GF cheating on me online

[Izafly]

Hi all. My first post.

So the main issue is the gf is sending naked pics of herself to some random online guy, and even emails him audio clips of her jerking herself off.

So little back story:

I have been with the gf for about 4 years, and we have lived together for about 3 years. We have had a great relationship, and we both greatly enjoy each other's company...or so I thought.

Slowly I have gained some weight, and so has she. As a result, I have become less active. Maybe 1-2 times a week if that as it gets exhausting. I have been losing weight,and so has she but she has been losing at a snail's pace. I lose perhaps a few lbs a week.

Last year I noticed she started acting a bit mysterious on her smart phone. Every time she would type something, she would point the phone away from me. This went on for a few weeks. I don't care if she types to people, but to have to turn the phone away makes one wonder.

I left it alone. One day I had to take a pic with her phone because mine was charging, and when I went to look at the pic, I noticed she had topless pics of herself in the phone. Umm...I have never seen these. I asked her about the pics, and she tells me she forgot to send those pics to me. Yeah okay. One day I went into the room, and she sprang from under the blanket as if she was talking to someone or doing something to herself. I asked her what she was looking for, and the typical answer of nothing was given.

At this point, I was really suspicious. While she was sleeping I decided to go through her phone. Sure enough she has been chatting with some guy, actually 2 guys and both have been exchanging pics with her. They send her pics of themselves and their privates. I even found emails of audio clips of herself as if she is jerking herself off that she sent to one of the guys. These guys routinely tell her dirty things via this 3rd party chat program, but it seams she doesn't chat much dirty things to them. They do have long drawn out convos about random things, too.

This has been going on with the 2 same guys about a year now. Not so much with one of them, but a lot with the other one. I left it alone to see how it fans out, and it just continues to move forward.

The interesting thing is that she wants to have a life with me. Just the other day we were discussing finances and the possibilities of affording a child and how she would like to get married someday. So it seams she wants to be in the long run with me.

Now, I know I shouldn't have gone through her phone. I'll probably get slammed for that, but can you blame me for continuously seeing suspicious things, and unconfirmed I was right?

Ever since I have discovered these things, my sex drive has gotten even lower. Sometimes we go a few weeks without doing it. It's like all I can think of is what she is doing behind my back. It's gotten so bad that i even find myself tracking the location of her phone when she tells me she has to be somewhere or do something. Not healthy at all. I'm not a crazy nut lol but come she has me second guessing everything she does now.

But then i started thinking....if she doesn't mind sharing then why should I? I am thinking this is the perfect opportunity to start hitting a swinger's club. Problem is I would really prefer not to till I dropped 50 something lbs which I am working on!

What do I want to do? I love her, and I'd love to share my life with her, but I want to know I'm not waisting my time, of course. And it seams she wants to spend the rest of her life with me.

So what should I do? Should I just play it out and take this to an advantage, or should I mention what I have seen in her phone? Also, she has this habit of not being very slick. She would sign in on my computer to check her emails, save the pw, close browser, and if i go back to email account pw is there and saved. I have confirmed she emails herself pics of these guys and their privates and saves them in an email folder. I almost want to say she is setting me up to see what I say, but I can't be that gullible. This all feels real between her and those guys.

[horndog]

How does a girl jerk herself off?

[lalalita]

If you stopped giving her sexual attention, that could explain why she began seeking it elsewhere.

[Izafly]

How does a girl jerk herself off?

Lol you know what I ment. Obviously, if I'm not giving her the attention she needs in that manner, then I can see how a human can seek out ways to fulfill herself. My problem is I'm now sure how to address what she has been doing behind my back.' Obviously you address the core of the problem by having more sex.

[lalalita]

It all boils down to whether this is a deal breaker for you or if this is something you could sweep under the rug.

[Valixy]

You don't seem to find this situation very comfortable or stimulating, if you feel hurt and even less attracted to her. Why would you think of swinger's then? I think that you should be honest with yourself first and then with her and address the issue properly. She has been unfaithful to you for a long time and your relationship needs a serious check up.

Is this the kind of relationship you really want or you just can't fight anymore for what you really want?

[Izafly]

The behind my back irritates me more than what she has been actually doing. Its the lying that gets me the most. I have an open mind and have no problem trying something like a swinger's club or finding a couple to have fun with if that is what she really wanted to do. It's something that has always been on the back of my mind.

[horndog]

It clearly sounds like you want to try a swingers club. If that's what you want to do then just do it.. If you don't like what your woman is doing then you either confront her or dump her but you don't use it as an excuse to become a swinger. That's just dumb.

[Boisdevie]

I really enjoyed the photos she sent me.

[lalalita]

I'm pretty surprised how well you're taking this. I would be devastated. You sound open to open relationships.

[Izafly]

Lol no I'm trying not to make it seam as what she is doing is the excuse to try the club. I love her, she loves me and we have had great times together. I'm just not sure if busting out with a "hey I know you lied to me" type of scenario is a good idea or not and if I should just let things be and ride the wave out to even more possible fun.

[lalalita]

Who cares what her reaction is? SHE is in the wrong and doesn't deserve you pussy footing around and sparing her feelings.

[Izafly]

I'm pretty surprised how well you're taking this. I would be devastated. You sound open to open relationships.

Exactly. I have plenty of patience, and I like to examine things first before blowing up. Don't get me wrong. I did get hurt in the beginning, but that's when I started thinking of how I can take advantage of the scenario instead of it being a downer. Hey you want to share, then lets go all the way and do a foursome or change out the players like at a club. Again it's the going about the lying and knowing what she has done that has me in a bind.

[smackie9]

Dude the only thing you can do is have open honest communication with her and discuss the deceit that you feel, and your options on how to go forward with this. Pretty simple.

[Izafly]

Yep guess I should tactfully open up, tell her what I know, and just take it from there.