Guys: Is it even possible to feel this way.....?

[Emilieya]

Is it really possible for a guy to still love a girl or still have feelings for her but not want to be with her anymore and tell her she'll find a better guy even though deep down you know you still love her? Also if you still care about her and you tell her you don't want to hurt her does that mean that you still love her?

I heard the saying "You know you love her when you let her go" a few times and i've heard it in songs before but I don't understand how "letting her go" means love? I don't know about other females, but me personally when I love someone I will do whatever it takes to be with that person and I don't let anything get in the way. I would never let go or give up...Do guys think differently?

[datepleo]

That seems like my current situation in life

[basilandthyme]

Hon, you keep asking the same question in different ways. I know you want someone to tell you that he still loves you and will want you back - but it really doesn't look likely. Why do you believe he still loves you or has feelings for you?

Edited to add: you say that when you love someone you'll do whatever it takes to be with them. You seem to forget that you dumped him. Dumping someone does not fall under the category of doing whatever it takes to be with someone.

[searock]

Love can be romantic and non-romantic. He may love you non-romantically as you would love a friend or a family member, but he doesn't love you romantically anymore.

[RevSnos16]

Speak to him directly. It helps solve open issues

[phish]

How long have you been with him? If he says there's a 'better guy', are you saying that he's messed up with you before (ie. cheated etc.) or is kind of scummy/hopeless (ie. lives in mom's basement etc.).

If I really cared about a girl (which hardly happens because I'm not the type to get emotionally invested easily), and I got with her, I would not tell her what your guy told you.

Instead, I would do everything I could to stay with her. Unless there was a circumstance that I couldn't bear (I find out she was sleeping with my best buddy etc.), or an upcoming 4 year LDR, I would not considering 'letting her go' for any reason.

[Tre101]

Love comes in many different forms. This guy does seem to care about you but in a brotherly way. Of course I could be wrong. All I know is that when I've really loved a girl I've chased her.

[!Joe264!]

it depends on the case...I met a girl once that I really liked and I really want her to be happy...but she lied to me so ..no trust...no relationship...

[Wakeup]

personally when I love someone I will do whatever it takes to be with that person and I don't let anything get in the way. I would never let go or give up...Do guys think differently?

This means sweet bugger all if you are the only one fighting for the relationship. If the one YOU won't let anything get in the way for doesn't want to be with you, then you are fighting a losing battle.

Men are not one giant collective with all the same thoughts and opinions so your question: "Do guys think this way" is irrelevant. What is relevant is that the guy you want to fight for does not think like you do and that is what you have to learn to accept.

Once you accept, you'll be able to get over (what appears to be) your obsession of him.

[Tug]

I just answered a question of yours in another thread you started.

I love my g/f more than life itself there isnt anything I wouldnt do for her and miss her so much its beyond putting into words BUT my ex g/f is a liar and is a toxic person to have a relationship with. Her track record is concerning relationships is terrible and had she told me about her past when we first started dating I would have never went out with her. The heart wants what it wants but after awhile you have to see the other person isnt going to change or theres just to damage so you have to think with your head and not your heart.

I understand that your hurt and you miss your b/f but he's not only moved he's moved on with his life. You need to accept that and let it go. I know how hard it is because its taking every bit of emotional strength I have not to text my ex. You called him and he never called back, if he still loved you he'd take 10 seconds out of his day just to call you and say he's busy and he'll call you when he has time but he didnt even do that. Thats why I cant text my ex, if she doesnt respond it'll make the pain much, much worst.

[Wakeup]

^^^^ This! Nice way to show how you are NOT codependent and that you have love of self, Tug. Well done.

[Alex Gu]

Not for me. I don't think it's possible.. if I love a girl I WILL want to be with her, whatever the reason.

[Tug]

^^^^ This! Nice way to show how you are NOT codependent and that you have love of self, Tug. Well done.

YOUR PATHETIC! With 9400 posts how can you come here and contribute anything beings you never leave the safety of this forum and couldnt get a woman to save your life. If you have nothing positive to offer dont say anything at all. People come here for sympathy and compassion while they try to work through a very difficult time in their life. Your reply offers none of that. GO TROLL SOMEPLACE ELSE LOSER!

[Tug]

Not for me. I don't think it's possible.. if I love a girl I WILL want to be with her, whatever the reason.

Alex someplace you have to draw the line if you dont you'll be disrespected and she'll end up leaving you anyway. Do I love my g/f? Yeah I do. Will I ever contact her again? Not gonna happen

[searock]

Tug, why do you keep referring to your ex girlfriend as your girlfriend? She is your ex.

Also, clearly you have misjudged Wakeup big time.