Thrusting timing and frequency advice needed

[Simpo]

So basically I'm fairly inexperienced in being on top when it comes to sex since my ex was always on top and in control but I recently met someone new and she prefers the guy to be on top. So basically my question is how do I be good on top

Should I be thrusting slow to begin with then gradually increase or just keep a good average pace or ? I have seen in porn and what not that they guy is usually thrusting quite fast to get the girl off but this is porn so not sure how accurate that is and there;s no way I could keep a fast pace like on the videos, I have even tried keeping a fast pace once with my ex but only lasted at that pace for about a minute and was close to making her o but didn't quite reach her o before mine went off. What sort of speed gets a girl going and helps her reach orgasm?

[Boisdevie]

It all depends on whether you have really small knob or not.

[Simpo]

well lets just say for someone with an average sized one

[searock]

I have seen in porn and what not that they guy is usually thrusting quite fast to get the girl off but this is porn so not sure how accurate that is

Not accurate at all, it's porn. You should never use porn as an example to follow.

What sort of speed gets a girl going and helps her reach orgasm?

It depends on the girl and on the chemistry between you two, besides no two times are the same. I think what almost always works without a doubt is being spontaneous. Do whatever turns you on the most. Sexual excitement is like yawning, it's contagious and if she sees you're enjoying yourself, she'll be turned on too (and viceversa). If you feel like going slow, go slow. If you want to speed it up, speed it up. We are animals, we are wired to get sex "right" by nature. Just stop rationally thinking and let your instincts take over... that's the best kind of sex .

Oh, I forgot to mention - obviously there has to be a strong connection between the partners and complete trust, otherwise it's hard to let yourself go.

[Simpo]

Thanks very much for the info appreciate it. But just out of curiosity is there any particular speed you think that you orgasm more? assuming going slightly quicker will increase the chance of orgasm or at least speed it up?

[Starnique]

For me personally, it doesn't depend on speed. It depends on how the guy is thrusting and how deep he is. If he is grinding in me and really working it, that makes me cum. I, normally will grab his waist and control the speed when I feel myself about to cum. It's how you move to work those spots.

[HeartIsAching]

The most important thing dude, is to pay attention to her. See what she responds to and doesn't respond to, and don't assume that what's working now will work for her 5 minutes (or 1 minute, or 30 seconds, for that matter) later. Pay attention to her, change up what you're doing frequently and watch her reactions. If you get a positive reaction for a while, then it starts to fade, start changing what you're doing until you hit on something she likes again... then repeat. You'll figure out what that particular woman likes and be able to pleasure her.

BTW - words like "Oh yeah baby, like that." are a huge clue.

Oh, and DON'T just rely on tempo - change angles, change your hip/leg motion, change positions etc. Lots of bad lovers think that the only modes are hard or gentle, fast or slow... it's not NEARLY limited to that.

[HeartIsAching]

BTW - this is also why I say that women that fake pleasure or orgasm are only hurting themselves. If you don't know what she really likes, how're you going to change what you're doing?

[dickriculous]

Solid advice in here. In addition to what others are saying, keep in mind that a lot of how much we enjoy sex is linked to how much our lover shows us he/she is enjoying it as well. That's why in porn you see the women losing all control of the euphoria that's pumping through them as they are getting ****ed, to turn on the men watching it. But what about the male actors? Ever notice how stoic, sometimes even bored looking many of them are? Not the best model off of which to base your own ****ing.

Sometimes during sex I will fall so deeply into the euphoria my gf and I are creating creating that I lose all control of my desire for her and begin attacking her like a wild animal and just ****ing devour her, and we both love it. The second part of that may or may not suit you and it may or may not suit your lover but the point to take away here is the first part - to let go and immerse yourself in the flow of ecstasy and passion. One of the things my gf brought up after the first time we had sex was how different I was from her ex - he (like many guys, apparently) was somewhat lifeless in bed. He wasn't bad in terms of lasting or in terms of doing certain things that created physical pleasure but he was too stoic and not energetic enough, like he couldn't really just let go and fall into his lust for her. I set myself apart from him (by accident, because honestly I was just doing what I do) by doing these things that he couldn't or wasn't willing to do. Thing is, I don't really think of myself as any special kind of stud in the bedroom or anything, but when I **** I erupt with every last bit of lust and desire for my lover in my being, and that makes a huge difference.

[HeartIsAching]

Solid advice in here. In addition to what others are saying, keep in mind that a lot of how much we enjoy sex is linked to how much our lover shows us he/she is enjoying it as well. That's why in porn you see the women losing all control of the euphoria that's pumping through them as they are getting ****ed, to turn on the men watching it. But what about the male actors? Ever notice how stoic, sometimes even bored looking many of them are? Not the best model off of which to base your own ****ing.

LOL, so true. I'm pretty sure everybody for two blocks around knows what my name is... and my wife's name too.