girlfriend issues

[eurp]

Hey everyone,

I am a 28 year old male dating a 25 year old female. My girlfriend is overseas in Vietnam on vacation and I will be visiting her shortly in about 4-5 days to venture off into Vietnam and Thailand for three weeks.

Before she left, she told me that she wouldn't hop on a moped or motorbike there, and within 24 hours of her being there, a family-friend gave her a ride to show her around town. I had told her that I was upset because she told me she wasn't going to do something dangerous, as around two people die in Vietnam on moped/motorbikes every hour. When I confronted her about why she went back on her words, she said, "it's a way of life there and to trust my judgement."

We argue for a bit and then we make up. A day later, she says she ate street food, even though she said she wasn't going to since it's not really all that healthy over there. I don't really mind the fact that she ate the street food there, since at very worst, she'll have the runs. I'm more concerned with that she goes back on her words. Again, after I bring it up, she goes into defensive mode and I'm the one who ends up apologizing.

Another thing happened last night before bed. I had told her that I really wanted to try a very specific Vietnamese fruit that can't be found in the US. I told her I wanted to try it with her and that she should wait for me until I arrive. She said she already had it when she was 16 and she had it last week when she first arrived when a family-friend offered it to her. I still told her to wait to have it again. I wanted to share that experience with her together -- if she's eating it already, it wouldn't be as special since she's already had it a couple times in the very first week of her being there.

Anyways, not even two hours later, I see a post on her Instagram showing everyone that she just ate the very thing that I told her to wait on. I told her I felt like I was getting trolled. I don't know if it was coincidental as to why she had it just a mere two hours later, but coincidental or not, it made me upset.

Once I confronted her about it, she got defensive again and told me that she felt like she couldn't do anything in Vietnam because anything could set me off. She couldn't believe she was having this conversation with me about this again after the moped and the street food issue. She thought that when I told her to not have that special type of fruit, she didn't think I meant it literally...

After awhile of us going back and forth, I told her I loved her and said I was sorry for bringing it up and that I was going to go back to bed.

I just don't feel like she's being considerate and the whole thing that happened a few days ago in where she kept going back on her words felt like I didn't even know her anymore.

Am I wrong for being upset about all of this?

[dem862]

Well, you might as well give up trying to control her and just let her do what she pleases. Less grief for everybody.

[basilandthyme]

Eurp, you are behaving in a very controlling manner. Back off or you will lose her.

[eurp]

Thank you for the perspective, I won't do this anymore.

[michelle23]

dud you sound like a f**king psycho. some people have real problems you know. its hsr life. if she wants to ride a motorcycle or eat fruit-you have no right to try and stop her. do you tell her what to wear too? and how to eat and to sit up straight? wtf is wrong with you? you dont own her. im surprised she hasntdumped your ass yet. carry on like this and youll be single soon

[eurp]

dud you sound like a f**king psycho. some people have real problems you know. its hsr life. if she wants to ride a motorcycle or eat fruit-you have no right to try and stop her. do you tell her what to wear too? and how to eat and to sit up straight? wtf is wrong with you? you dont own her. im surprised she hasntdumped your ass yet. carry on like this and youll be single soon

Chill dude. I was just asking a question.

It just seemed like if my girlfriend said she said she wasn't doing something, she wasn't going to do it. It just felt like her words held zero weight. I don't care if she rides a motorcycle or not -- the fact that she promised me that she wouldn't and then did just seems kinda lame. I didn't even ask her not do it in the first place. She openly told me she wasn't going to do it since it's considered very dangerous.

I didn't mean to cause any commotion here. Sorry about that.

[kirsy]

okay, honestly your acting like a control freak "My girlfriend is overseas in Vietnam on vacation" it's VACATION let her enjoy herself and do what she pleases you constantly arguing over the most dumbest thing you shouldn't worry that much. your going to visit her shortly it's not like if she's cheating on you. when you get their your going to want to have fun also so don't fight just be excited your going to see her soon and just tell her you that you love her & miss her ;p

[eurp]

okay, honestly your acting like a control freak "My girlfriend is overseas in Vietnam on vacation" it's VACATION let her enjoy herself and do what she pleases you constantly arguing over the most dumbest thing you shouldn't worry that much. your going to visit her shortly it's not like if she's cheating on you. when you get their your going to want to have fun also so don't fight just be excited your going to see her soon and just tell her you that you love her & miss her ;p

Thank you. I will do just that.

[michelle23]

your over reacting. its not like shes flirting with ten guys or cheating. she could be doin a lot worse than eating fruit without you. seriosly. i dont get pissed with my bf for drinking ten cups of coffee a day even though its bad for him or get annoyed that he drives too fast (even though i do ask him nicely to be careful) or that he leaves the toilet seat up or forgets to turn off half the lights. let it go.. could be 100times worse!

[kimhotcake]

You really need to figure out what is making you so controlling. It seems like you have some unresolved issues, and until you address them, you will likely keep repeating this pattern. I understand you love her and are worried about her, but she is an adult and in charge of her own life. Try to think of it as, you are lucky to be around her, and every minute you spend together is a gift.

[toknow]

Everyone is missing the point here. It's not about her doing what she did, it's about her saying one thing, and then doing another.

When you are with someone you need to be honest with them. If you say something, do it. If you don't want to do it, then don't say you will.

[namemyname]

I hope she doesn't poop without clearing it with you first!!

[basilandthyme]

I everyone is missing the point here. It's not about her doing what she did, it's about her saying one thing, and then doing another.

When you are with someone you need to be honest with them. If you say something, do it. If you don't want to do it, then don't say you will.

She changed her mind. Do you not understand the concept of her changing her mind - or did she need to ask your permission to do so?

[smackie9]

Wow controlling! Dude she's an adult not your child. Need to cut the leash and let her be the person who she is and trust her to make her own decisions. She did those things because she wanted to, not to disrespect you. You really need to stop this jealous behavior or you will lose her.

[smackie9]

I everyone is missing the point here. It's not about her doing what she did, it's about her saying one thing, and then doing another.

When you are with someone you need to be honest with them. If you say something, do it. If you don't want to do it, then don't say you will.

She isn't allowed to so she doesn't tell him....get it? He is the cause of her behavior.