Ladies, I need your feedback...

[CleanCut]

Again with the superior attitude.



This is legitimate.



Really you hadn't thought of this? Well better late then never. I agree that you should make your profile look less judgmental (whether you are or not is not an issue - right now, you look judgmental and this is bad).



Looking forward to read the results .

Sorry, didn't mean for that to sound like it had attitude behind it. Also, yea I always noticed those settings of course. I just thought reiterating in my profile description would to help narrow down the respondents. I didn't think it would be an issue, but apparently it might be.

Eharmony takes all the search out and narrows the search for you so you are not spending all your time going through dozens of profiles. You can't judge a book by it's cover so even tho they may not look stellar or there is one thing about them isn't suitable to you, just go out on some dates anyways. You are not downgrading.......the reality of it is people in general are not perfect, and sometime you need to be more open minded....that's just my two cents.

When I was dating, I just went out on dates to give them a chance, and also to just get out and have a good time. If nothing ever came of it then oh well no big deal, just move on. I even asked guys out myself and took them out on dates. Just have to keep at it.

IMO internet dating can't compare to actually going out and meeting people. Internet dating is too competitive. They will see many that are OK but hold off for the perfect one, which most of the time doesn't happen.

Yea, I know. But there are just somethings I am not willing to tolerate, like smoking for example. I just thought this online dating thing would be a big time saver in filtering out the basics as not to waste time or money on someone who ends up being a smoker or has kids or something. I think you may be right about the competitiveness as well. Maybe online dating is just too competitive for me.

I thought the problem was that nobody is contacting you? Kinda easy to not respond to nothing, I would have thought. Unless I'm misunderstanding.

Noticed I said "If", lol. I do occasionally get messages from people I don't message first, but they apparently don't read my profile because they never match.

Thanks again guys for all this great help guys!

[CleanCut]

Ok, so I did some major trimming of the "What I am looking for" paragraph of my profile. I also took out the line about the tattoos and piercings as one can usually tell how far they have gone with that from the photos.

http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=50706517

Another thing I just thought of as well that I might change. I think I am going to change the drinking field to "Social Drinker". Even though I don't actually drink alcohol, the question is just "Do you drink?". Well, everyone drinks something or you wouldn't be alive, lol. So I can change that to sound more open with out even really lying

[Wakeup]

"Do you drink?". Well, everyone drinks something or you wouldn't be alive, lol. So I can change that to sound more open with out even really lying

You're lying by ommission. Everyone knows that the 'do you drink" question means Alcocholic drinks. Don't be doing bait and switch... assholes of the male and female kind do the bait and switch.

[CleanCut]

You're lying by ommission. Everyone knows that the 'do you drink" question means Alcocholic drinks. Don't be doing bait and switch... assholes of the male and female kind do the bait and switch.

I know and I am not into that. However that is the only other thing I can think of that might be turning people away. Out of ideas at this point.

[Wakeup]

So how long do you think you'll keep someone who likes to go out and have an alcoholic drink with her partner and you don't drink? What a waste of time for both of you.

Have you gone to your site's profile help section? What did they have to say about your profile?

[LifeInflux]

So how long do you think you'll keep someone who likes to go out and have an alcoholic drink with her partner and you don't drink? What a waste of time for both of you.

Have you gone to your site's profile help section? What did they have to say about your profile?

Uhm, I go out all the time on dates with someone who wants to drink.. sometimes I'll just tell them I'm not in the mood to drink while we're there, its never been a problem. IF he has a beer every so often, he can put that he drinks... or if he has a glass of wine at dinner..

I haven't forgotten about you CC, I've just been extremely busy these past couple days...

[Wakeup]

Uhm, I go out all the time on dates with someone who wants to drink.. sometimes I'll just tell them I'm not in the mood to drink while we're there, its never been a problem. IF he has a beer every so often, he can put that he drinks... or if he has a glass of wine at dinner..

I haven't forgotten about you CC, I've just been extremely busy these past couple days...

Have you told them that you're a social drinker but you don't drink ever? In that case, your situation would be exactly like the OP's and you too would be a liar by ommission. Op does not drink alcohol.

How long do your relationships last that you can get away without drinking ever after you've said you do so occassionally?

[LifeInflux]

Have you told them that you're a social drinker but you don't drink ever? In that case, your situation would be exactly like the OP's and you too would be a liar by ommission. How long do your relationships last that you can get away without drinker ever after you've said you do so occassionally?

