So she's not a virgin anymore...

[somethinglol]

This cute girl who just dated half a year, broke up, my long wait ended. I was happy for these two weeks, until I found out pretty solid proof she's not a virgin anymore. She's just 15 and is the last person I would've thought lost her virginity already. This makes me so ****ing sad... She experiences everything with her first bf, what new would I have to offer her? Pretty much nothing... I have never even kissed, barely hugged, never visited a girl, never had a girlfriend. We are completely on different level. Back in the good times it wasn't like this, she was a cute girl who was good in school, shy, friendly... I wanted to be with her so much. Have our both's first real kiss, first relationship... all that... I don't even have a ****ing moped or any other motor vehicle so I couldn't even take her anywhere...

Why did everything go like this... Why I couldn't have even a bit luck on my side? Just because I can't make the first move doesn't mean I must be alone and without any love...

Sorry about this angsty thread, but there must be at least one place where I can spit it all out...

[searock]

Uh... how does her not being a virgin anymore (which is totally normal btw) have anything to do with your "being alone and without any love" o.O?

So what if she's not a virgin? Most people aren't virgins, yet they find partners and love every day. It doesn't change who she is, sex is just something people do. You will understand when you do it yourself :-).

[Agnus]

she was a cute girl who was good in school, shy, friendly... I wanted to be with her so much

Don't worry. Just imaging how ugly she will be in 20 years and all affection will evaporate. Or do you like old fat pigs? You must be a wacko then.

[somethinglol]

Uh... how does her not being a virgin anymore (which is totally normal btw) have anything to do with your "being alone and without any love" o.O?

So what if she's not a virgin? Most people aren't virgins, yet they find partners and love every day. It doesn't change who she is, sex is just something people do. You will understand when you do it yourself :-).

They're adults, not kids like us. Well, it's not anyhow odd to lose your virginity in this age, but still, I never wanted anything as much as to take the virginity of the love of my life the same time I lose my own. Also, like I said, I would have never guessed SHE would lose it before many drinking and smoking and partying girls. She, the cutest girl I know. I remember just days before she started dating when I thought about telling my feelings to her, then other guy gets her, ****s her, does everything with her, and I'm left empty handed... Now I should experience shit which she has experienced already, and of course it's never as awesome as in the first time. And I don't only mean sex...

Though, when you think of it, evidence I'm referring to isn't that solid proof. But why would a girl hesitate answering a question "Have you ever had sex?"? At least I see no other reason to say "It's not kind of your business" and "People can make their own conclusions about that" than that she's ashamed on just saying "yes", in this age, with all the gossip and shit.

[searock]

I would have never guessed SHE would lose it before many drinking and smoking and partying girls.

Having sex is nothing like smoking, drinking and partying. A person can be shy and quiet and cute and serious, and still enjoy an amazing sex life. The two things are simply uncorrelated, at whatever age.

then other guy gets her, ****s her, does everything with her, and I'm left empty handed...

Do you realize how sexist that sounds? What do you mean, "another guy gets her"? He didn't "get" her, they had sex with each other. He didn't "f*ck" her, they had sex with each other. The fact that she had sex has nothing to do with what you have or don't have in your hands. Her having sex has NOT made her a different person - she is still very much the same person and nothing is stopping you from asking her out (unless she is this guy's boyfriend - and even then, it can't hurt to ask).

it's never as awesome as in the first time. And I don't only mean sex...

What else do you mean, then? I assure you, the first time you have sex is pretty much always FAR from awesome . It takes practice to get it right.

Though, when you think of it, evidence I'm referring to isn't that solid proof. But why would a girl hesitate answering a question "Have you ever had sex?"? At least I see no other reason to say "It's not kind of your business"

Oh god... maybe because it is none of your business? Maybe because she knows that you would judge her for having sex and she can't be bothered with that sort of crap? Why do you even care?! It doesn't change anything.

[dem862]

What do you think they were doing for six months? Playing pokemon? Teenagers are a ball of raging hormones. They were going at it like rabbits, every day, multiple times a day. Welcome to the real world. There is competition. And it is fierce. You better have something to offer, or you're gonna find yourself empty handed quite often. You have been living in a fantasy world. This is your wake-up call. Dump your delusions and read the writing on the wall. It says "you snooze, you lose." Now this girl is broken-hearted. She just lost the guy who took her virginity. That's a big deal for a girl. She needs a shoulder to cry on, and some rebound sex to take her mind off her troubles. If you don't get your ass in gear, you only have yourself to blame.

[searock]

She just lost the guy who took her virginity. That's a big deal for a girl.

Not for all girls. Seems to me like OP is the only one that's making a big deal out of her "loss of virginity".

[dem862]

Not for all girls. Seems to me like OP is the only one that's making a big deal out of her "loss of virginity".

Well, I have yet to meet a girl who put it on her to-do list right under "Get shampoo and conditioner". But I suppose it's possible.

[searock]

There's a whole intermediate spectrum between things that are "a big deal" and things that are inconsequential :-).

Either way, I don't think it has anything to do with gender: it simply depends on the person. In my experience, for example, I've met more guys for whom the "loss of virginity" was a big deal, than girls. It's not a gender thing.

[Agnus]

Not for all girls. Seems to me like OP is the only one that's making a big deal out of her "loss of virginity".

She was a cute girl and he wanted to pop her cherry himself. Now he's pissed off because no opportunity. Watch The Last American Virgin (1982).

[searock]

She was a cute girl and he wanted to pop her cherry himself. Now he's pissed off because no opportunity.

If anything, he should be glad he doesn't have to go through the annoying part of "am I hurting you, I don't know what to do, omggg" and can skip right to the good part, with a bit of guidance from her ;-).

[Agnus]

If anything, he should be glad he doesn't have to go through the annoying part of "am I hurting you, I don't know what to do, omggg" and can skip right to the good part, with a bit of guidance from her ;-).

Yeah, he can. But the thought that someone has already been in this pussy can drive mad. Fking gross.

[dem862]

There's a whole intermediate spectrum between things that are "a big deal" and things that are inconsequential :-).

Either way, I don't think it has anything to do with gender: it simply depends on the person. In my experience, for example, I've met more guys for whom the "loss of virginity" was a big deal, than girls. It's not a gender thing.

What I originally said was that "She just lost the guy who took her virginity. That's a big deal for a girl." I wasn't referring to losing her virginity. I was referring to "losing the guy who took her virginity." I think that is rather gender specific. And regardless of the circumstances of the break-up, a break-up is a pretty big deal for anybody. By that I mean a real "break-up" and not a gradual drifting away, which I think would not have been called a "break-up."

[VincenzoG91]

OP, you should break up with her and then seek out only absolutely pure virgins. Or invent a time machine and change her past. Or better yet, stop obsessing about virginity and accept her as she is. And if you ever date any other women, avoid asking them if they have had sex before, because you are unlikely to deal well with the truth.

[dickriculous]

I never wanted anything as much as to take the virginity of the love of my life

Does she still have her backdoor virginity? Maybe all is not lost just yet.