How do I fix things?

[DoomsDay]

My ex (15) and I, (16) have been friends since we where in the fourth grade. We also now have a complicated relationship. Twice we have broken up and gotten over each other, and then something draws us back in. Last time, it was over something petty and the relationship was strained because we hardly saw each other, even though we both loved one another very much. And here we are again in this "circle" we have had for years now, and we are both VERY nervous about it. She's scared of getting hurt all over again and I don't blame her at all. But things are very different now, I have bought a car, we can go on dates and our situation has improved, yet we're both still terrified. She has been thinking about taking a break from it all. She acts hot and cold most of the time, and she has been acting weird as of late, yet she always shows a lot of interest. I plan on attempting a kiss this Monday. All of this crud keeps me stressed out so much it isn't funny. Any help at all would be appreciated, this girl means everything to me.

[basilandthyme]

What things have you done in the past which have caused her hurt?

[DoomsDay]

We broke up because I was too distant the second time, and the first I don't quite remember.

[smackie9]

That tells me you are too neglectful in your relationship with her.....you don't pay enough attention to her needs and you lack understanding her emotionally. So I can see why it falls apart on you all the time. You need to be more attentive, sensitive and treat her like you really want to be with her. Girls need to be romanced and feel appreciated.....you have to put effort into it everyday.

[DoomsDay]

Yeah, I know):

Even though I texted her nearly every day, and always told her that I loved her, we hardly physically saw each other that year. It started to effect her and I, and we got mad at each other more. I have always had problems showing emotion properly since early in my childhood, and I honestly want to be everything I can possibly be for her.

[BeeOne]

One thing seems very clear - you want to be a better guy for this girl! So give it a try... never wonder how it might have been.

good luck!

[pcmaster]

When you go on a date then dont expect outcome or set goal for a date. For example like kiss her. If you set this goal it will be harder to relax and enjoy moment, think about how to have fun. If kiss happens it happens but dont make ultimatum for yourself cause things have to go with a flow rather than be planned.

[jcm]

Women hate conflict, so don't issue conflict. Go on a date, listen more and don't preach.

[DoomsDay]

I never really expected any kiss, to be quite honest. I just like to be hopeful so that I am in a really good mood when I go to see her tomorrow. It's a weird way for me to be positive, I know. But it works, right?

[pcmaster]

Yeah being positive is everything. Good thoughts thats what gives energy(good sleep and food too helps with this). And you and her gona be there and whats a party? Its where the people are so why not enjoy time together and have fun?

[DoomsDay]

Well, looks like I don't have to be positive anymore.
I saw her today, and it was great... Later she sends me this.

i need you to go away, today i felt myself falling in love with you and I can't let myself be shattered again, I need you to let me go because I'm feeling myself braking down and I'm scared. I promised myself I wouldn't be in love with you but I am. I feel like my heart and my brain are killing each other and this is the only way i see it

Now I'm REALLY hurting.

[pcmaster]

LOL stupid bitch. When you love someone but leave its when the conflict between mind and heart starts. Its a huge mistake and thats why this conflict happens because brains know that its safer to stay away but heart cant be fooled and hurts for long time. This was not your fault. You both are young(green) but it was her who left the kichen.

In your place I would revenge and fck up her mind complety by saying something like this: "GirlX, I just wanted to let you know that I was wrong and didnt value what we had together. I Hope you will forgive me someday. You dont have to end up with me, I'll never expect that. Im just sorry."

But seriously get over her man. Look out for girls with healty heart and brains who dont run away once start to feel love. Stupid thing is you both never took best what love have to offer - never really kissed. I bet you spend 10 times more in fantazies then eachother hands. It was just a dream so no point to feel pain now. Its just stupid and imaginative.
With next girl you gona be more straighforward and confident because of this expierience.

These videos will help you to think positive about future, you gona meet much better girls than her - no doubt about that.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K8Exlo4E5v8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5i1xKhTf4HM

[Ginger2013]

Well, looks like I don't have to be positive anymore.
I saw her today, and it was great... Later she sends me this.

i need you to go away, today i felt myself falling in love with you and I can't let myself be shattered again, I need you to let me go because I'm feeling myself braking down and I'm scared. I promised myself I wouldn't be in love with you but I am. I feel like my heart and my brain are killing each other and this is the only way i see it

Now I'm REALLY hurting.

Sorry you're hurting. She was probably also devastated the two times you broke up and doesn't want to go through it again. Take some time to heal your heart a little, then go out and find another girl to have some fun with!

[DoomsDay]

This is one of those things that are hard to recover from.. I love her so much..

[Ginger2013]

This is one of those things that are hard to recover from.. I love her so much..

Of course, we've all been through it, some of us too many times to want to even remember. It does hurt, I'm going through it now. I had to leave my bf because he was verbally and emotionally abusive. I still love him, I really thought we'd be together until we were old and grey. Sometimes we have to just accept things because there is no way we can control or change the situation. You have to allow yourself to be sad and hurt, but not too long, because you're young and you'll have plenty of fun with lots of different girls, trust me.

When I was 15 I was seeing a 17 year old, gosh I was in love with him...I suspected he was cheating on me, but I never asked. One day we met at our usual hangout and he said "I can't see you anymore because I'm seeing "so and so" and I respect you too much to hurt you." In hindsight, it was quite mature for him to do that and be so honest with me. But at the time, I thought I would NEVER meet anyone like him again, nor did I think I would ever find any guy who would ever love me. I cried for weeks...but time helps, keeping busy, talking on forums anonymously, and also keeping little to no contact with the person who dumped you. I promise you'll get over it, but you need to get through the rough part right now.