I got attached, then got discarded, and now I feel hurt. How do I feel OK about it?

[Ugly_Swan]

Swan, you misunderstood what I said: By saying you can lose anyone, that doesn't mean they would leave you - I meant the circumstances might take them away from you. True love is the most sure thing you can have in this world. Meaning if you have true love with them, it will last, it doesn't fade away, it doesn't let you down. True love never fails.

But like.....that can't exist? "Nothing lasts forever"? Like everything is constantly changing =S

See what you describe is what I want badly to exist (and believe in with my heart still)--but if your definition of true love involves the love between two people then, philosophically speaking, I doubt it exists =(

[Ugly_Swan]

If your ex-bf wanted to see you again- what would you do?

Ooooooh tough question.

I would be scared of seeing him--but I think I would be too tempted NOT to see him -- not because I want to get back with him badly/easily--but because if I say "no"....I'll be left with nagging regret over not saying "yes" wondering what if. It's very hard for me to avoid exploring "every door"

[Rowen]

Im with smackie. Your just out of a relationship, lonely, your confidence is low etc. The worst way to deal with that is clinging to some random guy. Plus you let things happen too fast between you b4 you new whether your on the same page or not. Your ego has taken a little knock, get over it, it happens to everyone. Be alone for awhile and take some time to figure out what you want and stay away from men at the moment coz your vulnerable

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My Lord! SHE'S BACK!

We missed you, Michelle!

As for the OP, I agree with Smackie as well. It's best to delve within yourself and sort out your own issues. As my therapist has told me (I include this because I think it may apply here), assurance and wholeness has to come from within. It's your job because it's your life. People may come and go, but you will be there. And when you put that job on others, that's when you push them away.

Look deep within yourself, and establish a focus on how you can improve this mentality for your own well-being...not for anyone else. Sort you out...because when you do, you'll have the person that compliments your personality- the one you'll always love.

[Ugly_Swan]

My Lord! SHE'S BACK!

We missed you, Michelle!

As for the OP, I agree with Smackie as well. It's best to delve within yourself and sort out your own issues. As my therapist has told me (I include this because I think it may apply here), assurance and wholeness has to come from within. It's your job because it's your life. People may come and go, but you will be there. And when you put that job on others, that's when you push them away.

Look deep within yourself, and establish a focus on how you can improve this mentality for your own well-being...not for anyone else. Sort you out...because when you do, you'll have the person that compliments your personality- the one you'll always love.

Well, see, that's the problem. Already know that that is the solution. I'm even on a "Dating detox" right now. And that's why I'm exploring deep confusing topics right now. But the "how" I'm not clear of because whenever I hear that I have to rely only on myself (which I already know intellectually and from things I've witnessed), it hurts. I don't want a world where I have to be completely alone and self-reliant. Esp. because I don't think I'm capable. So it's scary and hard to accept.

[bluesummer]

I think, bottom line is.....men are going to gravitate towards you more when it seems like you've got it together and are comfortable in your own skin. Every guy I've talked to told me there's nothing worse than dating a girl that has so little going on in her own life that she latches onto them like a leech and expects them to fill all the gaps in their life (social or emotional, whatever). Yeah, they want to feel loved and needed. From what you've said though it sounds like you move on to the next guy and throw your whole self 100% into the relationship. It's just not healthy, and frankly it's a little intimidating to anyone that would date you.

I think you understand this, but now you need to get to the part where you can actually make yourself believe that men and love are not the be all end all. Maybe you need to go through a few more crap relationships before you'll fully get it, but let's hope not.