The looks scale, how do guys rate?

[BackUpOrGetStng]

I think you are way off Searock. Women CAN get by in life solely on their looks, but they are not expected to. If you want to be a cunt, and still have the red carpet rolled out for you, you can make that happen for yourself if you are hot enough. Now, that may still be frustrating to you, that men will allow better looking women to get away with more, but that is by no means society's way of saying all non-gorgeous women are worthless. I know plenty of busted broads with great jobs..how do you explain that?

[searock]

I think you are way off Searock. Women CAN get by in life solely on their looks, but they are not expected to. If you want to be a cunt, and still have the red carpet rolled out for you, you can make that happen for yourself if you are hot enough. Now, that may still be frustrating to you, that men will allow better looking women to get away with more, but that is by no means society's way of saying all non-gorgeous women are worthless. I know plenty of busted broads with great jobs..how do you explain that?

I am not talking about women "getting by in life". I am talking about the fact that in the media and in our mentality as a whole, the worthiness of women is based on their looks alone. Their looks are what define them.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

I am not talking about women "getting by in life". I am talking about the fact that in the media and in our mentality as a whole, the worthiness of women is based on their looks alone. Their looks are what define them.

That is complete bullshit. Looks define women who only have that going for them. A group of guys who sees a girl they don't know walking past only has her looks to go on, so that's what they talk about. The only worthiness being discussed is whether they'd bang her on spot without knowing her. Most men(and women) judge people they know on their actions. Rarely will someone dissociate themselves from another person(except romantically), solely based on looks. There are plenty of ugly, old women in the media as well. They typically aren't used in advertising, but they are tapped for positions based their merits.

[dickriculous]

I think where the disconnect /arguing comes from is this:

While men have a lot more to live up to, they can compensate for weaknesses with other areas. (ex. if you're not rich, you can be a badboy; if you're not hot you can be powerful, etc.) For women, on the other hand, beauty is a PREREQUISITE to even being noticed.

How can physical beauty be a prerequisite for women to be noticed when the vast majority of women who have earned a respectable living and found love, happiness, and fulfillment just fine fall well short of any such inflated beauty standard that is being spoken of ITT? It's an impossible paradox. Plenty of average looking and ugly women have these things going for them, how does that happen if the circumstances you describe are true?

[Ugly_Swan]

Ahhhh, but guys, you see...

This is a love forum so OBVIOUSLY we are not discussing looks' effects on earning a living etc--but rather its effect in romantic contexts!!

If a woman is ugly. she can only get a crappy guy. Yet if a guy is ugly...he can still get a good looking girl.

[Kromat83]

Ahhhh, but guys, you see...

This is a love forum so OBVIOUSLY we are not discussing looks' effects on
earning a living etc--but rather its effect in romantic contexts!!

If a woman is ugly. she can only get a crappy guy.
Yet if a guy is ugly...he can still get a good looking girl.

Not necessarily, it all depends on the individual.
A person's appearance can be changed (unless they have some
medical history, or just no motivation to do so)

The more you get to know the person, the greater the attraction grows.
Too many of us out there are shallow, that is why most of us are alone.

I was 50 pounds heavier, and still managed to get into a relationship,
and i was losing about 5-10 pounds each week, and she saw the progress.

I showed her my character and she started to like me more, and i
wasn't going to let my looks get in the way.

In most cases a persons looks is what attracts a person, and if they happen to gain weight,
they might just break up with them, which is just wrong.

I sometimes am happy to see a fit guy with an average to heavy set girl, because he
sees something in her, that most men do not, and appreciate that.

Only reason i'd like to date someone that is in some sort of reasonable shape, because
i would love to enjoy the outdoors / indoors, doing some physical activities, and some
extreme, being pretty adventurous and always something to do, and never agreeing on a suggestion.

[dickriculous]

If a woman is ugly. she can only get a crappy guy. Yet if a guy is ugly...he can still get a good looking girl.

So...every happily married/committed woman who's not particularly hot is a figment of my imagination then?

[BackUpOrGetStng]

What's my problem? There are several theories going at the moment.

Anyway, the question was not rhetorical. Give us a list of reasons someone should want to date you. What could you offer to someone in a relationship?

[searock]

That is complete bullshit. Looks define women who only have that going for them. A group of guys who sees a girl they don't know walking past only has her looks to go on, so that's what they talk about. The only worthiness being discussed is whether they'd bang her on spot without knowing her. Most men(and women) judge people they know on their actions. Rarely will someone dissociate themselves from another person(except romantically), solely based on looks. There are plenty of ugly, old women in the media as well. They typically aren't used in advertising, but they are tapped for positions based their merits.

I am specifically referring to what the media shows us and to mentality of society as a whole. The first thing that gets noticed about a woman we've just met (whether we're male or female) is her looks - not in the same way as a guy's looks get noticed. A woman is automatically an ensemble of sexual objects, while a man is primarily a human being. Here's an interesting read that can explain the concept much better than I ever could (at least in this language): http://cratesandribbons.com/2013/06/08/the-objectification-of-women-it-goes-much-further-than-sexy-pictures/

That being said, I think I'm out of here boys .

