How do you think he feels about me?

[Emilieya]

Me & my ex have not been together anymore for about 10 months now. I was the one that ended it but the only reason why I had the courage to do it was because in the past we were off & on for a while & he always came back to me so I thought that he would come back this time too, but he didn't. I ended it because we were trying to work things out but then I found out that he was talking to another girl & planning on meeting her. I told him I was done & wrote a big status on Facebook about how angry I was & that I was done. He never replied my message so I said wow you really have nothing to say? & all he said was "no it's not that, it's just that It's like I can't believe in you." I tried to understand what he meant by that but he wasn't answering any of my messages. The reason why things were not working out was because he had such a hard time trusting me but I don't understand why because I was 100% faithful & also because every time something would go wrong I would write a big status about it on Facebook & I know he really hated that. After the break up we went 1-2 months without any contact then suddenly we started talking again, became friends & started sleeping together again. I tried getting him back many times. I would talk to him about how much I changed and how much I wanted to be with him & how much I loved him. I was practically begging him to be with me again. He would always say things like "I don't want to hurt you anymore" or "we already tried and it didn't work, you'll find someone better." I started to asked myself if I just needed him in my life for the s*x because it was so good I was wondering if just that would be enough to satisfy me. At first he didn't want because he said "what's the point of sleeping with the guy you love if you know it's not going to go anywhere" & I told him "I don't love you...I don't want anything from you...just the s*x." he said "Oh really? you don't love me anymore..that's great. go find someone else to do it with." Then I kept talking him into it & later on he kind of changed his mind about it and said that I could come over. I asked him if he wanted me to give him more space so that I don't give him the wrong impressions & he said we would talk about it when I come & I agreed. A few days later I came over & we had a really good time. At first we were just talking & asking what's new. I said a joke & kind of laughed & he said "so what you're sleeping around now?" & he kind put his head back & like made a face & had a reaction like it bothered him. At one point he took my hand & put his fingers in my fingers like he wanted to hold it but then I kind of pulled my hand away (cause I know that if I show him that I still love him it always pushes him away). we did sleep together & he seemed a lot more passionate then usual. like kissing me a lot & holding me close. also he asked me 2 or 3 times If I had slept with another guy & i'm not sure why he asked but there must be a reason. also at one point I woke up in the night & he was cuddling me. The next morning we went to a restaurant for breakfast & he was saying things like "you're gonna like where i'm bringing you" & then I kept talking about paying my meal with my debit card & he never said anything but then when we went to pay the waitress & I was going to pay mine & the waitress said to him "you told me you wanted it on one bill right?" he said yes & payed my meal. I was really surprised. He was also asking me a lot of questions about what I wanted to do in the future & if I was working on any projects. I also told him how I deleted my Facebook & that I was feeling a lot better. At the end of the day when I went home I just said bye and waved without hugging him (usually I always do) & he seemed really surprised that I didn't. Later he texted me with his friends phone telling me that when he gets his phone he would text me. I waited 2 months without any contact. Then suddenly I got a phone call from him, he told me he was calling because he didn't want me to think that he didn't want to talk to me anymore & he explained that he didn't get his phone yet. He was far away & was talking about his new job & how much he is improving & how well he was doing. I had to go since I was working so he said he would call me back the next day but he never did so then I called him last night & the person said they would let him know that I called so I waited but I never got a call back. What should I do? & how do you think he feels about me? Any tips and advice? I pray for him and it would be a dream come true to have another chance with him.

[basilandthyme]

Emilieya, paragraph breaks are your friend. This is too hard to read in it's current form.

[datepleo]

Hey Emilieya, interesting post, just a bit long ...I have read it thrice now. From the things you have typed in here, it seems like your ex still likes you overall, although he finds maybe a few things about you that is driving him away from you, or at the very least, not making an effort to sustain a healthy relationship with you. I think open communication is very important with him. Also equally important is for you to figure what you want from him. If you still love him, and sex is only secondary for you, then you should let him in the most clearest of words.

Don't beg him to be with you. Although, it's not a big turn off for guys, as much as it is for girl, but any show of desperation is never a good thing. I think being honest with him, and straightforward will go a long way in helping you in winning him back.

I would not worry too much about minor incidents like not calling you back etc. as long as you have bigger things established with him, which is trust. And don't share your relationship matters on social media, just to gain his attention

Hope it works out between you and him.

[Emilieya]

Hi Datepleo, thank you for the post it means a lot In the past I used to show a lot of desperation...I would practically beg him to be with me again but now I am being kind of cold and acting like I moved on...even though I still love him. I was really surprised and happy when he called me the other day, I was really not expecting it because in the past we would go months and months without talking and he would never try to contact me unless I reached out first...But now I am confused why he is not calling me back...I was thinking maybe he forgot but I called him the other day so that would of reminded him but he still didn't call back...I am just a little worried and confused

Thanks for helping me. God bless you

[datepleo]

If you still love him, you should let him know. Whatever happens, happens!!!

If you think you have done that enough in the past, then I would say, just let it go. But just don't leave anything unsaid, if your feelings for him are strong. Let him know.

Although, I think this should be your last resort. Girls are creative, and I am sure you have some tricks up your sleeve to make him like you back again. Let him do the expressing of his love for you . Even though, I am a guy myself, and I am not the best with girls, but it's always a bit of a turn off for me, when a girl is just too easy, or puts it out there without me making much of an effort.

However, depending on what stage your relationship is at, being straightforward could also be the right thing to do...I will let you decide.

Stay positive and confident.

~cheers.

