trying to get over her sexual past

[tedtor902]

anyone ever have problems with their partners sexual past? my gf had a few one night stands and it bothers me just knowing she would do that. i try to forget it but i just cant

[4 ratties]

Life sucks don't it

[michelle23]

if it really bothers you now-then it prob wont go away. if her past isnt something you can accept than its better to walk away and find a girl who you can accept. i hope your not one of those guys with double standards? if you have a similar past-then you have NO right to judge her. if your past is a lot cleaner-fine i can understand y it would bother you but if not then you should rethink y its one rule for you and another for her. thats wrong.

[VincenzoG91]

anyone ever have problems with their partners sexual past? my gf had a few one night stands and it bothers me just knowing she would do that. i try to forget it but i just cant

You need to break up with her, because it turns out that you're one of those guys who can't handle this kind of information. When you start dating the next woman, definitely do not ask her about her sexual past.

[smackie9]

She's a slut and can't be trusted....breakup with her.

[fly]

Everyone has a past. I am sure you have some things in your closet she might not favour. The question is, is this something you feel you can get over? If it continues to bother you now, it probably won't ever go away. Cut your losses and don't ask the next person anything you honestly don't want to hear the possible negative answer too.

[Cerby]

This is probably one of the most commonly asked questions in this forum. The answers are usually the same - if you can't handle it now, you'll probably never fully accept it. Not to say you won't, but it might take longer than you'd like, or you'll attack her self-esteem in the process.

[LifeInflux]

I once had to deal with the realization that the girl I was completely in love with slept with someone a long time ago that.. well, to say the least, was part of my family, no longer though -- but still. I knew her at the time, we had dated prior to that interaction... all of that... and that part of her past was kept from me until months after we had gotten involved again (after a 10 year hiatus)


It was an extremely trying time for me in that particular relationship... but I couldn't fault her as she didn't do it to hurt me intentionally, and, I did love her. Sometimes in situations like this, you have to trust your significant other and forgive them as they didn't know that a simple transgression could cause such problems in the future.

She was remorseful at the time.... though, we ended up breaking up for other reasons months later... but I'm still proud of myself that I was willing to move past it.

[smackie9]

You made her feel remorseful? You rat bastard, Cerby is 100% right.

[LifeInflux]

You made her feel remorseful? You rat bastard, Cerby is 100% right.

I don't make anyone do anything. People base their feelings off of a number of factors.

This particular situation was much more convoluted given the circumstances, none of which the OP has to deal with.

The point that I was making is simply, he can get past it if he has the determination to do so.

[UnderTheMoon]

I never ask my partners about their past. I just ask that they make sure they are clean because I know sometimes people go through promiscuous periods of time. I would never want to love someone in that way, and then find out they gave me a present I never wanted. Talk smart, not nosy.

[searock]

Why do you care? As long as she's committed to you and you are happy with her right now, her past before meeting you doesn't matter.

If you can't get over it, break up with her, because there's nothing you can do to change the past.

[MOVINGforward]

Everyone has had a sexual past. Including you (I assume).
She's chosen you, so it doesn't matter what her past is.
Would you prefer her to have had a long term boyfriend who she is still in contact with? You probably wouldn't like that either.
She can't change her past, but has chosen to commit to you - embrace it. Or break up if you can't get over it.
Don't ask about the sexual past of the next girl.

[Millie]

Can I just ask, what is your problem with it exactly, is it that you think the fact that she has a few one night stand experiences under her belt (so to speak) says negative things about her character, or (without getting graphic) is it the thought of the actual physical acts? Difficult to give advice when there's no numbers to go by, i.e. how old your girlfriend is, how long the two of you have been together and how long ago these one-nighters occurred.

[catnip]

Have you ever considered that our past experiences are what makes us who we are today?