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Thread: Why is it different with this guy?

  1. #1
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    Why is it different with this guy?

    My new guy and i are having some relationship troubles. I cant get comfortable enough to have sex with him, and i couldn't tell you why. Its not the first time ive had sex, ive never been raped or anything, he's a nice guy. We've been dating for 2 months i just cant get intimate with him kissing makes me nervous. I need help.

  2. #2
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    Could it be that you only feel friendship for him?
    Never regret anything that has happened in your life. It cannot be changed, forgotten or undone. So, take it as a lesson learned and move on.

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    Quote Originally Posted by basilandthyme View Post
    Could it be that you only feel friendship for him?
    I mean I guess but I really don't know I thought I loved him Its just when we kiss or try to get intimate I get scared I freeze and have almost a panic attack.

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    its an odd one, maybe you're not that physically attracted to him? as in you like his personality but maybe his looks do nothing for you, or possibly underneath you're scared of getting too close and getting hurt
    " Love and compassion are necessities not luxuries.Without them humanity cannot survive" Dalai Lama

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    Hi lovergirl101, first and foremost, there is no pressure to get intimate with him. If he's asking for it, just tell him you need more time. But at the same time, you should also work to find the answer to this situation yourself. You are the only person who knows yourself the best after all.

    Remember, getting intimate is more exciting when it comes naturally. Do not force yourself into it. It might be good for the moment, but it might leave some doubt in some corner of your mind. Just take things easy. Maybe you need to become more comfortable with him. I am sure once you start liking him more, getting intimate with him will be the next obvious step for you...

    ~cheers

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    What do you mean it makes you nervous? Are you afraid one of you is doing something wrong -- physically or emotionally? Does it feel more real / more intense to you & you are thinking along the lines of the may be "The One" so you're nervous & don't want to screw it up?

    I'm a big believer that it has to flow naturally & can't be forced. If it doesn't feel right don't do it.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by DalM0m View Post
    What do you mean it makes you nervous? Are you afraid one of you is doing something wrong -- physically or emotionally? Does it feel more real / more intense to you & you are thinking along the lines of the may be "The One" so you're nervous & don't want to screw it up?

    I'm a big believer that it has to flow naturally & can't be forced. If it doesn't feel right don't do it.
    Im not sure i really love him and i want to show him how much I love him by being intimate with him but i get nervous when we get intimate even when were making out. I tense up and panic and then i just tell him to stop. I know it doesnt feel wrong I just get nervous i dont know its not my first time i just really wish i could stop feeling like this. I dont know

  8. #8
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    You are not that into him then....you are with the wrong guy....with the right guy, you would feel very comfortable about it. Why are you forcing yourself to be in this relationship? I hear a lot of "he's a nice guy" "He's couldn't be more perfect for me, so why don't I feel passion for him?" You need more than "a nice guy" to make a perfect relationship.

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    Does he make comments that make you feel judged and you want to please him so much you think what you have to offer won't be good enough to him? I dated a guy who always compared or complained and I never felt up to snuff with him, and being around him made me feel uncomfortable. What does your boyfriend do to make you feel relaxed and more comfortable with him?

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by joanna1 View Post
    Does he make comments that make you feel judged and you want to please him so much you think what you have to offer won't be good enough to him? I dated a guy who always compared or complained and I never felt up to snuff with him, and being around him made me feel uncomfortable. What does your boyfriend do to make you feel relaxed and more comfortable with him?
    He doesnt really try to make me feel comfortable he just stops and does something else. I think hes getting frustrated.

  11. #11
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    but what do you feel??

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