Flirting Girl...

[jones54]

So here is my story,

I have joined this band a couple of months agao, where we are 5 male musicans and this gorugouI have joined this band a couple of months ago, were we are 5 male musicians and this gorgeous female singer I have this crush on.

We have become friends since then and when we are talking she shows a lot of what I know is flirting body language like, playing with her hair, fixing her clothes, lots of eye contact with that very interested gaze, the occasional touch, laughing at most of silly comments, pupil dilation (I’m not an expert in this), keeps close body contact etc etc.

My problem is that she shows most of these signals to a certain extent (at least the ones visible to a third party) to the other guys in band, even to a particular guy she finds dumb. So I believe it is part of her character to use flirting just to be friendly.

When we are playing a song and all of us are looking at each other, our eyes get locked several times and we hold the gaze for a second or two until one of us initiates a smile which the other immediately follows. I caught her several times looking at my direction even if I am not in front of her, and the more time passes the more I find myself talking to this girl both alone and when the other band members are present.

On the other side, she gives me a feeling as if she keeps her distance from me, as if I am some kind of threat to her, like she never phones me for some band related business or if she needs a lift to the rehearsal place and back.

Do I stand a chance with this is girl? I know she had a boyfriend which she never mentions but I need to sort it out. If I ask her out and get rejected, I am sure I will ruin our friendship and create unwanted tension within the band, so I do not want to tell her nothing unless I am almost sure the outcome will be positive.

Sorry for the long post.

[Junket]

Sounds like a bad situation to me.

[mhussain]

wait and watch mate , wait and watch

Hussain

[ALovelyLady86]

Just because there is attraction between the two of you doesnt mean you need to ask the girl out. She isnt playing a game or anything, she seems smart, shes trying to keep a low profile on this and probably knows a relationship would make the band... probably non-existant.
Look for a girl who you arent in a band with. Big bands like No Doubt, where members date each other, dont fall apart because theyre already a big band... whereas a small band with not much support and credibility can fall apart especially quickly at the slightest ordeal.

[Only-virgins]

Whats your band play and were are you located?

[jones54]

So how do you explain, that one of us comes up with an excuse or a valid reason for us to spend even a minute or two alone, were we just comment about what is happening or ask some sort of open ended question to each other.

I have developed this idea now. I belive that what is keeping her for acting the same with me and keeping that distance, is that she doesn't want to have her emotions hurt by me. What do you think girls? I know some girls flirt just to be friendly, but what do these girls do when they are intrested in someone. Do they reduce their flirting cause they belive they can blow away thier chance too soon?

[jones54]

BTW, we play a lot of covers for now, but we started writing some tunes which sound quite close to the commercial rock with that hint of progressive rock. We are based in the UK

[ALovelyLady86]

different girls do different things... ive never been a flirter even when i liked a guy... some girls flirt even if they dont like a guy...

[Mike]

different girls do different things... ive never been a flirter even when i liked a guy... some girls flirt even if they dont like a guy...

Bahhhhh, you gotta hate girls who flirt extensively with every guy they meet. I've fallen for this before, and am gladly more clued up on it now.

However, don't assume its any similar to my situation, just be careful, don't attach feelings to her until you have better evidence.