Girlfriend is extremely gullible

[paze]

My girlfriend is gullible to the point of it being a problem in our relationship. In the start I didn't mind it too much seeing as we were just getting to know each other, but now that we are an actual couple it hit me like a brick...She actually believes all these things and she's going to stick by her 'stupid', opinion come hell or high water.

For example, she doesn't believe in the theory of evolution. She believes pork is tainted, not because of religious reasons mind you, but because her grandmother once told her something about it being so.

I worked as an insurance salesman a few years back, so I'm quite well into how insurances work and one day we start debating how they work and lo' and behold, she has a (extremely faulty) opinion and I try to explain to her the reality of the situation. It's impossible. Her grandmother once told her something about insurances and that is the holy truth.

Today we were making pancakes and I wanted bacon with mine, so she has the dough on the table next to the frying pan and she actually, physically removes the dough when I cook my bacon because it would somehow "taint" her dough. She placed the dough in an even more stupid position where evaporated grease particles were actually more likely to land after condensing but never mind that..It's just really getting to me. I'm studying mathematics and as an aspiring scientist, this is extremely hard for me to tolerate. I love her very much but this is becoming a huge issue...I don't even know what I am asking here...Maybe I just wanted to vent out a bit. Thanks.

[Frog Princess]

What types of things do you have in common?

[smackie9]

You can complain all you want, but it will never change her, but sure a shit you can change GFs......you seem like a well educated guy....it's a no brainer here what you should do.

[basilandthyme]

A guy who's got a math/science brain is just not going to work with a girl who believes in fairy tales and old wives tales.

Find someone who's an intellectual match.

[ParadiseLost]

Is her grany still alive?

Man needs a women who understands him and loves him a little. Women needs a man who understand her a little and loves her a lot.

Maybe she just stuck in childhood or her grany have more authority than you. If shes not gona understand you and you not gona love all the stupid things she does then theres no way in being perfect couple.

[michelle23]

So you have disagreed on a few things? Big deal. Most couples do. She doesn't agree with everything you say and stands her ground on things she believes in. Sounds like you have a strong woman there. Would you rather she kissed your ass and followed you around like a lost sheep and always agreed with everything you say?

I don't think any of the things you mentioned are deal breakers tbh.. Will need more info in order to think shes not worth it.

[Stickleback]

So you have disagreed on a few things? Big deal. Most couples do. She doesn't agree with everything you say and stands her ground on things she believes in. Sounds like you have a strong woman there. Would you rather she kissed your ass and followed you around like a lost sheep and always agreed with everything you say?

I don't think any of the things you mentioned are deal breakers tbh.. Will need more info in order to think shes not worth it.

It could, however, end up being an issue the longer the relationship goes on. I don't think its necessary for a relationship to be intellectual equals, but having diametrically opposing viewpoints do speak to conflicts that are potentially to come.

[michelle23]

It could, however, end up being an issue the longer the relationship goes on. I don't think its necessary for a relationship to be intellectual equals, but having diametrically opposing viewpoints do speak to conflicts that are potentially to come.

I think as long as they agree on the important things (morals, values, life goals, etc) and both love each other equally and respect the others opinion, it shouldn't be a big deal really. The things they are disagreeing on are not important. "I don't want bacon touching my pancakes" I wouldn't either coz they are greasy and I doubt grease and pancakes are nice together lol...

I agree a person who refuses to budge on their opinion and not flexible can be a pain in the ass but if this has just happened a few times over minor things-then I wouldn't be quick to end it.

I'll add most couples go through a power struggle and molding stage where they can drive each other mad at times especially in the first year. Its all part of falling in love. In the honey moon phase, you look at each other through rose tinted glasses and think you are both perfection, they you realize holy crap this person has flaws, those flaws irritate you, you argue over them, then you both try to change a little for each other and for the relationship to work and if you get past that stage-you generally accept each other and love each other with warts and all.

