Ok ladies 5 questions I need you to answer!!

[surfhb2]

No....I don't say my wife Is "somewhat" patient or "kinda" loyal.

For whatever reason, you're equating these traits and abstinence.....it's not normal and it's clear it's hurting your relationships from where I sit. Abstaining from sex doesn't prove a thing in a relationship....it's impossible for you to understand since you've never had sex, been in a relationship and only kissed a girl till recently.....all this at 24 ?! C'mon man! Don't you see a barrier here?

Those thoughts of my wife having sex with her exes don't even enter my mind because I have a loving and honest relationship....get it?

[actualgoodguy]

Those thoughts of my wife having sex with her exes don't even enter my mind because I have a loving and honest relationship....get it?

It's doesn't make you cringe a bit when you think of it? I mean another guy was f ing your wife. How do you not feel anything from that?

[surfhb2]

It's doesn't make you cringe a bit when you think of it? I mean another guy was f ing your wife. How do you not feel anything from that?

Like I said, People in relationship dont even think about it

Would you please talk to a therapist?! Therapy was the best thing I ever did for myself

[actualgoodguy]

Like I said, People in relationship dont even think about it

Would you please talk to a therapist?! Therapy was the best thing I ever did for myself

Easy way out I guess to just ignore the past

[surfhb2]

Easy out? What is it that people in relationships are trying to escape from?

[Valixy]

[I]1. Would you prefer your boyfriend to be a:

Non-Virgin


2. How many sexual partners would you like your boyfriend to have had before you?

Not too many.


3. When is it ok to discuss sexual history?

Not interested in his sexual history but I would like to know about the important relationships.


4. After how many dates is it ok to start having sex?

When we've got to know each other and fell in love.


5. Which is the biggest turn-off in a guy?

Lack of personality.

[michelle23]

One of the reasons as I've said before is that the thought of another guy's dick being in my gf's mouth or vag before me and then putting mine there as well is absolutely disgusting. That clear it up?

Do you like picturing your bf's dick in the girl before you's mouth or vag?

It doesn't bother me. I am not insecure or jealous. Whatever he did in the past is the past and I know I am the best he will ever have. My bf is addicted to me, after 5 years he has not once been bored. I think that says it all

I don't mean that in a cocky way or anything. I just mean I know he loves me in and out of bed. I know I am enough for him and he is happy. That's all that matters. So what if he or I had a few sexual experiences before each other. We learned a lot from each other too and it has all been enjoyable.

Sexual experiences with exes don't even cross my mind. We were both inexperienced when we met and most of what we know we learned from each other but even if we didn't, it wouldn't bother me.

[michelle23]

Yes it is self denial and out of it we know our partner is clean, they possess patience, loyalty, and unselfishness. We know we don't need sex to prove we love each other, though it will only enhance our love when we finally do.

Being a virgin doesn't prove you are patient, loyal or unselfish. It has nothing to do with any of those things. Im not a virgin and I am patient, loyal and unselfish so is my bf, so are most of these good people on here who are not virgins. Believe it or not, most men and women have at least one sexual experience by the age of 15 whether that is just touching or more depends on the individual. It is perfectly normal for teenagers to experiment sexually with each other, I know I did but I waited until I was 18 to have full intercourse. And the first time I gave or received proper oral I was 19. But you are 24, you are going to find it extremely difficult to find a "pure" girl who has never had any past sexual experiences.

Where did these beliefs come from can I ask? I admire the fact that sex = love for you. It does for me too. But that shouldn't mean love= celibacy until marriage

You can fully love someone 100% without being engaged or married. You can be fully committed to someone and living together, even have kids without being married. Marriage is just a piece of paper and even if you do successfully manage to put a ring on her finger, she could still cheat on you, leave you, divorce you.. What are you gonna do then? Try to find a 40 year old virgin?

[searock]

One of the reasons as I've said before is that the thought of another guy's dick being in my gf's mouth or vag before me and then putting mine there as well is absolutely disgusting. That clear it up?

Do you like picturing your bf's dick in the girl before you's mouth or vag?

Wow, that's sick! Why would you even think about something like that? Normal people just enjoy the moment when they're having sex, they don't start obsessing over whose dick was inside whose vagina some random time in the past. That's messed up.

I am happy that my bf had sexual experiences before being with me, and I'm happy I had sexual experiences before being with him. And guess what (it will blow your mind): my boyfriend is happy I had other sexual experiences before being with him, too. Incredible, huh?

[smackie9]

Lol, a handjob is not sex

Over your head......you complain about the lack of experience with a hand job, just wait till you get with a virgin lol.

[smackie9]

Ok, fair enough, but how? Help me out, how do you block that from your mind?

If you lack this much trust in a person because you feel since they have sex before marriage therefor must mean they are untrustworthy... this is a huge misconception not a "belief"....that's like saying all black men are criminals or Muslims are all terrorists.

[smackie9]

One of the reasons as I've said before is that the thought of another guy's dick being in my gf's mouth or vag before me and then putting mine there as well is absolutely disgusting. That clear it up?

Do you like picturing your bf's dick in the girl before you's mouth or vag?

So say you marry your virgin wife, things go sour after 15 years and you divorce, then what? you will be a 40 something year old guy looking for a virgin again?

[pacachomp]

This has gone on way too long. Actualgoodguy, you have seriously malformed conceptions of love, sex, trust, and how they interrelate. You need to recognize that these are the problem, and stop trying to rationalise them. As others have said, you need to go talk to a therapist - right now, before you waste any more of your life.

[smackie9]

It's obvious the OP was taught in childhood by his parents that sex before marriage was a very dirty thing, and any girl who was sexually active was dirty and disgusting and should be avoided.

[actualgoodguy]

Well, I'll let me guard down a little....I'm not an idiot - I get what each one of you are saying and I agree with it. I just feel I have to maintain an image - it's the reason why I don't drink, why I set several school records in college in running, why I have the money I do at my age, etc....I have a really, really big ego and I want to always win, be the best, strive for perfection, etc. Only a few people really know this about me, but I'm sure the people that know me would be surprised if they found out, because I never show it in real life. It's almost like I feel like I'm going to be judged at the end of my life, even though I know it's not going to happen, and it's got nothing to do with religion, cause I'm not religious. That's why I decide to do all these things, sex included, cause I feel it's the right thing to do, I feel like waiting is the most admirable or perfect thing to do, that's why I do it.

But I also sometimes think about our purpose here on earth...how lucky we all are to just be alive. When you think of all the factors that created the universe, sun, earth and that my grandparents met, then my parents met and that I was even born, a healthy baby, with no defects is a miracle. And I think really, what's this big hangup I have about sex. In the first place it's the reason why I even exist. It's a fundamental part of life and it's natural to want it and experience it. Do I really want it to prevent me from having years of memories with my wife and kids, b-day parties, graduations, vacations, etc. Nevermind the feeling of being intimate and loving someone. I should do what makes me truly happy and I believe love is the ultimate way to experience happiness, so it should naturally be a stronger influence than the hangup I have.

So obviously my heart tells me one thing but my brain another, ultimately I'd prefer for my heart to win, but it's just hard to overcome, as I feel my image will be tarnished.

Anyway lol, that's my story.