I'm 17 and i had sex with a 35 year old man who I barely know?

[TeEnAgEdIrTbAg]

very funny dick, for a start i'm not a slut i wudnt let a dirty old man old enough to be my dad touch my body, my dad wud kill the pedofile lol

[michelle23]

whilst I agree morally a 35 year old man should have more decency and he is the responsible adult who should have said no. Legally there is not a thing she can do about so its better to just focus on the fact that she made an error of judgement, she learned a lesson and she should move on now and forget the creep.

I have cousins her age. I am 7-8 years older than them and the difference in maturity is huge. Plus these girls are not even fully developed. They have tiny little childlike bodies, no hips, boobs, completely flat stomach. You could not call them women as they are not yet fully developed (at least most are not) which is another reason why what this man did was wrong.

tip for you young girls. stick to boys your own age. The legal age was put in place so you could experiment with boys your own age. Emotionally you may feel ready to be with a guy you trust and love. Not older men who will take advantage of you so just learn from this and move on

[michelle23]

very funny dick, for a start i'm not a slut i wudnt let a dirty old man old enough to be my dad touch my body, my dad wud kill the pedofile lol

okay hun give it a rest. nobody is calling you a slut. your opinion is welcome. just try to be less judgmental. She is a young girl and she is hurting. She just needs some kind words. Thats all

[TeEnAgEdIrTbAg]

I agree that OP shouldn't feel bad about herself. I do think she made a mistake (bad judgement), but it's totally normal to make mistakes, especially at such a young age. I still think the real offender is the 35 year old guy who decided it was ok to have sex with a kid less than half his age.

that depends maybe she went after the old man or someting she hasnt told the full story.she is not tellin how it happened cos she initiated it i think.

OP did u have sex in his house or someting?

[searock]

that depends maybe she went after the old man or someting she hasnt told the full story.she is not tellin how it happened cos she initiated it i think.

OP did u have sex in his house or someting?

It doesn't matter if she initiated - HE should have said no.

[TeEnAgEdIrTbAg]

maybe OP is a catholic gal they always do these stuff then cry abowt it lool lyk 1 of my stupid friends lmfao

[michelle23]

what part of this dont you understand: okay hun give it a rest. nobody is calling you a slut. your opinion is welcome. just try to be less judgmental. She is a young girl and she is hurting. She just needs some kind words. Thats all

Go and bully someone else

[TeEnAgEdIrTbAg]

i am not bullyin her at all i feel for her . where have i bullied her? i am just statin what i think this is a forum afterall.

[michelle23]

no you are trying to make her feel ashamed. guess what? she already does so stop it

[Wakeup]

dont u start with me now.just cos i'm a teen dont mean i dont know what i'm talkin about.she is a teen like me and would probably like my opions. i think dick (haha so funny;D) iz wrong coz he is a guy and teen guys take sex wid older woman as experienced n they brag about it.its different 4 a gal.i wuld never brag about sex with an older man same age as my dad, my mates wuld think i'm a slut lol

As annoying as you can be, this is true. There is a complete double standard perpetuated and odds are high that a son's father would high five his 18 year old sons pull of a 35 year old cougar but he would ground his daughter for 50 years and seek legal councel on the guy.

[michelle23]

Most parents would be concerned if they found out their teenage son was shagging an older woman. Come on what grown mature responsible man would approve of their male or female child doing that?

Most the men I know would tell their sons to be mature and responsible when it comes to sex-not shag the divorcee who lives next door..

[dickriculous]

I agree that OP shouldn't feel bad about herself. I do think she made a mistake (bad judgement), but it's totally normal to make mistakes, especially at such a young age. I still think the real offender is the 35 year old guy who decided it was ok to have sex with a kid less than half his age.

If she really made a mistake it is a very small one, that's what I'm getting at. Like I said, akin to picking an entree she thought would be delicious but ended up tasting like ass.

You're second point is one we'll just have to disagree on. I see no way, shape, or form that one horny guy who got his rocks off could possibly be more evil or more wrong than an entire social structure that has conspired for centuries to shame women into hating their sexuality so much that when something like this happens they look at themselves with disgust as if they just committed murder.

