Saying he loves me, but he has a wife...WHAT TO DO????

[Jakk D]

Long story short...

Me and my mm have been bestfriends so to say, for a year now..he has been married to his wife for 2yrs, but with her for a full 5..when me and him met, he told me their situation right from the start, he said they were seperated and getting a divorce as soon as he got back to the states to finalize it and whatnot. he came home for a lil vacation in feb.(hes in the army and stationed in korea) and from the likes of what he said to me last nite i dont think him and his wife did the whole court appearance together to finish the deed up.

My mm went back to korea and i would say that at the beginning of march we started saying I LOVE YOU to each other..it wasnt a oh yea were bestfriends and i love you blah blah, like some friends would say..but it was more on a romantic level, so to say..well we say it to each other everyday that he emails, ims, and calls..I tried to prolong this and not catch feelins for him until he was out of his marriage, but i am just confused about things..

first question..do opposite sex friends always say i love u to each other everyday they see each other? (thats if they are just friends)

secondly...is this like an emotional affair between us? i mean being that he is seperated from his wife and whanot, but does it still count as a emotional one?

thirdly..what should i do, being that he is married and seems to be having probs with his wife?

last but not least...is it really considered infidelity if you have sexual or emotional relations while married but u two are seperated?

[Illusional]

haha you're only trying to bend the rules, but you know deep down inside that it's still considered cheater. i think you already know the answer, but if you don't.. then here goes.

1, opposite friends never say i love you, unless they want something more.

2, this IS your emotional affair, as long as he is still married to his wife.

3, you should wait until he's finalized his divorce before taking anything farther.

raverboy

[artyemi]

I agree with everything illusional said.

Stay away till he finalized his divorce.

[ALovelyLady86]

This is the EXACT same thing my stupid room mate is going through with a man who has been "divorcing" for 2 years now.

I will only say one thing...
The other day he said to my father and I in the garage that he will NEVER leave his wife no matter what Stacy wants.

This coming from a man who is over here EVERY day and really, if you didnt know he was married, youd swear he was pretty crazy about Stacy.

I'm sorry but if youre naive enough to believe this man loves you... go for it you deserve each other. Thats how I really feel about it....

The nice half of me says... He's a cheating jerk and you need to find someone who wont blow smoke up your butt!

[Jakk D]

i agree with everybody completely and if i was someone else seeing this same situation posted i would tell them the same advice u all are saying to me..guess u gotta hear it from somebody whos lookin in at something to finally somewhat get the picture..

ive been doing alot of thinkin since the last time me and him talked..he called me last nite, but i was too tired to pick up..and he left me im's which i answered...he was talkin about his wife..and well like a good citizen i gave him advice on what to do..not advice to leave her, but good quality advice to stay and work things out with her,etc..

i think he just says the I love you, because of the love that is missing or watever between him and his SO..its like i do the things that she doesnt do, i send him letters, phone cards, care packages,etc..and she doesnt nothing..so maybe he tries to justify saying i love u to me with that kinda stuff, i dont know..

but yea ive done my crying for the nite and i came to tha same conclusion as each one of you that replied did, that i should let him work it out with his wife..and that i should cut out the i love you to him,etc..so the next time me and him speak, ill let him know how i feel and just be done with this, and take this as a lesson learned