GF insists on keeping in contact with her ex!

[spitfire123]

Having a serious fight with my GF at the moment.. its been on and off for weeks now..

She cheated on her previous BF with this guy and then they started dating for 1 year.. now 2 years on she is in close contact with him via facebook. The day I met her she was hanging out with him as friends and we started to date then.. I believe they were just friends at that point but she did tell me that she was very hung up on this guy for 1-2 years but was completely over him now. Thing is I do trust her but its natural to feel angry when I notice this going on, right?

I'm obviously not happy about this because if she cheated with him once and then dated him for a year who's to say it wont happen again. I do kind of trust her but I don't know how I should act or feel about her being such good friends with the guy that she cheated on her previous BF with..

A. Give her the ultimatum, say if you are going to keep in such close contact with him we're over.
B. Forget about it, don't mention his name again and let her continue chatting to him on FB, text or whatever..
C. Other - what the hell should I do.. how should I approach this and how would you feel in this situation?

As it stands the relationship is pretty serious. We have traveled the world together and plan to move in together in 2 months.



P.S. About 6 years ago my own ex was in a serious relationship with a new guy. Me and her used to text over and back a little and we also met for dinner once.. He had no problem with it.. even though when they started seeing each other she cheated on him with me and he knew about it.. am I just being too jealous?

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Don't make an ultimatum. Break up with her, and tell her it's because of their contact, so she sees you're really serious and not just blowing smoke. If she decides to cease all contact then give her another chance. If not, keep her around until you find a new girl, then drop her.

Don't take her seriously or invest anymore emotionally until this is resolved.

[michelle23]

Break up with her. She shouldn't be this close to any guy if shes in a relationship let alone this close to her ex! There is a reason she wants to keep him around and its not because they are just "friends".

[pcmaster]

even though when they started seeing each other she cheated on him with me and he knew about it.. am I just being too jealous?

Karma is coming back man. There is no escape.

[anonymous_a]

Normally I don't have a problem with girls and guys being friends, but this situation is different and unacceptable. She should see and understand why it makes you uncomfortable, and she should respect you and your relationship enough to cut contact with this dude, if that's what you want.

Have you expressed how uncomfortable you are with the situation? Definately talk to her about it, and if she insists in staying friends with him, then break up with her. It's just a matter if time before she gets too close with him again.

[afroman]

Don't even bother with posing this as a problem to your relationship, you don't want to get mixed up in this ordeal. Just tell her it's not working out for you and you think you're both better off as just friends or something. Find a lady with less drama. If you have to make something as simple as this a "rule" to her, she's probably clueless and these problems are going to keep recurring. Find a woman with common sense.

[VincenzoG91]

Don't move in with her, that will just make things complicated when you eventually discover that she is cheating on you. She has probably been "around the world" with other guys, too, so to speak.

[anonymous_a]

Oh yeah, definitely don't move in with her. That will just make things that much more complicated.

[IslandScorp]

First, don't move in together - big mistake. Second, even if you laid down rules and gave her an ultimatum, just the fact that you have to do that makes me question the strength of this relationship. If she loves you, wouldn't she be more concerned about your feelings and willing to cut her ties with an "ex"? And even if she agrees to your ultimatum, who's to say that she won't be doing it anyway behind your back? Plan on watching her and monitoring her 24/7? There's no such thing as "kind of trusting" someone. In light of your own confession, though, I can't help but think that @pcmaster might be right about karma.