he left

[snappy81]

1 year and an half my husband left....we were having fights and he started to close up and so I did.He lost after few months his job and after a while he got closer to a collegue ,he said she was a friend but I was jalous as I didn't know if was more than that or just a friendship.He was always by himself and I offended him telling him he was a looser...and even worst ...so he left.He left with all the responsibilities and I didn't even have a good job so I was struggling.
We have been always in contact and slowly got back togheter ....but he was still saying that he didn't feel to want to be in a relationship again and to be tighted up.Then he said he wanted to come back but he was scared so he was coming hone for few days than living again to go to sleep to his mate house.I started to be scared as he would never decide a final decision.He was hanging around with his mates collegues and he told me that he was going at dinner with a female collegue...and there was nothing wrong with it as I should have trust him.i finally snapped told him I wanted to end it as he would not find time to hang around with me telling me he was busy.in all this time we would have aeen eachother just at home not going out ...he told me he was scared as he didn't feel comfortable to go out and dating as something could have gone wrong like fighting. ...then after I told hin to go away he apparently kissed someone else ....and now things are more ackward than before....what do I should think of him?he is still saying he loves me but doesn't know how to get back.

[snappy81]

No replies?help

[Adi9626]

Ill reply, I would say it's unacceptable. I would not be such a push over and I would be telling him that I would be going on a date with a lad that's younger than me that iv fancied for some time if I was u. I'm male so in my situation it would be a girl. I'd get her number and I'd actively give the same back and I would totally be open, honest and say, do you think this is acceptable behaviour? You trust me right? Start off by asking him to admit, try explaining how this will play out then you can only protect ur self by following this through. Do the same, give him his medican and see how he likes it. If he still finds other women then I'm sorry but you can't make the 100% of the relationship. Yes some relationships are 60-40% even 30-70% but you need his input too. You should do ur own thing and if ur both seeing other, well, I guess it's not going to work. Maybe he is too young mentally and you need to find someone who is emotionally ready to marry and settle down. I'm not saying be crazy or jealous. I'm not saying be mardy or needy. I'm not saying be a pushover or a game player. Don't play him. Just protect urself. Put urself first, u need him to give his input, his part of the relationship else there ant one. I'm sorry Hun, hope u don't think I'm being mean.

[Cerby]

Arrange to see a marriage counsellor to talk through your problems. If you're both serious about making it work, then you'll both agree to each other's requests.

[snappy81]

I did ask him so many times he said he cannot go in therapy as it will bring up things he does not want to talk about.

[snappy81]

Thanks Adi to reply to my post.I agree that I should not keep waiting.i did find a guy that I think is attractive and nice.I just feel weird about thinking to someone else but I guess I reached the limit and I need to be happy instead of frustrated.