[Emilieya]

If you still love him, you should let him know. Whatever happens, happens!!!

If you think you have done that enough in the past, then I would say, just let it go. But just don't leave anything unsaid, if your feelings for him are strong. Let him know.

Although, I think this should be your last resort. Girls are creative, and I am sure you have some tricks up your sleeve to make him like you back again. Let him do the expressing of his love for you . Even though, I am a guy myself, and I am not the best with girls, but it's always a bit of a turn off for me, when a girl is just too easy, or puts it out there without me making much of an effort.

However, depending on what stage your relationship is at, being straightforward could also be the right thing to do...I will let you decide.

Stay positive and confident.

~cheers.

I understand what you're saying and I agree but I have already tried telling him and it's like when I tell him I love him it pushes him away and makes him not want to talk to me anymore. Like for a while we were still sleeping together and then when I told him I loved him and everything he wanted to stop hanging out and sleeping together and everything...and how can I work on things with him and show him my improvement if I never get to see him or talk to him...that's why I have to pretend like I moved on...even though I still love him. I feel like deep down he still loves me but he is telling himself he can't be with me and I don't understand why...Maybe he felt hurt because he had a hard time trusting me and stuff but I was 100% faithful with him. I would NEVER hurt him.

Thanks for helping me out

God bless you

[basilandthyme]

I would NEVER hurt him.

Ah, but you DID hurt him. Dumping him would have hurt him. Facebook rants would have hurt him. If he has trouble trusting that you won't hurt him, I can understand why.

[Emilieya]

Ah, but you DID hurt him. Dumping him would have hurt him. Facebook rants would have hurt him. If he has trouble trusting that you won't hurt him, I can understand why.

Seriously? Do you have something against me? You don't even know our situation. You don't seem to understand correctly anything I say and yet you go on posting all these things like you're trying to make me look like a "bad" person. It seems like you're not reading my posts correctly, maybe you just don't understand or maybe you're just skimming through them not actually reading. And ok ya maybe I did end it the last time but how do you think I felt when I found on what I knew? and how you think I felt when I got no reply? and about the Fb rants, NOT ONCE did I ever mention his name. I had a private live and no one even knew who I was talking about. Please stop sending out negative comments on everything I say, you clearly don't understand me and I think it's really rude how you keep commenting on all my posts when I already asked you to please stop. Thank you

[RevSnos16]

Speak to him directly. It helps solve open issues

[1985@LoVe]

Open upfront and honesty solves it all

[Emilieya]

Speak to him directly. It helps solve open issues

Thanks for taking your time to help! Take care

[Emilieya]

Open upfront and honesty solves it all

Thanks for taking your time to help me ! Take care

[Wakeup]

Don't you think it's time you stopped this merry-go-round you're on, of off-and-on, basically Friends with Benefits that have made you this crazy woman you're coming across as?

This guy who you are obsessed with is right. You are better off without him. Stop taking him back. Stop teaching him that he can treat you indifferently and you'll still take him back no matter how insignificant he makes you feel.

Get help for your addiction to him and read this book which will help you to recognize yourself and him (the love avoidant) so that you can get yourself better. Right now, you are addicted to him like he was a bad drug. It's unhealthy and you are ruining your own chances of finding a decent man who you wont' have to fight for because he's not going anywhere, treats you well and actually loves you instead of just using you when it's convenient.

http://www.amazon.com/Facing-Love-Addiction-Giving-Yourself/dp/0062506048/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1371751528&sr=1-1&keywords=on+love+addiction

Work on acceptance and getting yourself healthy and forget about him.

[Wakeup]

Hi Datepleo, thank you for the post it means a lot In the past I used to show a lot of desperation...I would practically beg him to be with me again but now I am being kind of cold and acting like I moved on...even though I still love him. I was really surprised and happy when he called me the other day, I was really not expecting it because in the past we would go months and months without talking and he would never try to contact me unless I reached out first...But now I am confused why he is not calling me back...I was thinking maybe he forgot but I called him the other day so that would of reminded him but he still didn't call back...I am just a little worried and confused

you're still chasing him which tells him you're not relationship material when you'd settle to be a FB.
Are you familiar with the term Fvck Buddy or "Friends"with Benefits? You are one or the other. Since he's not hanging out with you to do other things besides sex, you are a FB. Surely you love yourself more then just being his bed partner and nothing more? Yes, yes you do that's why you broke up with him. Now you just have to believe that you did the right thing and stop contacting him and learn to ignore him (even if he contacts you first).

Thanks for helping me. God bless you

Why thank someone that just tells you what you want to hear when what you want to hear in in your worst interests? You have so little self-worth.


Please stop treating YOURself so poorly by trying to keep such a shallow thing going with this guy.

[HeartIsAching]

Seriously? Do you have something against me? You don't even know our situation. You don't seem to understand correctly anything I say and yet you go on posting all these things like you're trying to make me look like a "bad" person. It seems like you're not reading my posts correctly, maybe you just don't understand or maybe you're just skimming through them not actually reading. And ok ya maybe I did end it the last time but how do you think I felt when I found on what I knew? and how you think I felt when I got no reply? and about the Fb rants, NOT ONCE did I ever mention his name. I had a private live and no one even knew who I was talking about. Please stop sending out negative comments on everything I say, you clearly don't understand me and I think it's really rude how you keep commenting on all my posts when I already asked you to please stop. Thank you

She's not trying to make you look like a bad person, she's pointing out the flaws in your thinking. She's right - getting dumped hurts. You didn't know that?

Airing your breakup in public on FB is embarrassing and hurtful. You didn't know that?

Seriously?