Why do I always screw up with girls? What do I do wrong?

[Andy41298]

Every time I meet a new girl that I develop feelings for, they end up hating me for reasons I don't know why. This recent girl that I liked and still like was told by one of my "loyal" (not really) friends that I liked her. Oh yeah and I didn't tell her that I liked this girl, she said I make it way too obvious that I like her by showing it through body language. She never said she told the girl I liked her but I'm not that stupid and figured it out pretty quick that she told her about me liking her more than a friend. Anyways the girl I like got ticked off for some reason God knows why and is now "mad" at me. I use the air quotes because another one of my friends told me that she said it herself so I can't be too sure about it. Anyways now that you know my story with this, why do I always screw up with girls when I'm a nice guy to them and don't seem to do anything wrong?

[searock]

Wait, so you were "friends" with this girl you developed feelings for? Never make "friends" with a person you are attracted to. Ask them out on a date instead.

[Ginger2013]

Some girls act angry when a guy shows interest because they don't feel the same way about the guy, they want to be clear that they don't like you back. It's very immature but I've seen it happen often. I don't think you did anything wrong from what you've written, just picked the wrong girl. But, do you make it really obvious by staring, trying to always talk to her etc? That can be annoying and lead to a girl getting ticked off too.

[pcmaster]

You dont do anything wrong because you dont do anything right. Do things that takes caurage to do and risky things so you will progress.

[basilandthyme]

how old are the girls you're speaking of? Maturity (or lack of) could play a role here

[Andy41298]

Some girls act angry when a guy shows interest because they don't feel the same way about the guy, they want to be clear that they don't like you back. It's very immature but I've seen it happen often. I don't think you did anything wrong from what you've written, just picked the wrong girl. But, do you make it really obvious by staring, trying to always talk to her etc? That can be annoying and lead to a girl getting ticked off too.

My friend says she sees me staing at her a lot and I guess she notices it too. I don't seem to make it obvious by I guess I do. Is there a way I can fix this problem?

[Andy41298]

how old are the girls you're speaking of? Maturity (or lack of) could play a role here

Everyone that I mention is in high school. 10th grade for specification

[Ginger2013]

My friend says she sees me staing at her a lot and I guess she notices it too. I don't seem to make it obvious by I guess I do. Is there a way I can fix this problem?

I'll tell you honestly, one time when I was working, there was a computer tech guy that just wouldn't stop staring at me. He said I was just in his field of vision, but I felt really grossed out by him because every time I looked up, his eyes were on me, it was creepy and made me feel uncomfortable. I was very aggressive with him to try to get him to stop, because asking him to stop didn't work. Eventually I had those room dividers put in for some privacy. I'm not saying you're at that extreme, but if she notices you staring a lot it probably makes her feel uncomfortable. You have to make yourself aware of it and just stop it.

[pcmaster]

Dont stare if you dont talk with her. That just creepy. To stare and do nothing - it freaks girls out and they become agressive. If a girl senses you like her but you dont even talk to her like friend then any girl will become angry. Weakness is a turnoff, in your case passivness is a turnoff cause it a typical females quality. Be more outgoing and be sure you say to girl that you like her before your friends do it.

[btide15]

Wait, so you were "friends" with this girl you developed feelings for? Never make "friends" with a person you are attracted to. Ask them out on a date instead.

On the contrary, becoming friends with a girl first can be beneficial as you can learn her likes and dislikes (I'm not talking about her preferances in men, obviously). If you know certain things about her you can surprise her by bringing up a topic that she can relate to. Knowing is half the battle!

Now for your staring problem, all you have to do if she catches you is smile, walk over and strike up a conversation! Be ballsy (if you want to call it that) and initiate the conversation!

And i agree with the person who said tell her you like her yourself, before your friends get to it.

Also, youre only in 10th grade! If you don't get a specific girl, youve still got years to get another one. Dont waste your time on a girl whos going to act immature and get mad at you for having a thing for her. If anything she should be happy as crushes are technically a compliment.

[searock]

On the contrary, becoming friends with a girl first can be beneficial as you can learn her likes and dislikes (I'm not talking about her preferances in men, obviously). If you know certain things about her you can surprise her by bringing up a topic that she can relate to. Knowing is half the battle!

Eh, not really. If you become friends with a girl for the purpose of getting her to like you romantically, it's simply not gonna work. If you like a girl, you should ask her out, not try to make friends with her.

[Andy41298]

I agree with your point because if I get to know her then me and her would be more comfortable with each other and would be able to understand each other.

[searock]

I agree with your point because if I get to know her then me and her would be more comfortable with each other and would be able to understand each other.

Here it is then, this is where you screw up. You shouldn't try to "make friends" with a girl you like. Ask her out on a date, go on dates with her and if you two are compatible you will gradually become more comfortable with each other and you will be able to understand each other.

[pcmaster]

Its good to become friends with girl before going further. Might save lots of surprises later on. But your problem is not directly there. The problem is that you want to stay in your comfort zone. When real progress is made by taking the risks and not playing it safe not waiting for perfect moments and just being all the way nice and gloomy. I doubt you even become friends with your sympaties because of lack of action(talking). Again one more benefit of becoming friends with a girl is ability to talk which is very importand later on when many relationships fail cause of simple lack of comunication. If you happen to stuck in friendzone then its more imaginative cause all you have to do is show some desire escalate and show some sexual agression. Thats how you get to next level. If happens that girl rejects your attempt then she will respect you even more cause you proved that you taking her seriously and shes hot.
If you dont get our of friendzone or she dont respect you after your attempt then perhaps you was being "nice". Like putting shaking arm on her knee or kissing her... on a forhead lol. When nice guy is making escalation its a disaster. What actually helps to avoid that is a natural sex crazed look in eyes which is impossible to misunderstood. Mind projection tru eyes when you think only about one think. You might not even think but pilled energy comes out from everywhere including eyes.

[Andy41298]

Something that I would like to know is that I saw "staring at her is annoying to a girl and makes them aggressive" mentioned a few times. My friend says she sees me staring at the girl a lot but I don't remember doing it. So I think I do subconsciously. How can I fix this without making it obvious that I'm trying to avoid her?