Thing is, the two most noteworthy differeneces between the OP's situation and my situation that I spoke of on the last page are 1) nobody called Kristy (in case you missed it she's the 32 y/o that I had sex with at 18) a pervert or anything negative at all for having sex with me, and 2) nobody ever refers to me as a slut for giving it up too easily and acting like I have self-esteem issues for doing so. Yet if you flip the genders around, everything changes on both points, thus the logical conclusion to draw is that the double standard is the primary lever that once you apply it, causes the complete 180 in perspective. That's why I believe it is our social structure causing the biggest problem and most significantly responsible for the way OP feels about herself.

As annoying as you can be, this is true. There is a complete double standard perpetuated and odds are high that a son's father would high five his 18 year old sons pull of a 35 year old cougar but he would ground his daughter for 50 years and seek legal councel on the guy.

I believe this ties in with the double standard about how a man sleeping around is a God among men and a woman who sleeps around is a slut who deserves no respect. It goes hand in hand with the point I made before, our social structure shaming women against their own sexuality is responsible for the anguish someone like OP feels when something like this happens. A 17 y/o boy who sleeps with a woman in his 30s is a stud but a 17 y/o girl who sleeps with a man in his 30's is a victim? As mentioned above, the two most noteworthy differeneces between the OP's situation and my situation that I spoke of on the last page are 1) nobody called Kristy a pervert or anything negative at all for having sex with me, and 2) nobody ever refers to me as a slut for giving it up too easily and acting like I'm filthy and have no self respect for doing so. Put 2 and 2 together here people, this is no coincidence.

I want to bring up another noteworthy point on that subject, about how you never hear anybody demonizing the cougar who has sex with a much younger man in the same way as they do with an older man having sex with a much younger woman. It's interesting to me because the consensus among most of the regulars here seems to be that double standards with regards to male vs female sexuality are for immature, ignorant, and insecure sexists. Or does this only apply to double standards against women? I can assume that my peers around here are above that kind of hypocrisy...right?

Without the demonization attached to female sexuality, it's entirely possible - and imo highly likely - that no wrongdoing of any kind would be perceived out of what happened here. If you look at societies where female sexuality is not demonized in this fashion and nobody is specifically told to think that younger women having sex with older men is disgusting, I'd be willing to place a bet that nobody there perceives a younger woman as a victim when she has sex with an older man, and thus the guilt, shame, and self loathing OP is currently experiencing would never have happened in those cultures.

Most the men I know would tell their sons to be mature and responsible when it comes to sex-not shag the divorcee who lives next door..

My dad DID want me to be sexually responsible, still does, and one thing we agreed on was that there was nothing sexually irresponsible about me having sex with Kristy. Sexual irresponsibility involves things like pounding strangers with no protection, nutting inside someone without knowing they're on the pill, rape, etc. What specifically about fukking Kristy was irresponsible of me when I was 18? Keep in mind that no negative consequences of any kind to anybody came about as a result of us having sex. If what I did was irresponsible then I need justification as to how my actions would have been likely to make something terrible actually happen in the real world. To this day I haven't spent one second thinking anything negative of what I did and as far as I know neither has she.

[Wakeup]

) nobody called Kristy a pervert or anything negative at all for having sex with me,

If you had started a thread about it, I would have, if nothing else, questioned her good judgement. I still believe that there is something inherently, "missing" shall I say, in anyone that beds someone that is so young when they are so old. The age difference to me, isn't the problem... it is the adult taking advantage of the young teen.

My dad DID want me to be sexually responsible, still does, and one thing we agreed on was that there was nothing sexually irresponsible about me having sex with Kristy. Sexual irresponsibility involves things like pounding strangers with no protection, nutting inside someone without knowing they're on the pill, rape, etc.

I agree with that definition. The statement you quoted on it is naive at best.

[dickriculous]

If you had started a thread about it, I would have, if nothing else, questioned her good judgement. I still believe that there is something inherently, "missing" shall I say, in anyone that beds someone that is so young when they are so old. The age difference to me, isn't the problem... it is the adult taking advantage of the young teen.

She didn't take advantage of me in any shape or form. To take advantage of someone involves an element of deceit, or excessive imposing. Neither of those things happened. We fell into each other's arms and had sex.

Edit: I also have to disagree with you on questioning her good judgment, I happen to think she made EXCELLENT judgment in choosing me to share a night of intense passion with as well as every other woman who has ever made the same judgment.

[TeEnAgEdIrTbAg]

oh my dayss dick u r a guy its different 4 u. its just da way society is.if my teen male friends banged a cougar dey wud brag about it n get a pat on their back but if i had slept with an old man i wud keep it 2 myself cuz i know 4 a fact i'd be called a slut!!!!