How can I convince my GF to poop less often?

[markspring0124]

Every morning like clockwork when my girlfriend and i get out of bed, she goes to the bathroom to take her dump before heading off to work and then it seems like right after we eat dinner she does the same thing predictably. Every time she goes (twice a day) she takes a long time in the bathroom and I can her her sigh and moan as she is dropping it off.....

Unfortunately this is really a turn-off for me as the smell is pretty nasty after she does her business too.

She also has this MISGUIDED attitude that she has this God given right to just poop several times a day whenever she feels like it........

I really do not want her to poop twice a day and I am totally convinced that it isnt at all necessary for her to do a number 2, twice each day. The other day I brought this up to her and I go on to tell her that this grosses me out and that she ought to find a way to only have to poop once every 5 days as that would be much better for me to deal with.

Also I think it would be a lot better for her health if she only pooped every 5 days and that the world would be better off if she only pooped this often. I also mentioned to her that she should hold it in and suppress the urge to take a dump if she feels the need to go more than once every 5 days.

Unfort, she got really mad when i suggested that and claims there is no way she can go 5 days with out a BM. In response to that, I said that there is no logical reason WHY she would need to go 2 times each day and I then went on to say that her mind is playing tricks on her thinking she has to go #2 twice each day and that she can train herself to only have to go every 5 days.

Again, when I say this to her she gets defensive and argumentative with me and is convinced she has to go twice a day.

I then ask her if we can compromise and have her poop every 3 days (which would be better for everyone, including her) and she STILL argues with me and claims this isnt often enough for her to move her bowels.

She gets upset when i mention this but i am totally convinced that it isn't really necessary for her to have a bowel movement twice a day and that she would be fine if instead she went once every two days.

I am at a loss.....

Any advice?? Thanks

[mellymel]

she can not control her bowels....stop being so controlling

[4 ratties]

You've got quite an imagination

[basilandthyme]

I can only see one big turd which she needs to dump

[basilandthyme]

Sorry, I couldn't resist ^^ this pun.

In all seriousness, you don't really think anyone here believes this story do you? If you really wanted to get us going, it would have been wise to invent a solution of your own which was a bit more believable.

[vashti]

cheese and bananas

[Boisdevie]

I suggest the woman agrees to not poop in the morning if her BF agrees not to breathe for the mornings.

[pcmaster]

She allows herself too much. Thats right she shouldnt act like pooping machine. Girls are all about buterflies flowers and nice smells. What if you want anal sex in the moorning? She always should be ready for it.

She could learn from this girl.

http://www.pocketfives.com/f13/things-my-girlfriend-does-hide-fact-she-craps-609680/

[Starnique]

^^^wow lmao and smdh^^^

[Lord Darkshire]

We had this post before. Hmmmmm, I smell a troll..... btw Happy Halloween everybody!

[TheEvilJester]

Well, my advice would be to search out the Golden Egg of Quartog. You see, once you find that, you can take that to the purple winged unicorn from Uranus. If you properly pay him with the Golden Egg, he will gladly give you a GPS that only gives you directions to and from The Kingdom of Sludge where you will meet The Sludge Monster Frank. (Don't ask him why a sludge monster is named Frank. His parents were Sludge Hippies and he is really sensitive about it). Once you find him, and befriend him, he will let you meet his roomate, who some of you may recognize from his role as the Poop Demon in the Jay and Silent Bob movie Dogma. Little known fact, he was not CGI, animatronics, or a prop of any kind. He's an actual Poop Demon. Unfortunately, he won't be able to offer any advice on how to get your girlfriend to poop less, but once you hang out with him for a while, her smell won't bother you nearly as much and you will be able to live with it. :-)

[havermoutpap]

I've always resolved this issue by implementing the following rule, for both parties. When you go number 2, leave the water running. It helps!

[HeartIsAching]

Bad troll! Bad! Bad! *smacking nose with rolled-up newspaper*

[Exeter19]

lol at OP. get a place with 2 bathrooms then and get a bathroom spray. this should go with thread about my bf doesn't wash his hands after he shits, rofl.

[markspring0124]

she can not control her bowels....stop being so controlling

What do you mean she can't control her bowels?? Of course she can. There is no reason for her to need to go #2 twice per day. None.

I suggest the woman agrees to not poop in the morning if her BF agrees not to breathe for the mornings.

With all due respect, thats a silly and false analogy. You HAVE to breath as you would die if you didn't. On the other hand, she is not going to die from not pooping.

Like i said, she has this misguided attitude that she has a God given right to just poop several times a day whenever she feels like it. She needs to understand that it would be a lot better for her health if she only pooped every 5 days.