2 issues

[carlton99]

1 - My girlfriend says I am a beta male and I feel she thinks I am too nice. She says my world revolves around her and that I am almost a bit needy.

2 - She says I am too serious in the bedroom and she can sense when I want sex. I need to be more fun she says.


The first issue is just my nature, but I feel I can adapt.

The second issue is due to her being on meds, then getting headaches and sex is ALWAYS on her terms so I lay there waiting for her to pounce instead of making the move myself and when I do make the move she says I do it with touching, stroking etc and she just wants to be f**ked in the bedroom as she has nice guy out of the bedroom.

Any ideas on either would be great?

[smackie9]

Be more confident and aggressive. Women like men to take the lead with confidence. If you don't show hot desire like you can barley control yourself, it's a turn on for women to be desired in that way.

Stop being at her beck and call. Don't answer her texts right away, be aloof, distant, cool when around her.

[carlton99]

Be more confident and aggressive. Women like men to take the lead with confidence. If you don't show hot desire like you can barley control yourself, it's a turn on for women to be desired in that way.

Stop being at her beck and call. Don't answer her texts right away, be aloof, distant, cool when around her.

Thanks but maybe a bit more of her background is required.

She is not a sexual person, but maybe I don't bring that out in her. She fancies me and loves me but I feel passion towards her but her not so much to me. She shagged around when younger in an attempt to find love and now she has found love she is struggling how to deal with it. She also gave herself too easily before and is determined not to do that again, despite me meaning the world to her (in her words).

She is more like the man in the relationship. I remember dates, like cuddling and whilst she holds my hand and wants kisses we never snog except in that moment in bed.
We have had sex counselling and I do try to be cool with my texts and I have recently changed jobs which means I see her less but still she doesn't pine for me in the bed.

She also has self esteem issues and I adore her body but she thinks she is flabby, not toned, has wrinkles etc where as I think her body is fab and cannot keep my eyes off her.

[shoegal92]

Thanks but maybe a bit more of her background is required.

She is not a sexual person, but maybe I don't bring that out in her. She fancies me and loves me but I feel passion towards her but her not so much to me. She shagged around when younger in an attempt to find love and now she has found love she is struggling how to deal with it. She also gave herself too easily before and is determined not to do that again, despite me meaning the world to her (in her words).

She is more like the man in the relationship. I remember dates, like cuddling and whilst she holds my hand and wants kisses we never snog except in that moment in bed.
We have had sex counselling and I do try to be cool with my texts and I have recently changed jobs which means I see her less but still she doesn't pine for me in the bed.

She also has self esteem issues and I adore her body but she thinks she is flabby, not toned, has wrinkles etc where as I think her body is fab and cannot keep my eyes off her.

She doesn't sound like a relationship girl. You say she shagged around... it sounds like she did that to cover up her own self esteem issues. Now she's in a relationship and her flaws are more revealed, she's scared. Is she really worth the hassle?

[smackie9]

Well I have seen it before one here, women saying they are with the perfect guy but they don't feel the passion they are looking for. What your GF has done is what they call "settling". Settling for someone that is just OK, instead of finding someone that checks off all those boxes on the expectation list. The reality of this is you both need to not be in a relationship anymore.....why waste being unsatisfied and confused when it's obvious you both were not meant for each other.

[smackie9]

1 - My girlfriend says I am a beta male and I feel she thinks I am too nice. She says my world revolves around her and that I am almost a bit needy.

2 - She says I am too serious in the bedroom and she can sense when I want sex. I need to be more fun she says.

This proves you are not her ideal guy and she is asking you to not be yourself....it's wrong.

[w8lifter53]

My take... Suprise her. Grab her one day in the kitchen and have your way with her in a respectful but agressive manner. Some women like when I guy takes charge. ;-) Have some fun.

Beta.. become and Alpha. Have some confidence in yourself. Let her know you do not need her. You can do this and still be respectful.

Not all women desire this but it sounds like youur's does....

Good luck!

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Start seeing other girls too. Don't pay as much attention to her. Do not be afraid to sleep with other girls. If she knows you are desired by other women, she'll want you more and you won't be seen as "beta". You'll be the guy that takes what he wants.

[Maple1714]

Start seeing other girls too. Don't pay as much attention to her. Do not be afraid to sleep with other girls. If she knows you are desired by other women, she'll want you more and you won't be seen as "beta". You'll be the guy that takes what he wants.

But, how is he supposed to sleep with other girls and do the whole deal you suggest when he is already in the middle of a committed relationship?

OP - do you live together? Is yes, then move out and live apart and "separate" or whatever you want to call it and do what Backup suggests. If you don't live together just be honest with her and tell her you want some space to try and work on being less beta a.k.a. experiencing other women and yourself too. What do you want? She might realize she wants to make some compromises too in order to sustain a relationship with you.

Or you can stay together and try and work on things. She's telling you what she wants, which is a good thing. Try and be more masculine in the bedroom. However, not every two people are sexually compatible in the first place...you wont know until you *both* try a little hard I think.