This happened a few months ago (And I AM over it just for the record ) but there's some things about this incident that I'm still racking my brain over so I figured it wouldn't hurt to get some outside perspectives
A few months ago, I was one of two guys trying to win the hand of the same girl. For this post I'll call her Rina.
I'd been friends with Rina for some time before all this and had made a move on her, but she turned me down because she didn't want to ruin the friendship. I had initially accepted it and got on with life, but then I heard from her best friend that Rina liked me, but was in an emotional quandary about having a relationship with me.
So a few casual dates later, she was ready to give a relationship a chance until the other guy called Mark stepped in.
This love triangle literally became the talk of the town, as people were dying to know which guy Rina was going to choose as well as the latest news. To my advantage I had Rina's mum, her best friend and most of her friends campaigning for me.
Despite Mark's presence, I treated this situation with care and the utmost consideration for Rina's feelings. I just went on with my own thing while spending time with Rina on casual dates, phone calls, even meeting her family.
At first, the love triangle was a bit of a laugh for everyone but over time,
the novelty wore off and the pressure to make a decision was taking its toll on Rina.
Although I wanted so much for her to say that I was the one, deep down I knew I was no better than everyone else for putting pressure on her. So I made the decision to "nobly withdraw" from trying for her hand.
The biggest reason I withdrew was because I not only wanted her to be happy, but because I wanted her to make her choice based on what she wanted as opposed to what everyone else wanted for her.
When you're one of a number of guys trying to win the hand of the same girl, you have to keep in mind that you may be the unlucky one. That your ideal man/woman may not see you as their ideal partner.
This is a risk you have to take when you participate in love triangles, squares or hexagons.
But the one thing you never think about, the one thing that you can never prepare yourself for, is how much it hurts when you're not the one.
I felt gutted when Rina told me that she chose Mark. But Rina thanked me for withdrawing and that it meant a lot to her.
At first, it was really hard to see them together, but deep down I told myself that I gave Rina the chance to be happy and that I should be proud of that.
The weird thing is, since I "nobley withdrew" I've earnt the respect of so many women that find out about this So my question is why has my "noble withdrawal" hit such a positive chord with women?