My ex keeps talking about her recently broken heart, how should I deal with her?

[Alex Gu]

A little background, she and I broke up years ago and we've known each other since 12 yrs old. Ever since we broke up we've maintained an amicable relationship just like a long time friend would. I studied overseas in college but whenever I went back home I always made time to hang out with her once or twice (just the two of us). I've been dating other girls and she has been dating this man, who was her rebound guy after she broke up with me, for the last 5 years (it's amazing right? since rebounds usually don't last). A few months ago, she was dumped by that guy. Near the end of her relationship she told me how their relationship was so stale and they hardly act like a couple anymore. Throughout the years I also got the feeling that she was never really into that guy. She has always refused to acknowledge him on Facebook. There were many times when the guy tried to change her status to "in a relationship" but she always changed it back. Anyway, not long after that the guy said he wants to break up with her and that he has been close with another girl for quite some time.

Now the problem is once she was actually dumped, she went into full depression mode despite her earlier claim that she feels nothing for the guy anymore. She kept going on about (strangely) how she really loved him and would never let him go, etc etc. After a while though, she started to calm down. This past few months she has been talking to me a lot more frequent than usual. 90% of the time she's the one who initiated the conversation. She's also being way more affectionate than usual, laughing at even the smallest jokes and using a lot of emoticons when texting. I know she's trying to find comfort in me and being the good friend (and ex) that I am, I listened to her. The problem is occasionally she'd have an outburst about how miserable she feels and kept asking me if that guy would ask her back. This usually happens between 1-2 weeks period before she resorts back to her cheery self. It has happened many times over the past few months.

My question is, how should I deal with her? if I don't answer her it'd seem like I'm a cold person (which I don't want since I don't usually ignore her) but at the same time whenever she has that misery outburst she's been asking me the same stuffs. "Do you think one day he'll want to be back with me?", "Do you think he really has another girl" etc etc for God knows how many times and I would answer her the same things again and again. She seemed determined to move on, she has deleted her Facebook, deleted his contacts from phone, Instagram, Twitter, you mention it. She also said she'd never go back to him if he ever asks. She also constantly mentioned that she doesn't want the hassle of meeting another guy and starting from zero again, that she'd rather be with someone she's familiar with (is it a hint that she wants to be with me? who knows)

If you're wondering, no I don't plan on being her rebound guy. I did think about trying to date her once again since I've also just recently broken up with another girl but I'm still not set on this. If I'm going to date her again, I don't want to do it now when she's still on her broken heart phase. I have a slight interest but my feelings for her is mostly platonic at this time.

[Ana901]

Be careful, these type of love is just for moments..

[4 ratties]

Sounds like she gets lonely and decides to make it about the ex boyfriend. She's probably just insecure and wants someone there. Tell her to shut up about it or go to counseling

[Boisdevie]

Why is it so important to stay in touch with your ex and have to listen to all this drama? Don't you have other friends? I have an ex-GF - I haven't seen her or spoken to her since day we ended things. Why don't you try doing the same.

[Alex Gu]

Why is it so important to stay in touch with your ex and have to listen to all this drama? Don't you have other friends? I have an ex-GF - I haven't seen her or spoken to her since day we ended things. Why don't you try doing the same

I don't keep in touch with ALL of them. It's kinda difficult not to keep seeing each other if you live close to each other and happens to be a long time friend. She's one of the precious few who went from friend to girlfriend and to friend again. It's not like I constantly hang out with her even after I went back home, it's just that lately she's been contacting me a lot more often than usual and it's difficult to say no because we've known each other for a long time. I'm responding to her as a friend here, unless you're saying I should just severe my friendship with her.

[VincenzoG91]

She probably won't find lasting happiness until she learns to be happy while she is single. Don't date her out of pity.

[PeterPeter]

You'll be used as a rebound..

[honey79]

Sounds a lot like you're hoping she still has feelings for you. But also sounds a lot like she actually has feelings for her ex. Give it up.

[searock]

Stop being in contact with her or you'll never be able to actually move on.