Am I being too sensitive to his MIA?

[Vanna]

It may be obvious to you all but I need your comments:

I met this guy online and we hit it off immediately. He is 45 and I am 36. He was upfront about his expectations of a LTR and starting a family. He claimed that we match and we had a lot in common. We texted a lot and met for a few times during our first 6 weeks of encounter.
Then onto the seventh week, he brought up that we were "together", but he didn't exactly say we were a couple and I thought it was too fast but we were definitely dating. He said that he understood and wouldn't rush me. He was still texting me in the next couple of days but I was sensing something different. And then he didn't contact me for 3 days. When he texted me again, I asked him if he was still looking and he said no, he claimed his heart had me only. He asked me why and I told him he still went on the dating site we met and then he told me something like his subscription was expiring…
And then I didn't hear from him for the next 2 weeks so I sent a message canceling our plan to see a play two months later. There he responded asking me why and I held out for a few days thinking to move on but I replied thinking I should be polite and told him that his 2 weeks of silence led me to believe that he wasn't interested anymore… He texted me more sounding baffled and I didn't reply any of his till a few more days went by wishing him good luck on his new job. Up till then, I knew he was switching jobs but the problem was that he was still texting other people, updating his MSN status and dating profile. He kept asking me if I missed him and behaved as if nothing was wrong and said that we would be going to see the play together in September. I haven't heard from him for the last few days.

So I am really confused. I still like him but he is such a sweet talker. Should I move on and cancel the play again? He is not making plans for us except the play I invited him to see which is over a month away… Or he is too stressed with his new job and needs space?

[basilandthyme]

Vanna, if he was really keen on you, he'd move heaven and earth to be able to see you.

I don't know if he's dating others or if he's too stressed or something else....but I do know that you're not as high a priority as he says you are. I suggest you end this and move on.

[michelle23]

Forget about him. Block him and focus on meeting someone else.

Hun you need to be ruthless if your trying online dating. Talk to 10 different guys at once, spend a few days talking, go on a date as soon as possible, get to know him a little, if hes not up to standards say NEXT and go on another date with guy number two etc.

You have to sift through the garbage quickly. You will meet all sorts of messed up people online and if you want to find Mr. Right at your age-you wont find him if you focus on one at a time and go at the pace of a turtle.

Also I have heard it is worth it to pay for a good dating site. Forget the free ones. If you want to meet someone serious who is looking for love, you have a better chance on a site that you need to pay for.

Have a few rules:
1/. Forget men who don't live within 40 miles
2/. Don't waste time on anyone who makes excuses, who is too "busy" to meet you or who makes you doubt his intentions
3/. Don't sleep with any guy unless you know for sure you are on the same page
4/. Once you are ready to commit to someone, talk about both of you deleting your dating sites BEFORE you have sex and have the exclusive, committed talk.
5/. Do not trust anyone too quickly. Try to meet his family or friends before you commit and even do a background check or type his name into Google and see what comes up.

Go on ten dates with ten different men-you will surely have some luck and meet one that ticks all the boxes. If not try another ten. Good luck

[Vanna]

Thank you for your comments. He sent me a message calling me "his woman" last night but I know what to do now—be ruthless.

[michelle23]

Did you tell him its over?

[TablesandChairs]

He sounds like a typical sweet talker - all words, no action. Never base everything on what you're told, go by actions because they don't usually lie. If they promise you the world but can't seem to make any time for you - it's lies. If he calls you 'his' but doesn't keep in any sort of regular contact and is still updating dating profiles and statuses etc etc - then you have your answer.

You're not his priority so don't make him yours.

[Vanna]

I just deleted his contact. Do you think I should do tell him?

[michelle23]

Nah im sure he will get the message just block him and start moving on. Hes a player and you dont owe him an explanation.

Happy dating and i hope you find mr perfect

[Vanna]

Thank you!