Crazy Love+jealousy.

[XHoney]

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years. We're perfect together! He's so great. Everything about him is wonderful and I fall more in love with him every day. But of course, we have some problems.. Or maybe to me they're what I can call "problems". I'm a jealous person, and it kills me to know that he has 3 or 4 phones, because he works in a company and he knows many people, it kills me to know that he goes out with his friends so much.. And when he goes out with his friends, he doesn't txt as much as he usually would. He might answer late sometimes and that pisses me off. But everyday, at night, he's available for me. Of course he's available when I need him most of the time, and I understand I can't talk to him when he's at work, even though he txts me sometimes to tell me how much he misses me. He's really good looking and there are things that happened during our relationship that makes me even more jealous whenever I think about it..

We've had our ups and downs.. and during the downs I tried to end it twice. But it didn't happen and I'm glad, because I can't see myself without him. But when I told him I want to end it, he was at a party that night and he got drunk, which he usually doesn't do, and he kissed a girl at that party. Didn't go further.. Thank God, but it still pisses me off, till today!

Another time when he was visiting a friend of his, his friend's sister saw him and she came and kissed him on his neck.. And I know these things might sound ridiculous but to me they are not.. And I can't get them out of my head!

Can you believe that I even get fu**ing jealous when he listens to Lana Del Rey?! And he once had her as his dp and that pissed me off! And whenever he gets busy, when not at work, all I think about is bad stuff, like he's probably talking to a girl, he and his friends are probably talking to girls, about girls, maybe there's a girl texting him and he wont tell me?

Let me make it clear, we're in a long distance relationship at the moment because of my study and because of his work. I'm 20 and he's 19. We're both working and I'm studying at the same time and we still manage to have time for each other. We text and call everyday.. Sometimes I wonder why he wouldn't want to sacrifice and come here with me, try to find a job here, he's stuck in his daddy's company. And again, I wonder, am I being too selfish here?! Is everything I said normal?!

Am I over-thinking everything?!
He always tells me he loves me more.. Which is not true. Because I love him more.

[Starnique]

Honey

I can see how him kissing another girl at a party can create trust issues. Now if he goes out and drinks, it'll make you wonder what the hell he's doing. As far as that, you can either get over it and let it go or move on because you can't keep dwelling on these past issues considering you chose to stay with him. Don't keep bringing shit up that you chose to stay with him thru.

However, you sound crazy as all get out. Obsessed even. I'm surprised he's not turned off to the point where he has left you. If you so concern with him being attractive then go find someone ugly. You can't control other people being attracted to him. After all, you was. It's all about how he handles the attention. I personally enjoy my man attractiveness. I love to have him on my arm because its a reflection of me and anybody can see I clearly have it going on. You need to get a life outside of him. He has become your whole world and that's just silly. You need to relax. So what if he goes out with his friends. I think you have insecurity issues. If you were secure with yourself and your relationship, you wouldnt worry about all of this. You need to do some inner self reflections and try to get to the bottom of why you are the way you are.

I personally went thru a lot with my ex and I had trust issues and then I start taking it out on diff guys but I had to realize that, they wasn't him and I should trust completely (without being naive) unless they give me reason not to. If I felt I had to worry and obsess over them the way you do, then I wouldnt be with them in the first place.

If he's all that the way you claim he is and could've had any other girl, be glad he chose you and in return, you gave him the privilege of being with you. A loving, beautiful, intelligent, confident, secure woman. If you want to keep him, you better start acting like you got some sense.

[XHoney]

Trust me, I'm all secure and I love myself.
In the beginning he thought he'd never get me.
And so concern with him being attractive?! Well.. Put yourself in my position.
Some of what you said was true, and some not.

We both love each other so much. He's like a diamond.. I don't wanna lose it. I love his personality and his caring and his love and his intelligence and everything about him.
If I'm obsessed, I wonder what you would have said about him.
He knows me better than my family does. He sees things in me that other people don't see.

It's not him I don't trust, it's the people around him.
But I should relax as you said, focus on his happiness, and maybe him going out with friends makes him feel better.

Thanks for reading my post, appreciated!

[oxytocinbite]

You can't use the excuse that it's "people around him". You have to trust your boyfriend, trust is a huge part of a relationship and if you keep spending all this time thinking about him texting other girls, talking to girls, and blah blah blah..I can't tell you if nothing bad is going to happen someday but you can't live your life thinking about it over and over again. It's just going to bite you in the ass.

I feel you must still have issues regarding the kiss he shared with that girl, you need to talk to him about it and tell him that is still makes you feel bad. Communication is another huge deal with a relationship and so far you are failing at both.

Long distance can be hard since you never know exactly what he is doing, but I dated long distance and yes there were times when I felt worried about him cheating on me. I grew out of it though, I learned to trust him because I know it upsets him when he thinks I don't trust him. I always told him when a girl bothered me, I always communicated how I felt. You need to do the same thing.

[XHoney]

I know it might ruin me and him!
It's bothering me so much. But I can't just stop these thoughts. And about the kiss.. How many times am I gonna tell him?! But I just can't get it out of my head. Most of the argues we've had is because of jealousy and other girls. Sometimes I feel like he makes me jealous on purpose. And he says he gets jealous just like me and even more, but he doesn't show it. That's the difference between me and him.

Trust IS a huge part of a relationship, I'm working on it. But it's not that I don't trust him. If I put him with 10000 other girls in a room I still know he wouldn't do anything.. But the girls might! Got my point now?!

Anyway, I will work on this. Because I really want him. And small things like these shouldn't ruin a great relationship.

[Starnique]

I know it might ruin me and him!
It's bothering me so much. But I can't just stop these thoughts. And about the kiss.. How many times am I gonna tell him?! But I just can't get it out of my head. Most of the argues we've had is because of jealousy and other girls. Sometimes I feel like he makes me jealous on purpose. And he says he gets jealous just like me and even more, but he doesn't show it. That's the difference between me and him.

Trust IS a huge part of a relationship, I'm working on it. But it's not that I don't trust him. If I put him with 10000 other girls in a room I still know he wouldn't do anything.. But the girls might! Got my point now?!.

No. No, I do not get your point at all. As I said before, how he handles being in that situation is what matters.

Can you believe that I even get fu**ing jealous when he listens to Lana Del Rey?! And he once had her as his dp and that pissed me off! And whenever he gets busy, when not at work, all I think about is bad stuff, like he's probably talking to a girl, he and his friends are probably talking to girls, about girls, maybe there's a girl texting him and he wont tell me?

That right there screams insecurity on your part. My ex love Beyonce and Ashanti and one day I woke him up and I startled him and he had the nerve to wake up talking about, "damn, why'd you wake me up?! I was dreaming about Beyonce and Ashanti and we were laid up". Lol. I thought it was funny and still do. I am territorial but only if I have reason then yeah, I'll become crazy, even hostile and I really dont care. It is what it is. If he's not doing anything to make me act that way then I'll be sweet as cupcakes and cater to him and shit like that. But that is only from outright disrepect, normally I dont accuse, and drive myself crazy like you're doing. I dont worry about my man if he's out because I expect him to do the right thing and make the right decisions.

If the relationship is so great then stop stressing over everything and then trying to deny it.