Hey guys,
I need some insights.
My bf and I been together for 8 years(we live together for about a year and a half or more). Recently, he decided that he wants to split up cuz we were having issues recently. I refused to let him go, but agreed to give him space. So he decided to stay, but cleared to me that he thinks our relationship is hopeless as of right now already and that he's not happy "as of right now". All he says about the negative things is just " as of right now". It hurts, but I'll take it, since he said he really do care a lot about me though his love for me is not the same as it was 2-3 years ago. It was painful. When I was a lil calmed down, I asked him, when he told me that i've been treating him differently, was it bcuz I wasn't touching him and all over him the way i used to these past weeks and he didn't like it that i ignore him? and he said, "I guess so". I thought by me giving him space, leaving him alone is what he wanted, but he didn't like it. I'm soo confused. He wants space and when i ignore him, he doesn't like it. Me ignoring him is literally leaving him alone but I talk to him when he asks me questions or he shows me stuff.
I am very heart broken, but he stayed with me, we said, we'll take it slow day-by-day. We seem back to normal, we talk like we used to about our day, he kisses me when he drops me off in the morning and when he picks me up after. He still spoons me when we go to sleep and gives me a kiss good night (all this without me asking), we take showers together, we eat, cook together, the way we were, literally. Things that we haven't done is we don't have sex (of course, that's understandable) and he doesn't slaps my ass in the morning anymore.
Now i'm really confused. A few days ago, he only says, "As of right now, I really think we should just go our separate ways. Cuz as of right now, I'm not happy anymore. Though what we had over the years was Phenomenal (he told me that I was the best relationship he ever had)". I went to see a therapist, and the therapist told me that to be able to salvage a relationship he needs to know if both parties are willing to do it. So I asked him if he's still on this, and now he says, that I should wait to ask him more later (in the future). So i said, do you think I'll have a positive response from you if i wait? and he said "Maybe", then he cuddles me.
The thing about it is that I think I can't let him go cuz he had promised me before that he's not going anywhere. We've been through soo much stuff over the years, his numerous cheating most especially. And i'm still holding on to that promise of his.
Guys please help me wrap my head around it. Should I just really let him go? Or did he just said those words out of frustration and anger he's feeling at that time but doesn't really mean it 100%?