[searock]

If a woman is ugly. she can only get a crappy guy. Yet if a guy is ugly...he can still get a good looking girl.

The thing is, attractiveness is subjective. A guy might find a girl hideous and another guy might find the same girl stunning. So an "unattractive woman" is actually only unattractive according to someone, not *ALL* people (unless she has huge deformities or bad hygiene or something). Amongst those people who do find her attractive, there most likely will be a guy that she finds attractive. So everything works :-D.

When it comes to societal pressure on a conventionally unattractive woman to fit into standardized beauty parameters, that's a different story, that I've already discussed. What happens in real life is very different, which makes the dichotomy between mentality and reality that much more ridiculous and damaging: people start believing that they're doing something wrong if they don't fit into the standards... for example, a guy that is dating a conventionally unattractive girl might feel embarrassed in front of his friends - or worse, a particularly young or simply immature/dim guy might actually NOT date a girl he is attracted to only because she doesn't fit into beauty standards. Another example, if they do date, other people that see them together might think "why the hell is such an ugly woman together with such a handsome guy?" and so on (same thing goes for the vice-versa, in the specific case of a conventionally unattractive guy together with a conventionally attractive woman, generally the idea is that "he must be rich"). Of course as I've said grown, intelligent adults usually pay much less attention to these societally imposed standards, because they've realized that they do not reflect what actually happens in reality when it comes to attraction. It is however the default setting we are born into.

[michelle23]

I actually agree to a certain extent with swan. Unattractive people in general do tend to get messed around more in love. Maybe thats coz attractive people have higher self esteem and dont allow people to treat them bad or maybe its coz some guys (particulary narcissistic men) see a vulnerable unattractive doormat and start to circle her like a shark. He knows shell let him get away with everything and takes full of advantage of that.

We all know life is easier if your attractive. Theres no denying that

Sent from my GT-I9505 using Tapatalk

[HDBadger]

Women are not primarily evaluated by looks, and whoever really thinks that needs a reality check.

It may be the *first thing* a person sees, because, looking at a female across Starbucks, a guy can't possibly know anything else *but* how she looks.

But it is absolutely not the only thing women are judged by, nor is it the most important or heavily-valued thing.

I keep wonderful women in my life because they are caring and intelligent, not because they have nice racks. My friends married their wives because their wives are loving and have great personalities. My mom became a successful university professor because she is driven, intelligent, and didn't allow the "media" and "society" to impact her self worth and what she did or didn't do with her life. My sister excels in a work environment even when there are domineering men around because she is sharp, not because she puts on make up and 4-inch heels in the morning.

But hey, if a person wants to blame the media and society for his or her low self-esteem and short comings, go ahead. See how that works out.

The exception to all this, of course, is if a physically gorgeous woman is otherwise a miserable, nasty person. And I've met more than a few of these in my life. Of course the only thing a guy is going to care about is her looks because, aside from her looks, she's, well, miserable.

[Ugly_Swan]

Women are not primarily evaluated by looks, and whoever really thinks that needs a reality check.

It may be the *first thing* a person sees, because, looking at a female across Starbucks, a guy can't possibly know anything else *but* how she looks.

But it is absolutely not the only thing women are judged by, nor is it the most important or heavily-valued thing.

I keep wonderful women in my life because they are caring and intelligent, not because they have nice racks. My friends married their wives because their wives are loving and have great personalities. My mom became a successful university professor because she is driven, intelligent, and didn't allow the "media" and "society" to impact her self worth and what she did or didn't do with her life. My sister excels in a work environment even when there are domineering men around because she is sharp, not because she puts on make up and 4-inch heels in the morning.

But hey, if a person wants to blame the media and society for his or her low self-esteem and short comings, go ahead. See how that works out.

The exception to all this, of course, is if a physically gorgeous woman is otherwise a miserable, nasty person. And I've met more than a few of these in my life. Of course the only thing a guy is going to care about is her looks because, aside from her looks, she's, well, miserable.

kaaayyyy so again people are discussing "Getting by in life" and getting good jobs lol and completely ignoring the type of men the unattractive women got. And it's not that there are no exceptions, but the general trend stands, since there are certain universal beauty standards (symmetry, big eyes, small chin, etc.).

I disagree about media, though. I think it's a biological or at very least societal thing, not a "brainwashing by marketing" thing.

But this isn't even my thread, so I'm out. Still can't believe the unwarranted rudeness I received from one of the posters--though it seems he has a habit of swearing at people on the forums.

I'm

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Still can't believe the unwarranted rudeness I received from one of the posters--though it seems he has a habit of swearing at people on the forums.

Soooo, have you been able to think of a single reason a guy would want to spend an extended amount of time with you yet, or still content to just whine and cry about how ugly you think you are?

[Ugly_Swan]

Soooo, have you been able to think of a single reason a guy would want to spend an extended amount of time with you yet, or still content to just whine and cry about how ugly you think you are?

Surprised you haven't by now realized that I'm just not gonna entertain the question of someone that speaks/writes to me like that. Don't worry about me, worry about you.