My bf cheated and I dumped him on his birthday

[BackUpOrGetStng]

How is being a slut any different than being labeled a player or a "sleaze"? They both refer to someone doing the same thing, and the reaction from the opposite sex is the same. Girls don't want to date players...

[searock]

Players are considered to be "winners", "alpha males", "lucky", "suave". Sluts are just sluts, denigrated by basically everyone.

[Kusheriere]

How is being a slut any different than being labeled a player? They both refer to someone doing the same thing, and the reaction from the opposite sex is the same. Girls don't want to date players...

Being a player can be taken as a compliment by other men and certain women but being a slut is usually made to degrade the woman (can be done by other women too) and it might then be hard for her to find a relationship as the rumors are spread.
While a player can play that ''Oh but the past is the past, what happens is I love you and have changed'' to many women until 1-4 of them accept him and his youthful past, a slut would have a harder time saying that to the men (in the end, though there is always one man that will eventually say yes to her, it's going to take her a longer time to find him) she dates.

Though the minority of people will choose players and sluts as relationship material, there is more chance that a player will find a long-term relationship faster (even marriage) than the slut. Though there are still women that don't like men that sleep around (I don't), we don't go to the extreme of saying ''It's a used bicycle''. We don't like men that sleep around because of their character and they are more likely to cheat but with men it's different. They are more into being purely visual and don't like imaging how many men she's been with.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

I understand what you're saying, but let's examine the slight difference.

Outside of the top whatever percentage of guys that women just lay down for, it is a lot harder for a guy to find a girl to sleep with than it is for a girl to find a willing participant. A girl can say, "I'm mad at my ex, I want to go to the bar and **** someone tonight", and she can. Maybe not the Casanova she wants to spend the rest of her life with, but she can find a dick to stuff in her booty. For the vast majority of men, it does not work anything close to that.

Kusheriere, your point of a slut's reputation hurting her relationship chances isn't an argument, because women don't want relationships with players either.

[HeartIsAching]

Frankly, it seems childish. Four months wasted for revenge? Should've just dumped his ass and moved on to begin with. The best revenge is living well. I know it burns my ex's ass that I'm happy and serene.

[Kusheriere]

Kusheriere, your point of a slut's reputation hurting her relationship chances isn't an argument, because women don't want relationships with players either.

True and that's why I stated it's only the minority that date them. Those are usually low quality girls. Same as the one man that accepts the slut as his gf. They are people that can't get any better or have issues and will settle for what comes in their way. In their mind, one is better than being single for years.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

You are making a huge generalization, and really have nothing to support it. You might be able to make assumptions about people who know them well and still date them, but even that is dicey territory. In any event, your last post has nothing to do with double standards.

[basilandthyme]

What does getting back at a cheater, someone that treated you like garbage has to do with being a good friend? I go by the saying of ''Don't do to others what you don't want them doing back to you''. If someone treats me good, I'll treat them nice in return. If someone treats me poorly, I'll give them crap in return.

Then I guess we're different. If someone treats me poorly, I cut my losses and move on. They sooner they are out of my life and forgotten, the better.

And I simply wouldn't want a friend who's the vengeful type.

[4 ratties]

You go girl ;-)

[searock]

BackUp, come on. You know that slut is a bad thing and player is considered with respect, admiration and envy by a lot of people. Hell, some people even pay to get lectures on how to become players.

That's the double standard right there: the two words mean the same thing, yet only one of them is universally negative and insulting. If they meant something different it wouldn't have been called a "double standard".

[Idainaru]

What he has done was terrible, and what you have done was even vorse. you both showed that you are imature, and most likely shallow people. He hurt you because of sex, you hurt him because of revenge (with 4 months plan).

[HDBadger]

What he has done was terrible, and what you have done was even vorse. you both showed that you are imature, and most likely shallow people. He hurt you because of sex, you hurt him because of revenge (with 4 months plan).

Agreed that they both acted immaturely.

As for the double standard thing, both men and women can be "sluts" and it's no better or worse when one sex acts "slutty" versus the other. A slut hooks up with people indiscriminately, without any regard for standards. Often the "slut" does it to help his or her self-esteem. There's nothing healthy about this, and both men and women do it. I knew plenty of guys in college who were labeled sluts because they would hook up with anything with a pulse, and they were made fun of incessantly.

A player, the way we use the word now (dumb name, in my opinion), is confident, charismatic, and dates/hooks up with high quality members of the opposite sex. A player is almost the exact opposite of a slut.

I've known plenty of female players in my life.

There's no double standard. If you're drunk and hooking up with the first person that talks to you every Friday night, that behavior is "slutty," no matter if you're a man or a woman.

I think slut is also a dumb word, by the way. Desperate is probably more accurate.

[michelle23]

good for you girl. f**k him. just tell him hes lucky you didnt get the chisel and hammer out while he slept

[michelle23]

badger i agree with you. there should be no double standards. but your wrong about one thing. players are not confident, they just pretend to be. underneath that ego is v fragile and riddles with insecurity

[Wakeup]

... lol ... I knew this thread would be good for a laugh or two. Tks Op.