Texting frequency

[RevSnos16]

It could be frustration from not seeing eachother for so long and creating uncertainty, Seeing eachother should swing things one way or another

[joanna1]

Ask for an email a day instead, you cannot rely much info or be very intimate or personal via a quick short text message and only one a day. That is if he is set on only sending one thing a day too you, obviously a phone would rate better than emails or texts but costs money.

On the Facebook conversation you read, that looks like he was interested in not only his ex but meeting up with new women too and asking his friend to introduce him to those women.

[1985@LoVe]

You have to be positive about everything, it'll only make things worse if you over think them

[Boisdevie]

You have to be positive about everything, it'll only make things worse if you over think them

I like positive. I'm a pretty positive guy. But there's positive and then there's deluded.

[Wakeup]

.why would someone be in a relationship when they really just want their ex?

Steady sex.

i really wasn't trying to snoop! i leave all his things alone all the time even if i have the perfect opportunity to look through things (i used to be a big snooper but have made a point to not do it in this relationship) but this seems to just have fallen into my lap and now i'm at a loss. i don't know how to react towards him but he has been being affectionate and sweet and holding me and kissing me...its so confusing!!

Its not confusing at all. You just don't want to look at the red flags and the fact that he's there, with you but he's not emotionally into this "thing" the two of you have going. By that email, he's still very much into his ex and his male friend is doing everything possible to help him get back into her good graces. All that and the fact that he barely speaks to you during the times you're not in each others bed makes me think that you'd do well to start distancing yourself emotionally from him slowly and then leaving or do the self-respecting thing and tell him you found his email, it's obvious he's not over his ex and you'll not be with him with this pink elephant (his ex) in the room sitting between the two of you.

Don't let him sweet talk you into staying with him with excuses for that email. There are NO excuses for that email.

[MrJones22]

I'm a former no-good cheating LDR boyfriend, so I'll offer my perspective on your problem.

Guys need a physical relationship, so LDR's are incredibly difficult. No matter how much a guy loves someone, we still think about sex 24/7. He's obviously been considering his options, and it's hard to blame him in this difficult scenario. He's just human, so you should be a little lenient.

However, if you want the relationship to last, both of you absolutely need to come clean. Tell him that you snooped on his facebook and you're sorry. Ask him to explain what's going on and be prepared to hear some hard truth.

What did you two talk about before the conversation dried up? If it's just lovey dovey stuff like "I miss you so much", it's bound to end eventually. People get bored over love for love's sake when they're in an LDR. You need to have some substance to talk about. Hobbies, common goals and solid plans to get back together.

My wife and I have been really good about not snooping on each other. However, I got curious one day and looked at her email for the first time... and she caught me. We talked about it and worked past it really quickly. After all, what kind of husband would I be if I never got curious? There is a fine line between being being compulsively jealous and just caring... you seem like you already figured this out.

Good luck!

[hkh8871]

I agree with you all. These comments he made were in mid october and i just saw them niw. it has not left my mind but his behavior is throwing me for a loop. He is so affectionate and when he thinks im sleeping hell kiss me on my cheek amd stroke my hair and hell just be so sweeet where i think...why? He even talks about the future amd the next time we will see each other and what we will do......it makes leaving him so much harder

[hkh8871]

The conversation dried up out of a combination of cause i was upset with him still for what happened while i was at home and because we were both IMMENSELY busy. He is not THE most sexual person either. I have a stronger sex drive by far and i think we have a good sexual "solution" when we are apart. We send videos and skype and dirty talk so he gets his "stress relief" almost everyday

[DalM0m]

I replied in the other thread before I realized these were related. You have to talk to him. You thought the relationship was on thin ice before he got to you. That feeling combined with these conversations . . . . you need to resolve this before you two separate again.

[kitejr]

I was in a long distance relationship for 3+ years, and from my experience, it only worked because of how often we talked. Now I was in high school at the start and at the end I was working 8 hour days, but we still found plenty of time to chat. We had long phone calls in the evening and small talk through texts during the day. It ended up failing because neither of us were willing to leave our cities to be together. So as far as continuing on a LDR, I would see and talk about your future plans with this person. Maybe wait until after they come down though, and go from there.

[hkh8871]

So just in case anyone was wondering- I wanted to update a bit on how my LDR is. He just left back to America today after a week together- it was not perfect but it was nice and fun and I think exactly what we needed to get back on track and find our ways back to each other. I mean there was definitely a bit of distance but I think that it's probably for the best- mainly on my part because he was becoming too much of my "whole life" instead of a part of my life that is making me happy- which i guess was a source of one of the problems. He did admit to me that he before we were "officially" together had kissed another girl and even slept with her but after he had had sex with me for the first time he didn't have sex with anyone and that after we were "officially" together that nothing ever happened- so I was a bit upset but in the end he didn't "break any rules". When he left this morning I cried like I usually do and he wiped away my tears and held me and kissed me and said that its only 6 weeks til we see each other and that he had fun with me here. It'll get easier with time I know but the first few days of being apart are always difficult. I'm hoping our communication will get better now that we both have let go of a lot of resentment and are happier to be in this relationship together. He still hasn't said I love you, but neither have i so I guess that will come on it's own time. I'm hoping that the texts I saw were just flukes because we weren't clicking so well and he thought that I was going to break up with him...I guess I will have to take a leap of faith on that one.

[rohit56601]

do whatever u feel like...if u wanna break up do it...move on..career is more imp..

[Loveworld]

dont care for the ones who doesnt care u

[michelle23]

LDR do NOT work. He will cheat on you-prob has already. All his sweet talk is bullcrap. Your being v naive. Just dump him and stop wasting time on something that will never work. You cahght him and you still have your head in the clouds. Wake up and find a local bf. Have a real life relationship. You only live once and life is too short to waste on liars or cheats. Just tell him to f off

Sent from my GT-I9505 using Tapatalk

[Wakeup]

Stop trying to analyze his words & look at his actions. I think you are projecting all sorts of negative thoughts on to this without a true basis for doing so. I bet, unless you do something nutty like greet him by screaming acusations & insecurities at him, that things will be just fine once he gets there. You are setting yourself up for disaster. Stop.

Things are always 'better' when there is going to be an actual interaction one-on-one. The thing is, what is the point of having a relationship that is only good when they are together once and only a while?

They are drifting. Long distance relationship are hard enough to maintain when there is solid communication through skype, phone conversations, emails and text. He has no time to nuture this relationship and she's feeling that. Once in a bluemoon one-on-one interaction with nothing in between but a few words sent on a screen to try and placate her is no way to maintain their emotional bond. Where are his words of love and his yearning to be with her and vice versa?

Op will keep trying though because she's too insecure to dump him and find someone who would have time and the vicinty to see her and nuture their union and subsequently keep the emotional bond going.

My two cents.