Said love u to ex in front of current boyfriend !!!!

[hoho-hoho]

Please help ladies and gentleman!!

My ex - (I had a child with him - 21 yrs old) rang for his son, my son is not home so I thought I have a little chat with him and my current boyfriend is next to me. I thought that gives him an idea that there is nothing between us but just a chat. I don't usually chat a lot with him but a lot more this time. At the end of the phone call, I thought all I said was "talk to you, bye" but John (my current boyfriend) said to me "you said to him - 'love you' before you hang up"?? He says that he don't mind me having a conversation with my ex but saying 'love ya' at the end makes him think it is a little weird?! Which I think it is too. I was so positive I did not mention it, and kind of arguing with him that I did not say so. I was so positive that I said to John "OK I ring him now and asked him if I said that to him (Henry - son's father). And it was on speaker phone, Henry said I did!!! OMG why in the world would I say that, not even knowing it myself. So I have nothing to say but to apologise and explain that I don't even realise I said it and was so positive that I was being an idiot trying to prove him wrong. I am definitely not myself then. I am sad and disappointed and hope in every way that I would have not talked to my ex and can wind the clock back but that is impossible.

John said "I remember you said that I am a little weird to still talk to my ex-girlfriend after we broke up for over 18 years." He asked me how would I feel if he say he loves her at the end of their conversation. I said to John "I will leave you" if you said that to your ex, it simply isn't right. So I asked him what he wants to do now, I realise that I have been an idiot for doing so but the thing is that I don't even remember or know that I said that!! And I never says that to my ex 18 years now !!!! God help me!!!

I asked how he feels towards all this from now, John says. it will probably gives him doubt about things. I asked him if his feelings has alter for me from now. He says it is still the same. He also did say "I never say 'I love you' to anyone but only you" - yes not even his mum as his upbringing is a little different, they just simply do not practice so. I suppose I am very special, but how special am I now, I wonder. Would it still be the same, I am doubting us and probably feel it worst than him. I feels very stupid and am punishing myself, (it only happen tonight) I can't even eat, I feel sick!

I need to do homework and go to college and need to study, but I feel like I cannot do anything. Why in the world does this have to happen. How can I feel good myself now. Please help. (I am 49 yrs old - had two marriages - 2 sons - he has never been married and has no children)

What really a little weird is that, his ex in Victoria that he broke off with for 20 years ago, every time he goes back to Vic to sees his family, he still goes to visit her every year (Xmas) and have sex until the last 6 years he has not been. That is why I think it is weird, but he swears that it is only friendship and there is no love. He don't have any feelings for her. Can you as a guy comment why this so? Could that be true? Can you have sex with your ex when you see her even you do not have a girlfriend? for so long? Is it right? NO LOVE OR FEELING???

What should I do?

Obviously I do loves him and think great of him in many ways and same from him towards me. He keeps telling me almost every day he loves me?! How do I get over this? Could it be all the same again?

What would be best for me to do now?

Oh GUYS, please give me some sense, I've lost the plot.

[TablesandChairs]

It's not a big deal. I say 'love ya bye' at the end of conversations to my friends, boyfriend, mum, dad, sister...I might unwittingly say it out of force of habit to someone I shouldn't say it to but who cares? It's a slip - it doesn't mean anything, you've made it clear there's nothing between you and your ex. Not sure why all the paranoia - where's the trust in your relationship?

[Boisdevie]

Since I found the Lord I find that whenever times are tough or I need some guidance I just turn to Him and I quickly find the answers that I need.

[hoho-hoho]

Thanks Boisdevie - I try to search for Lord but Lord is not there, it simply do not work for me.

[hoho-hoho]

Tables and chairs you are great!! I love your answer, it is true. I do not mean it and since I said to my children every day, I just did it now knowingly like some people call their customers love, darling etc. hey how true is that. I love ya comment and love ya haha

[4 ratties]

Maybe it was just a habit..

[Wakeup]

"love" is thrown around far too easily these days. Everyone loves everyone through words even when they don't actually love them. **** people love pizza and their new bikini.
Personally, I think the word "love" is abused.

This is what struck out at me.

What really a little weird is that, his ex in Victoria that he broke off with for 20 years ago, every time he goes back to Vic to sees his family, he still goes to visit her every year (Xmas) and have sex until the last 6 years he has not been. That is why I think it is weird, but he swears that it is only friendship and there is no love. He don't have any feelings for her.

He goes home and ****s his ex but he's upset because you said "love ya" to an ex? WTF. Yea, whatever. pfffft.

[searock]

I think the sex with the ex thing was up until 6 years ago, then it stopped?

Anyway, OP, I really don't get why you're freaking out over this. You just said "love ya" as a goodbye automatic phrase, you didn't mean that you actually romantically love him. I'm sure your partner knows this. I think you're blowing what happened way out of proportion. Why?

[lisatalarico]

I think is not a big deal.
Just saying bye.

[atir12]

Yeah, I agree you're blowing the "love ya" thing out of proportion. It's just another way to say "see ya" and people are so used to it that it comes out of our mouths automatically. The important thing is that you know what you feel. Do you still have feelings for your ex? If the answer is "no", that's all that matters.

As for the sex thing, as far as I know, it's not that unusual. Some couples who have been together for a long time and separate but are still able to be friends can engage in sex after the separation because it's somebody they already know and it's just easier. But if the sex stopped some years ago, I think you should trust your boyfriend. Some people are just able to remain friends with people they slept with and it's not a big deal to them.