her out. If she still rejects you, at least you won't have regrets.

The position of "even though I don't think I should be the one to chase her considering I done nothing wrong" is very unattractive. You're the guy...you're supposed to chase regardless!!!! It's your inactivity that made her decide you don't want her or that she doesn't want you, in the first place.

I understand you don't feel confident in yourself yet--maybe it's time to start practicing.

[LukeBoy1994]

You did do something wrong: you hurt her feelings. She thinks you stood her up. they day before you were to go to the cinema she said she wasn't feeling well. Instead of checking the day of, you assumed that she wouldn't be going so you didn't show. She went anyway, possibly dragging herself up to see you only to have you blow her off. Then you got pi$$ed at her.

Call her up. Do not text. Say you're sorry that you got your wires crossed & ask her to see a different movie with you. Don't freak out about dates, and labels & relationships. Sit in the dark, share a popcorn & enjoy. Work your way up to the next step from there.

BTW, fwiw, no where in here did I see her "kinda lie" to you.

I left this part out because it was a long post, but I did check it out I said to her if you're not feeling well we can do another day and she said okay, but I really want to go and I said so do I but wait until you're 100% and so that's why we arranged for the other day, and that's why she "Kinda lie"

She ignored me in college and said to my friend that we are not together nor going to be together and that i'm a nice guy but not relationship wise but she said I was gorgeous, could she just be saying that? Do I leave it and move on?

[DalM0m]

I think you probably blew it by waiting so ling to ask her out as ugly swan explained.

Yes, at this point just leave it.

[LukeBoy1994]

I understand why you feel hurt and feel like she kinda lied to you. I think it's a miscommunication. You asked her if you're still going so she replied "i dunno are you?" because you're the guy, it's your job to lead and decide if you wanna go out with her before she confirms.

You texted for THREE WEEKS without asking her out/pursuing her. I think eventually she just figured you're not interested in her enough, if you don't even wanna make an effort to actually hang out with her.

So I would say: man up, call her or come up to her, and apologize and ask her out. If she still rejects you, at least you won't have regrets.

The position of "even though I don't think I should be the one to chase her considering I done nothing wrong" is very unattractive. You're the guy...you're supposed to chase regardless!!!! It's your inactivity that made her decide you don't want her or that she doesn't want you, in the first place.

I understand you don't feel confident in yourself yet--maybe it's time to start practicing.

I didn't realise it our job to lead I'm not that confident before this girl the last time I got close to one was when I was 14, and i'm 19....

I did, I mention to her I liked her dropped hints like when she told me this boy is hitting on her and I said say you have a boyfriend and it's me, she asked me to go shopping with her and I said yes.

I didn't know we had to chase...

[LukeBoy1994]

What do I do? I don't know whether to just move on or not because I do have strong feelings for her as I've never had a girlfriend but at the same time deep down I don't think it would work as we are opposites, she smokes, I don't she goes out clubbing and getting drunk, I have never been clubbing does not appeal to me and I drink but not all the time, she does every week. I would try find another girl but I have not met any, so it's hard not sure what to do, I have not got the experience either...

[Ugly_Swan]

Then don't try and get her just for the sake of having a girl. If your values are so different, she might not even like you in the long-term.

Instead of clinging to this girl out of ego and wanting to get a confidence boost--work on actually feeling confident and systematically search for a girl that suits you.

[LukeBoy1994]

Then don't try and get her just for the sake of having a girl. If your values are so different, she might not even like you in the long-term.

Instead of clinging to this girl out of ego and wanting to get a confidence boost--work on actually feeling confident and systematically search for a girl that suits you.

It's not just for the sake of it, I want a girlfriend and I like her a lot, we have a lot in common as well so that's not even relevant was just suggestion and maybe, but we did get on well, I honestly thought it would work.

Ego? I don't have one, if I did I would of moved on when she went cinema without me, it's nothing to do with a confidents boost, if I had no confidents I wouldn't of spoken to her in the first place, I feel confident I was not when I was younger but I do now, and how can I find one that suits me without knowing what they are like?

[LukeBoy1994]

So, yesterday I spent time thinking do I want a relationship with this girl, I like her, I think she is good looking but was not sure if I wanted one, I realised the fact I think about her a lot must mean I like her so I texted her, and we spoke, she seemed fine with me, replying and I explained why I had not spoken to her and she was like don't worry I was wondering why you had not spoken to me, she was also like I tried messaging you but your phone was broken so it didn't work (my contract got took off so I couldn't text or ring), so I kinda got away with that, and she was basically like you should make facebook then to talk and was like, she is in college Friday with a giant face when i asked so I'll talk to her then, and I was joking around like you can do my work when we're in and she was like "no, you gotta do that yourself " normally she leaves kisses but one message I forgot to leave some and she didn't either but that's probably because of whats happened.

What do I do to not **** up again? Because I know she liked me because when she was like i'm gorgeous and was always flirty with me, and was like we don't speak much when we spoke for like 3 weeks in a row so I just think I upset her some how, what to do not to **** up again lol?

[michelle23]

You dragged it out for too long. Now shes confused and thinks your not that into her. You possibly just friendzoned yourself but you may be able to salvage it.

Text her and tell her you really like her and your sorry if you misread the signals. Ask her out again and dont leave it five days-thats too long! Ask her out for 2m night. Good luck

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[LukeBoy1994]

Only dragged it out for long because when I mentioned to her about not having a girlfriend she said not to rush into things, And why would I be friendzoned? if she thinks im good looking too?

I would but I would feel a little silly, do I just up and go for it? I've never had a girlfriend btw so I'm really unsure, or do I text her saying want to go out this weekend, and mention it to her then? And thanks I'm soo inexperienced!!!!

[michelle23]

You just gotta be assertive. Go after what you want. If a girl likes you she will know it within minutes of meeting you and you dont need to be her friend first for weeks or months. Thats the biggest mistake you can make. Girls like men who are not afraid to just ask. Obviously you shouldnt just ask some random girl that you no nothing about-i find that even weirder but after a couple of days it was blatantly obvious that she was into you..

Theres nothing wrong with being inexperienced btw-just dont allow it to hold you back. Be honest with her and ask her out

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[LukeBoy1994]

You just gotta be assertive. Go after what you want. If a girl likes you she will know it within minutes of meeting you and you dont need to be her friend first for weeks or months. Thats the biggest mistake you can make. Girls like men who are not afraid to just ask. Obviously you shouldnt just ask some random girl that you no nothing about-i find that even weirder but after a couple of days it was blatantly obvious that she was into you..

Theres nothing wrong with being inexperienced btw-just dont allow it to hold you back. Be honest with her and ask her out

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Right, I understand, I'm just so inexperienced and always think about last time I got close to a girl, I liked her a lot and she asked me out I said no because i was so shy.

Yeah, you're right she is into me everyone said it was obvious, I'm not going to **** this up!

Should I mention it to her now? or wait until tomorrow because we are both in college together

[michelle23]

Just tell her you misread what she meant when she said she was ill. You thought that meant she didnt want to see you and you no you screwed up. Tell her you really like her and you wana make it up to her and ask her out. Do it now

Youve nothing to lose

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