She's left and i blame myself :( Can life ever be the same? thanks for reading

[tonystarkben]

I appreciate it's a long thread but i cant sleep and i'm hoping someone can read this and maybe help in some way.

Right now i feel as if i have lost everything and i think its all my fault.

I was with my girlfriend for 18 months and it was a wonderful time. We did a lot of lovely things and i took her on her first over seas holiday ( we went to Florida) and it was so nice. I am 23, she is 19. She had a boyfriend before me for 2 years or so and was single about 9 months before we met.

I was always a very good boyfriend. Lori pretty much lived at my house, we spent a lot of time together and with friends but i always encouraged her to go out with her friends and i was with mine and she even wanted to volunteer in Africa and i helped her with the forms and stuff. I always said live your life, i was never controlling or possessive in any way.

Just before Christmas, we had something bad happen. Lori went to a party and got a little too drunk and slept with a guy. I never would have known but she was in hysterics for days and it was hard, but i turned up at her door the next day and said lets talk about it. It was hard but we got through it.

Fast forward 6 months and all was so good. Then i was an idiot.

I was at a friends party a few weeks ago and a girl tried to kiss me. She was nice but i had a girlfriend, obviously but i admit, i did kiss her on the lips, thought " what are you doing" and stopped. To be honest, i could have gone home with her but i didn't.

2 weeks ago the girl sent me girlfriend the picture of us kissing on facebook. She found me on there and said to my girlfriend we had been seeing eachother for weeks and all sorts of lies.

I admitted to kissing her but told her nothing else happened. It didnt and i knew what an *** i had been and i loved her.

My girlfriend said kissing is still cheating and she left me 2 weeks ago. I said that i am sorry a million times. I said i didn't understand why she could not forgive me when i forgave her for something much worse.

I went to see her tonight and we had some dinner. She said although she loved me, she had been feeling different these past 2 weeks and she has been out with her friends a lot to bars and clubs and she said she honestly likes being single. She said a lot of guys have chatted her up and she just felt like she was beautiful ( for the record, i always told her how beautiful she was).

I said that it was normal but these guys don't want to get to know her, most of them are just after one thing but she said she just wants to be friends for a while and she wants to do her own thing. She said maybe she didn't have enough time inbetween me and her ex and she wants to travel and some other stuff.

As i left her house her father said to me he was sorry and she doesn't realize how good i am for her.

I blame myself, i think if i never made that stupid mistake everything would still be okay. I never messed up before but my friends say it's her age, this was always going to happen.

I have come home and it feels so empty without her. I keep expecting her to be in bed on the i pad or something. I know it sounds crazy. I miss her here, hearing her voice.

I know i did wrong... i'm not looking for any sympathy. Just some sense from it all

Thank you for reading

[namemyname]

Stop being such a doormat.

When she cheated on you, you should have left her, much as she did you.

Neither of you should be in a relationship, IMO.

[michelle23]

i agree. you should have dumped her when she cheated. it was over the moment that happened. im not sure why this girl would make up these lies. the picture should have been enough for your girl to dump you without adding legs to it so i dont know if i believe your as innocent as you say you are.

maybe you wanted revenge or thought you had a free pass..

anyway i think you should move on, learn from this experience. if a girl cheats on you, have some self-respect and walk away no matter how "hysterical" she is. shes not an innocent victim. she did the crime and therefore must not get away with it. and the only way for her to truly learn her lesson is to lose you. sticking around only to get revenge 6months later (whether consciously or subconsciously) is wrong.

btw i dont believe it was just a peck on the lips either. it must have been happening for longer than half a second for people to take pictures of it. why dont you just man up and tell the truth? sugarcoating it doesnt held and making it seem not ss bad as it was it pointless

[namemyname]

maybe you wanted revenge or thought you had a free pass..

Or...worse yet. Was playing a testing game. And...it backfired.

[ParadiseLost]

Man that was not your girl. Once you meet cool girl you will realise what a bitch that one was. Also you will wish you never apologised her. With good girl your confidence and spirit goes up. So good that you are apart now cause she was broken and you coulld repair her cause she broke you too. Once you met nice girl you will forgive yourself and realise that it was not your fault. You didnt had much girlfriends so its hard to compare right now. But go out and party hard cause you have freedom now and no need to wory what others think anymore !

[smackie9]

Dude she's too young to be tied down in a relationship...it was coming regardless of you kissing that girl or not...once they get a taste of the clubs and guys hitting on them, it's game over anyways.

[seadiamond]

Well, I am making this post to give back what someone just gave to me, a bit of peace.

You loved her unconditionally. That's an amazing feat. Pat yourself on the back and give that type of love to a woman who can give it back. You are amazing. The only mistakes both of you were making was not sharing how you guys truly felt about her stepping out on you and expecting yourself to still feel the same about her after she broke trust with you.

Unfortunately, broken trust is broken trust. No confession of hers will make up for breaking trust. She was so guilty, that when she saw you breaking trust (yes a kiss is cheating), she bailed.

Sounds like the two of you were on the wrong path for an intimate love relationship. It's not your fault. You both made mistakes -- but she was the one who made the first and deadly mistake.

Take care, and in the future, please try not to tolerate cheating -- it will just cause you to act out in passive ways -- as evidenced by the kiss of another girl. Give yourself a break and chalk all of this up to experience. You're young and you have your entire life ahead of you. Learn from this experience and you'll have a great future. Love yourself as much as you love another and you will make the right choices in future love relationships.

Best wishes!

[paythebills]

stop being a doormat!!!!

[lalalita]

She had sex with another man. Why would you want to be with her? Just because you are forgiving, (clearly) doesn't mean she is. She got away with what she did, and didn't think twice about just throwing you to the curb once YOU made a mistake. It was over when she slept with someone else. You showed her she can do whatever she wants and it's okay. I wouldn't put it past her sleeping around for awhile and trying to come back to you.