dating women with kids. plz help

[lil_taul]

give me some help dating a woman with kids. most of my adult life, i had a rule... "no dating women with kids".... seem like every woman i meet had kids and i jus keep sayin no to them. then i hit age 25 and started getting selfconscious about still being alone.... so i decided to open up a lil more. so i meet this beautiful lady.... downside, she got 2 girls. age 8 and 11. i kid you not, the reason why i started dating her was cause she was jus so down to earth and i never meet anyone who i get along with this much and was pretty too.... now the first month or 2 of the relationship... we moved in together.... i saw her kids here and there.. so i was still cool with it. now its ova a yr together and the more we still together, the more the kids are around constantly. its like we have no alone time, neva find a baby sitter cuz she ain from here and don't know many people... we barley go out and have a good time alone. now im forced to act like i don't mind the kids comming along with us.... because i don't want her to think i dont' accept them. i do accept them, i jus want some alone time....which we rarley get...maybe 1 weekend a month so thats basically 2 days a month...smh. the other 28 days she being a mother tendin to dem cause they jus need her so much and can't do nothin. they not self reliant at all. sometime they can be disrespectful.... smart mouth, overly needy. and i didn't see none of this comming the first 3-4 months cause i guess they ain know me that much so they stayed in they room. now they stay in our bedroom more than they stay in they own...help me. cause i don't know where to start.

sometime i feel like im stuck in a relationship where im in love with mommy but have a hard time lovin her kids cause of the no time we have, disrespectfullness, neva been disciplined. now i have my first child on the way. im happy about that. and i always tell her "my kids ain gonna be like your previous 2" i say that cause i grew up with a ol skool grandma who didn't put up with anything. so thats all i know. i have a fear that mines will take after the other 2 cause the mom, when it comes to discipline. shes the worst to me. she the type to scream and yell at the top of her lungs cause they talkin back, then tell them to turn the tv off or something. then 20 minutes later she tell them to turn it back on... now im sittin there lookin at her like "dat ain solvin nothing" especially when she do that ova and ova and they ain changed yet....ect.

[vashti]

If you don't care for the way she parents her children, I really don't understand why you got her knocked up? Looks like you are stuck now. Maybe you should try some parenting classes.

For the record, step parents very often have little tolerance for normal child behaviors, especially when they haven't had any children of their own. Your expectations are probably unrealistic, and yes: your child WILL act like the others - they sound fairly normal to me.

[lil_taul]

well i got her knocked up because i love her.. its has nothin to do with the kids she already have...any crime on that? ..and true, i don't like her parenting skills but we too different people where shes weak, im strong! when its comes to discipline, shes weak.... the typical man not gonna even date a woman w/kids. matter of fact. i don't know any cause they always think of moms as a booty call or some sex object but nothing long term. i choose to think outside the box and give her a shot. glad i did cause she so cool but the kids are not. i jus act like they are. but she knows sometime, i can't stand them cause of their behavior. they have made some positive changes since i came... rules ive enforced and we both glad about ...so maybe i don't need those classes, thank you vashti