Received this letter. Has my wife cheated?

[PhilH]

I just received the following anonymous letter to my parents address.

"I wanted you to receive this message without the risk of your wife reading it.

Moving a long distance away from family and friends must be difficult but all new marriages face problems. Sometimes once the initial excitements of the wedding events themselves have passed, and reality sets in, newly weds begin having doubts. This can lead one or both partners to make mistakes. You have to put the effort into a marriage to make it work, especially only six months in.

Finding out that [my wifes name] has cheated on you now, in this way, lets you reflect on things without rushing into confrontation. The who, where and when is irrelevant, you need to be concentrating on the why.

My ex-wife began cheating on me a year into our marriage, at the time I didn't know or suspect a thing. Two years later I caught her at it and not long after we had divorced. I think that if I had found out earlier, like this, I would have handled the situation differently and would still be married.

Take some time out to forgive and then work to strengthen your relationship so that it doesn't happen again.

Learning about this now and dealing with it in the correct way could be the key to a long and happy union."

It was sent to my parents address in my name using delivery which had to be signed for. Only my closest friends know that I got married six months ago (it was a low key thing) and they are also the only people that know I have moved a long way from where I was living before to live with my new wife. In fact only the people I invited to the wedding would know my wifes name.

The stamp on the envelop suggests it was posted from the area I am now living in and there is a postcode on the back of the envelope from this area but no name is given. No one I know in my new area would know my parents address and it is quite some distance away, about 3 hours by car.

I did receive a prank text from an old work colleague a few months ago which made me initially suspect him but he doesn't know I'm married, doesn't know I've moved, doesn't know my partners name and doesn't know my parents address.

I didn't suspect my new wife of cheating but I am suspicious now. Do you think she might be cheating?

[RobertWQ]

I'm not sure what to really do in this situation, given it could be true or not, but my suggestion would be to simply show the letter to your wife and discuss it with her, without being accusative (because if it IS a prank, you could damage your relationship for nothing). On the other hand, the person who sent it may have simply done so because she did cheat. Good luck with this.

[lausieboo]

The best bet is to ask your wife the truth and if you know her you'll know by her facial reaction if she's lying or not. You have the upper hand so you can catch her off guard but this could still be a horrible prank so keep your cool and use logic.

[somehelp4me]

Who would know your parents address? maybe your own wife sent the mail herself out of guilt.

[PhilH]

I can't think of anyone that would know my parents address. I'm really worried. What do you think about how it is worded, does it sound legit, my mind is clouded I can't think straight.

[michelle23]

Ok i have watched enough episodes of jeremy kyle to know that this could easily be a jealous ex or someone making up lies. If they lack the balls to come face to face with you to tell you something so awful then it very well could be bull**** if i were you id sit her down and tell her you have heard some rumours and your not accusing her of anything but you need to know has she ever cheated on you. Wait for her reaction. If shes calm and reassuring, she probably didnt so show her the letter and talk through it together. However if she gets angry or defensive and starts accusing you of not trusting her etc then she is likely guilty

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[michelle23]

Whoever wrote that letter did not have your best interests at heart and they didnt do it to save your marriage. No way. It was done in malice. Any genuine person would tell you to your face and they would also tell you who, when, where and try to give you proof

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[Wakeup]

I can't think of anyone that would know my parents address. I'm really worried. What do you think about how it is worded, does it sound legit, my mind is clouded I can't think straight.

Why not just show her the letter and gauge her reaction to it and then discuss? Why would you come here and ask us, perfect strangers, about this? Go and ask your wife and if it turns out to be the truth (you'll be able to tell by her reaction) then you can decide then what you should do / leave or stay with a cheating twit? Your choice but to put your head in the sand by coming here instead of the source (your wife) is just futile.

Every reply here is just conjecture and means sweet bugger all. Until you show your wife, you're not going to get to the bottom of anything by our guessing.

[PhilH]

The letter was definitely sent from the new area I live in. I don't know that many people in this area and definitely not anyone I'd expect to pull a prank like this.

Do you think it is conceivable that someone from my old location has found out where I've moved to and done a 6+ hour round trip to send this letter? I'm not sure I can believe that.

I'm scared to bring it up with my wife, that's why I posted here. I wanted to see whether other people thought it could possibly be a prank. I want to believe its a prank but not sure I can. I don't want to bring it up with my wife and her to lose trust in me for doubting her.

[Wakeup]

You are "scared" to bring it up to your wife? What is the alternative, Phil. To bury your head in the sand and hope she gets tired of him (if she's actually cheating)?

[UKRomantic]

Show her the letter, but don't accuse her.

Just sit down, say you've received this letter, you're not accusing her but you want to be honest with her and that's why you are showing her the letter.

Then judge yourself from her reaction.

[Peterd191]

Unless you have hard and fast evidence that your wife cheated do not show it to her or bring subject up. If the letter writer had evidence he/she would have disclosed it.if you love your wife do not do anything that would in any way impact negatively on your marriage.

[michelle23]

The letter was definitely sent from the new area I live in. We don't know that many people in this area and definitely not anyone I'd expect to pull a prank like this.

Do you think it is conceivable that someone from my old location has found out where I've moved to and done a 6+ hour round trip to send this letter? I'm not sure I can believe that.

I'm scared to bring it up with my wife, that's why I posted here. I wanted to see whether other people thought it could possibly be a prank. I want to believe its a prank but not sure I can. I don't want to bring it up with my wife and her to lose trust in me for doubting her.

All the letter says is that shes cheating. It gives no detail whatsoever which leads me to believe it prob is lies but ask yourself is your wife showing any signs of cheating? Has her behaviour changed in any way? Is she secretive? Working late? Got any new close male friend shes been spending time with? Distracted? Irritable? Gone off sex? Less affectionate? Spending a lot more time than usual in a different room to you? Taking her phone everywhere? Or sleeling with it under her people? Edgy? If no to all that then no shes probably not cheating

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[michelle23]

Ill just add OP, showing her this letter doesnt mean you dont trust her. But most people would be anxious to recieve such a letter. Its a normal reaction to qs it

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[Maple1714]

Show her the letter. She may know who sent it? I agree, that is sounds like a lie. If someone was worked up enough to send you a letter about such a matter, it would be out of emotion and more explosive. There would be more detail etc...

I might be reading too much into your post, but why does your marriage sound like it was a bit rushed and kind of a secret? Why did you have to move far away from where you used to live, quit your job, move in with your parents and get married all around the same time? That's just what the string of events sounded like to me from what you wrote. You got a weird prank call from an old co-worker? And now this weird letter?