Uhm, My relationships last as long as I wish them to. If I decide to have a beer, then I drink a beer, if I get a glass of wine at dinner then thats what I do.. I don't drink every week, or once a month... and if I meet at a bar, I might have one.. or I might not have any... thats my choice. Women can either accept that or not.

I have nothing to prove to them or you. DO I drink alcohol? Yes I do. Does it mean I have to drink when I don't want to? No it doesn't...

If he is completely sober and the idea of grabbing a beer doesn't interest him at all, then he should let them know up front he doesn't drink, but if he's willing to meet at a bar for a drink, and have a beer one night.. and not the next... he can put whatever he feels comfortable with.

[smackie9]

There are non-alcoholic beers and wines he can drink while looking like he is drinking...... I totally can see why people would be truned off by "I don't drink". It would give me the impression they are against anyone drinking or being around people who drink, which isn't the case here.

Good on you for pulling out the tattoo thing. It's true just by pictures one can see you are not into that lifestyle.

[Wakeup]

Uhm, My relationships last as long as I wish them to. If I decide to have a beer, then I drink a beer, if I get a glass of wine at dinner then thats what I do.. I don't drink every week, or once a month... and if I meet at a bar, I might have one.. or I might not have any... thats my choice. Women can either accept that or not.

Uhm then your situation is not the same as the op's he never drinks alcohol so why should he say he does? That's doing the bait and switch and it's a shitty thing to do. IMO.

I have nothing to prove to them or you. DO I drink alcohol? Yes I do. Does it mean I have to drink when I don't want to? No it doesn't...

Yes you do drink... Op does not.

If he is completely sober and the idea of grabbing a beer doesn't interest him at all, then he should let them know up front he doesn't drink,

Maybe you should re-read what you're arguing about because with that line, you're actually agreeing with me.

but if he's willing to meet at a bar for a drink, and have a beer one night.. and not the next... he can put whatever he feels comfortable with.

No kidding.. just don't lie on his profile by saying he drinks ocassionally when he NEVER does.. is my point.

I'll add that if he wants to say he drinks ocassionally in the part where it asks if he does, then at least put in his profile that he does not but he is willing to meet a chick at a venue while she has one... if of course he is willing to do that. Whats the point of pulling in incompatible people to date? Someone is just not going to be really enjoying themselves.

[CleanCut]

Yikes, didn't mean to start a drinking conversation battle, lol. I guess I just never understood why the drinking thing is such a big deal to people anyways.

I guess I could legitimately set it to socially as every once in a while I might have one. I just don't drink if I can avoid it at all and don't consume much at all if I do. In fact, I had a juice of some sort last weekend that had a little alcohol in it and didn't even know it, lol. I wish they had a "Rarely" setting on POF like on OKCupid as that best describes it. So, it wouldn't be lying if I set it to their lowest level of drinking.

[Wakeup]

I guess I could legitimately set it to socially as every once in a while I might have one.

Well, if you had of actually said that in the first place then I wouldn't have even said what I said about doing the bate and switch. If you drink occassionally then you drink occassionally and there is no lie about it. Whether you have one or not when you have your first meet is entirely up to you. I suspect if you keep not having one though, your solitary drinking partner is going to start asking you why you never have one with her. You can put "rarely" in the body of your profile if you want to. If you don't want to then don't. Do You Drink: "Socially" would be correct since once in a while you do have one.

[Wakeup]

.... and for what it's worth I think you should put the pic of you in the red shirt as your main pic that shows on searches. I don't think the black and white one does anything for you, really? Just my point of view.

[CleanCut]

Well, if you had of actually said that in the first place then I wouldn't have even said what I said about doing the bate and switch. If you drink occassionally then you drink occassionally and there is no lie about it. Whether you have one or not when you have your first meet is entirely up to you. I suspect if you keep not having one though, your solitary drinking partner is going to start asking you why you never have one with her. You can put "rarely" in the body of your profile if you want to. If you don't want to then don't. Do You Drink: "Socially" would be correct since once in a while you do have one.

Yea, there is a spot in my profile that says "but I'm not a big fan of bars", so hopefully they will get the idea.

Also, I do rotate the photos every once in a while.

Thanks

[Wakeup]

Yea, there is a spot in my profile that says "but I'm not a big fan of bars", so hopefully they will get the idea

Thanks

Not necessarily... lots of people don't like to drink at bars but will drink at restaurants or an nice quiet pub. All you're saying is that you don't like the venue.