I hate being the "average guy" at parties

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Everything post you write proves my point further.

I agreed with your point.

But can you answer the question..how many frat parties you been to?

Searock, when did I tell him to lie or trick anyone? I told him to get drunk and cop a feel.

[anonymous_a]

I agreed with your point.

But can you answer the question..how many frat parties you been to?

Too many to count.

[searock]

How is what I suggested that he do tricking anyone? I told him to get really drunk and start grabbing. What PUA bs did I suggest? That show was garbage.

Okay, my bad, I thought you were implying to use those "techniques" as well as to not see them as people and grope them like blow-up dolls (which I'm pretty sure no woman wants).

As for it not being a choice, it is. If you don't want to do something, don't do it. It really is that simple.

What if you aren't in the condition to be able to choose, though? What if you are so brainwashed by society, and not smart/strong enough, that you are unable to see that your behavior is actually harmful for yourself and others?

I also don't think it is inherently damaging to act like that, if the attention is what you want.

It may not be damaging to the individual that acts like that, but it is damaging in the bigger picture, because it perpetuates sexism.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Too many to count.

Me too. Not sure what your experience was, but at every campus I've been too, they are drunken debauchery with everyone trying to get some. By about 2 am its pretty much an orgy.

[anonymous_a]

Me too. Not sure what your experience was, but at every campus I've been too, they are drunken debauchery with everyone trying to get some. By about 2 am its pretty much an orgy.

Alcohol will do that. Doesn't mean everyone there is an idiot.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Okay, my bad, I thought you were implying to use those "techniques" as well as to not see them as people and grope them.

What if you aren't in the condition to be able to choose, though? What if you are so brainwashed by society that you are unable to see that your behavior is actually harmful for yourself and others, in that it perpetuates a warped mindset.

It may not be damaging to the individual that acts like that, but it is damaging in the bigger picture, because it perpetuates sexism.

Where in his post did the OP ask how he can change the gender dichotomy of our society? He wanted advice on how to get some...

Anyway, we all have a choice. That's like saying a poor guy who holds up a liquor store and shoots the clerk didn't have a choice because "society made them do it".

[searock]

Haha, I know, my "Ugh" wasn't directed at your advice in that regard (which may or may not work - all I know is that it wouldn't work for me or any of my female friends, not ever). I just find it appalling that people would actually encourage him to treat women like pieces of meat.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Alcohol will do that. Doesn't mean everyone there is an idiot.

Blame it on da Goose, blame it on da Henny, ah ah-ah ah ah-ah ah ah

Yeah, no, I didn't mean they were stupid because of their actions at the parties. They tend to be very easily led.

[karmacake]

Alright, it seems you guys are having quite the conversation here. Let's get a few things straight. I was drunk last night (not over the top, but enough) and I was high at the same time. So being crossfaded, I had decent conversations with the girls. But after 30 min of talking they just leave and move on. I always see them talking to other guys much longer and I feel that they don't like me, and are only attracted to the other dudes. It's because I try to go for the girls who obviously waaay better than my looks and I hate it. I just don't know what to do during parties when during the conversation I have a feeling that the girl isnt interested in me.

[anonymous_a]

It could be that they are just exploring. Some of them talk to you first, then move on, some of them talk to other guys then come to you. Have you tried asking what else they like to do? Like outside of school and parties? Like for example, one of them says they like the beach, ask them to go the beach! Or ask them what their fave restaurant is, and ask them if they wanna go. Ask what kind of food they like, (sushi?) and take them out! Picking up a girl is kind of like trying to sell something. Probe!! Ask questions to find out what they want and need, then offer related solutions.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

The main problem is you. If you're thinking the whole time that she's too hot for you, then of course you will bomb. That's why I said you should do other things with them like playing games, so you don't feel like you have to just talk her out of her pants. Have some fun, relax, maybe even just focus on having a good time instead of trying to get with them. Don't focus on them so much, and focus more on yourself. If you were talking for 30 minutes, that means you had time to put your name on the beer pong list. It also means there is something they liked about you, whether its attraction or not, we can't know, but you were able to hold their attention. How many of these girls' phone numbers have you asked for?

Searock, get over it. Trying to nail a sorority scheezer by wooing her with your knowledge of Dirac equations, during a frat party no less, is never going to work. Feeding her shots and grabbing her ass on the dance floor, will. These are the facts.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Ask questions to find out what they want and need, then offer related solutions.

WRONG!

Be fun. The worst thing you can do is cater to them..which it sounds like is what you've been trying to do. It's decent advice overall though extremely generic, but will rarely if ever work at a party.

Instead of asking what they want, tell them what you want... "Let's go put our name on the list", "I like this restaurant, have you ever been?".

See the difference?

[searock]

Searock, get over it. Trying to nail a sorority scheezer by wooing her with your knowledge of Dirac equations, during a frat party no less, is never going to work. Feeding her shots and grabbing her ass on the dance floor, will. These are the facts.

I'm not arguing with that, I'm just saying I don't think this kind of mindset should be encouraged (mindset, not behavior: there's nothing wrong with the behavior per se). Instead of "feeding her" shots, have a few drinks with her. Instead of "grabbing her ass", after making sure she's happy to do it, exchange sexually provocative contact with her. It's the same things, but in a different, non-sexist mindset.

OP, as I said, you should hang out with other types of people. There are no such things as "leagues" and no woman is "too good-looking" for you.

[searock]

Or ask them what their fave restaurant is, and ask them if they wanna go. Ask what kind of food they like, (sushi?) and take them out! Picking up a girl is kind of like trying to sell something. Probe!! Ask questions to find out what they want and need, then offer related solutions.

Hm that wouldn't actually work for me, the guy would come off as a of bit of a doormat. Then again, I don't like strangers who chat me up no matter what they say... so this is better than being arrogant at any rate. If it's a guy I already know or a friend of a friend or something like that (someone that has been introduced to me), the one thing that would make me the most interested in him is if he treated me first of all as a person he was getting to know. Doormats are a turn-off, arrogant douches are a turn-off, fake nice-guys are a turn-off... genuine honest confident guys that treat you as real persons and aren't afraid of you or trying to trick you or "woo" you are the best.

[michelle23]

Another twat brainwashed by watching american pie. Rolling my eyes. None of this crap would work on me. Grab my ass and ill elbow you in the face.