very broken hearted and upset from this bad breakup.

[Diamondsnpearls]

My message to him said to let it all happen naturally now and have eachothers space. Maybe he will change or the best of maybe we will probably go our separate ways which I think is what will happen. Either way I won't get my hopes up for anything as I will most likely get let down. I'm just finding it so hard.

[Valixy]

I think you did the right thing, taking in consideration that you have been together for only 9 months. Some people simply aren't ready for a live in relationship after only 9 months and I think this might be his case, and others become too attached emotionally too soon, which might be your case. The ideal situation is when you succeed to fall in love but you don't become needy and start relying completely on the time spent together for your emotional happiness. So, I totally agree with you in giving him his time and space, not contacting him first again and trying to understand his position. Meanwhile, you should not live glued by the phone, obsessing over might can happen, you really need to make an effort and increase your selfawareness of your tendency to become too emotionally and mentally attached to him and work on this. With of without him, you owe to yourself to regain some of your personal power back, your peace of mind and your capacity to enjoy life on your own. Any effort you make in this direction would simply make you a happier person, would take away much of the tension existing in the relationship and it will make you look more attractive to him or any other guy actually.

[Diamondsnpearls]

It's got to the point now where I really miss him and starting to miss his company so bad. This time yesterday I was supposed to be on my way to his .. And I'm feeling so alone and upset like I just want everything to be ok want him to realise this would work if he changes. Just don't get why he doesn't seem to be able to do that

[michelle23]

Hes gonna hurt you again and again as long as you wait for him. You should take control and break up with him properly. This wouldnt be happening if you and he had a future. I speak from experience hun. 5 years with my man and never a break or a breakup and if he did ask for a break-I would say no its over. As hard as it is and as much as it hurts, being stuck in limbo hurts more

[Diamondsnpearls]

I just feel so confused and so hurt. He said to me he needs time before he talks to me as he's so upset but it's hard as he still loves me. I can't remember the last time I woke up without crying its so hard I don't know how to deal with it.

[michelle23]

Deal with it by taking action. You are being unfair to yourself by waiting around and allowing him to call all the shots. It shouldn't be that way. Love is two way. if your not getting what you want from him, your supposed to cut him off.

[ayatora]

never think for someone is the only. there is always alternative.

[ayatora]

progress your eq make it higher

[Diamondsnpearls]

I keep telling myself to focus on what i'm doing and not what he's doing. but it's so hard for me i'm just constantly wondering what's going to happen next

[Diamondsnpearls]

I feel like I can't relax at all I'm just constantly wondering what's round the corner and whats going to happen next and i know i shouldn't be doing that, i wish i could do something to take my mind of it. like today, all my friends are either on holiday are away, i'm here and unable to take my mind of this. i know now i wont contact him as it was left with "speak to you soon" i would love for me and him to be able to work this out, take it slow, take our time. and it would kill me if he wasn't willing to do that. which i know he probably isn't willing to do it, so i wont get my hopes up or i will get let down. i know how much he loves me so i'm still very confused as to all of this. it's like he just changed all of a sudden when we spent more time together, (baring in mind it was everyday, sometimes 3 weeks without a break) and i'd be willing to stop all that and as i said, take it slow. but if he's not then there's nothing left to do..

[michelle23]

you wont be able to take your mind off him. After a breakup it is completely normal to torture yourself constantly thinking about him, crying, feeling like crap etc. Its withdrawel. The longer you stay waiting for him, the longer you will feel this bad. If you break up with him properly, those horrible feelings will start to get better within a month, you will slowly start to feel normal again

[Diamondsnpearls]

The thing is, right now I feel like I do want him back and want things to work. Since i've been home I haven't begged him, mentioned getting back together or anything like that once. I simply sent him one long email saying how I wont beg him as a relationship takes two, and that we should relax get on with our lives have space, and he said it's really hard for him to talk about as he's so upset about it, and that he doesn't think me and him can go on but he will speak to me soon. If he wanted this to work and changed his mind all of a sudden and wanted this as much as me i'd be so much better right now. He's the first person i've felt like this about so it's breaking me up inside. i can't help but think, when will he contact me again..and i do try to avoid that as much as possible. he doesn't know i'm waiting around as i gave him the idea that i'm also getting my own space and enjoying my life at the minute. but i'm not, i'm here over thinking hurting, crying and feeling like my heart has broken. i wish i could get him back for the best.

[michelle23]

you cant though. I'm sorry I know it hurts but people who have a long term future don't break up. Its very very rare that they get back together and on the rare times that they do get back together-they nearly always break up again within months. You are hurting yourself more by thinking there is a chance. He is being a f**ker by doing this to you. It is so cruel and wrong to give you false hope. That is what he is doing. He thinks that by telling you there may be a chance, it will help you get over him but it wont. It will just delude you and you will wait until you are rejected another ten times to take a hint and accept its over. I dont know what his game is. He either really thinks that breaking up with you bit by bit is better for you than just telling you straight its over or he is going looking to see if there is anyone better out there for him and keeping you as a backup plan. Seriously hun don't wait for anyone-he is not worth it.

[michelle23]

It could also be that he is afraid of looking like the bad guy by just telling you straight I don't want to be with you. He is trying to spare your feelings by telling you he still cares and the problem is him, not you... but its all BS. If he wanted to be with you-he would still be with you. It really is that simple.

[Diamondsnpearls]

he's always been very honest with me. right now it's like he's 50/50 of what he wants all of the time, it's like he's finding it way too hard to tell me it's completely over. when i messaged him i didn't tell him i was going crazy over him or that i was begging for him back or anything, i did the opposite and said i've told myself it's 100% over. and he just said "don't talk about it thats upsetting me too much" then he said he can't talk to me right now as he's too upset by it all. i said the right thing will happen and he just said "i hope so" i just cant read him