Obviously if those flaws are too big for OP-then he will break up with her when he is sure he cant get passed it

Me and my bf don't always agree on everything but we respect each others opinion and can agree to disagree without it turning into an argument. Example; When I cook lasange I drain the fat/grease out of the mince as i think it is disgusting. My bf thinks I am getting rid of the flavor in it and I shouldn't do that but I told him I will leave a little juice to keep him happy and we can add extra herbs etc to it for more flavor. Win-win

[TablesandChairs]

I dated a guy who was...dumb, to put it mildly. He didn't know anything about anything and what he did know was generally wrong. We really couldn't talk about much - no current events, no politico-social issues...He actually thought a turkey was a male chicken. He also thought communism was a country.

Anyway, intelligence needs to be compatible in my opinion, unless you're just happy to placate her and accept her 3-year old view of the world.

It's no big deal that she doesn't like pork for whatever reason and so forth...but if she's genuinely thick in the head...different story.

[dem862]

Your problem is your ego.

[TablesandChairs]

By the way - the theory of evolution is a theory. People don't *have* to believe it - it's the most plausible explanation we have but a lot of people prefer a different view so it's not the end of the world.

As for pork - I don't eat it either, I find the taste gross. My grandmother once mentioned that pig meat had fecal matter in it...I believed that for ages lol

Anyway, there's a difference between genuinely stupid and just having a few silly beliefs here and there. You need to find out which category she fits into - if it's the former, relax - you don't have to prove you're right all the time, even if you are. If it's the latter, well...that sucks.

[paze]

So you have disagreed on a few things? Big deal. Most couples do. She doesn't agree with everything you say and stands her ground on things she believes in. Sounds like you have a strong woman there. Would you rather she kissed your ass and followed you around like a lost sheep and always agreed with everything you say?

I don't think any of the things you mentioned are deal breakers tbh.. Will need more info in order to think shes not worth it.

This is a very good point and I don't believe that these are deal-breakers. I'm just very annoyed by her refusal to accept my, not only plausible, but absolutely logical theories on some of these seemingly trivial issues.

For example, she says: "Pork is tainted because I heard [from my grandmother] that if you leave it out, maggots will infest the meat".
My rebuttal: -"Pork is not any more 'tainted' than other meat, seeing as maggots will infest any type of meat left out".
Her conclusion: "I still think it's disgusting and I've heard it from multiple people that it's bad".

This drives me insane...

[michelle23]

LOL I think you are probably a very logical and practical person which is fine. I am too but you just need to respect that not everyone is that way. Any bacteria on food is killed when cooked at a certain temperature (160°FE I think) I studied HACCP and used to work in a deli and we had to check the food (especially poultry to make sure it was over 74 degrees (if I remember correctly) when it came out of the oven.

Again these are silly little disagreements. If you said you want kids in ten years and she said she never wants kids-that would be a deal breaker obviously or if she was adamant that she has to get married in the next 12 months and you don't want to-that would be a deal breaker. Try not to let it get to you so much.

If she is extreme in her opinions and does this all the time about every little thing then I can understand why that would be really annoying. My bfs best friend thinks he knows everything - and I mean EVERYTHING and he gets on my nerves sometimes. The other night we were discussing my bfs work contract which has multiple errors on it and I told him not to sign it until they correct it and don't agree to anything that he is not happy with. I have studied HR and legal workers rights in a lot of detail but his friend insisted he knew better saying that they don't have to change this or that etc which gets on my nerves when I know I am right but I just let it go. If it was just one thing it would be fine but its everything. He always thinks he knows best no matter what we are discussing and its usually a one sided conversation with him just talking 90% of the time..

I couldn't be with someone like that. They would drive me insane. LOL

[Jffs24]

Sometimes stupidity can be cute as well as annoying -- if she can't make you smile while being her dumb self and you only see red out of annoyance time to move on!
Once you've lost patience with someone you once loved, hard to get it back.

[HeartIsAching]

By the way - the theory of evolution is a theory. People don't *have* to believe it - it's the most plausible explanation we have but a lot of people prefer a different view so it's not the end of the world.

As for pork - I don't eat it either, I find the taste gross. My grandmother once mentioned that pig meat had fecal matter in it...I believed that for ages lol

Anyway, there's a difference between genuinely stupid and just having a few silly beliefs here and there. You need to find out which category she fits into - if it's the former, relax - you don't have to prove you're right all the time, even if you are. If it's the latter, well...that sucks.

Obviously you misunderstand the difference between a hypothesis and a theory.

Gravity is also a theory. Try arguing with that.