Bf's Ex Gf says she misses and loves him!

[Hth]

Hi guys, i have been feeling bad lately, due to my bf's situation!

It was his birthday, we are in LD so i can't celebrate for his birthday! I prepared a Gift and posted it to him, with a sweet card that was made from me.

But at that day, his ex wrote on his Wall on Facebook to say Happy Birthday, it was not like Happy Birthday, but something like Happy Birthday with " I miss you lots and Love you xo", so i got really mad and my best friend told me that i need to reply to that, to say Happy Birthday to my Bf right on her Status. So i did, and we started to say stuff to each other. I was really mad n said to my bf that his Ex does not respect herself or me, i forced him to choose Her or Me, and if he does not want to Remove her, i will Remove him and break up and i told him to never Look for me again! So after some fighting n swearing, he removed her off his Facebook.

He said i was over reacting and let those petty things get to me! I said he gotta Choose. She started to write so many things, like they had their time and now it's ours, he is a great guy so don't let him go, but with something like i love him and he will always have a place in my heart. I mean Really???? And all he did was blaming on me to say i picked a fight with his ex on his birthday! I have heard from him that he loved that girl but she cheated on him, and she asked him to return with her before. I know they still talk on Skype sometimes.

Can you please tell me if i was over reacting or there is a problem with my bf? I'm really hurt but i want to know if i was in the Wrong! Thank you for your opinion.

[stev123]

It's his ex, it's nice of you being reasonable but you're his girlfriend and that's what matters. It happens to every guy and you should never get involved with people's exes. And if he starts having emotional relations with her again then dump h
Because he's no good

[michelle23]

first of all this is long distance so its a pointless relationship. second of all his ex is still in his life and hes not willing to remove her which means hes still emotionally involved with her-possibly sexually.

its likely you are just a rebound. you should walk away and find someone local who doesnt have exes in his life.

[Hth]

For more information: His ex and him are in other countries now. I and him are in LD but same country, different cities.

Today, he told me that i made him to remove his ex, and he told me that i should only concerned if she did it the 3rd time. I was really mad and we got into another fight again. He claimed that he needs to think, i said Fine, it makes me think that he Regretted to Remove her Off his Facebook, even though i know she is still on his skype and they can still talk, maybe she will try to say she was all Innocent but i was the one to Pick up Fights? Which is driving me more Mad.

[Wakeup]

You have a weak boyfriend who is so sad that he would continue to talk to a girl that cheated on him. He's still emotionally attached to her and that's not very good for you or your own emotional health. Frankly I think you did good on telling him it's either her or me. You can see how much he is fighting for her still, even though he removed her from his FB. I think you should seriously consider remaining with someone who still skypes with a girl that cheated on him.

Just how long after he broke up with her did he start dating you? He's definately not over her yet, at the very least he loves the attention she's still giving him which is totally disrespectful to you. Are you a rebound?

[AbigailR]

I think you did overreact a little bit. The things that the ex was saying would make me uncomfortable, but that's something you should've talked to him about. You shouldn't have argued like that for everyone on Facebook to see. I would be embarrassed too. He can't control what people write on his Facebook, and lots of people still have feelings for their ex's. It was disrespectful of her to do that knowing he had a girlfriend, but I can understand why he was upset about the fighting. Neither one of you can control people's feelings or actions, and things like that should be handled between the two of you in private.

[Wakeup]

I think you did overreact a little bit. The things that the ex was saying would make me uncomfortable, but that's something you should've talked to him about.

I agree with that ^^^ abigail.

However the very fact that he is still in contact with her and hasn't blocked and deleted her is a red flag IMO. He's not quite over her yet if he's allowwing her full access to his social networking site, email etc. She cheated on him. Why, if he didn't still have feelings for her would he or anyone for that matter keep someone who cheated on them in their life in any capacity when there are no children involved? I'm curious about that question. Maybe Op should ask her bf just that.

[dickriculous]

Can you please tell me if i was over reacting or there is a problem with my bf?

It's not an either/or situation, it's both.

If your bf knew what was good for him he would've gone no contact with her after she cheated. It seems there's a side of him that wants her back which isn't good for him and more obviously isn't good for you or the relationship.

That said, your hysterical knee-jerk reaction would be a huge turn-off to me if I were him, and there's no way I'd tolerate being gone off on like that. You're lucky he's such a pussy, because with a different guy there may have been worse consequences if you behave like that.

Anyway, if you want my advice, dump him because all signs point to him still being hung up on his ex. And next time try to be a bit more level headed in how you resolve these issues, I'm inclined to believe that him fighting back with you may not have had anything to do with his ex and may have had everything to do with the fact that you felt the need to bully him and try to dominate him with anger.

[Hth]

Thanks guys! I think they broke up 3 years ago but still keep in touch N when i first met him he said there are 2 girls that he loves the most, included her! I'm very tired about this already, i'm going to tell him to add her again if he wants, and i'm out!
It hurts me too much to think he is still longing to the ex, and stay on her side not mine?

I'm going to ask him tonight about this, and if it's true, i'm out!

[AbigailR]

Oh I thought he blocked her. Well that changes things lol. Yes, red flag.

[michelle23]

the bloke obviously has issues. hes still emotionally attached to a girl he dumped 3 years ago coz she cheated. what a twat.. i dont care what anyone says-healthy people do not keep exes in their life especially not ones who stabbed them in the back. dump the tool and find someone else

[Wakeup]

That said, your hysterical knee-jerk reaction would be a huge turn-off to me if I were him, and there's no way I'd tolerate being gone off on like that. You're lucky he's such a pussy, because with a different guy there may have been worse consequences if you behave like that.

Most women worth having wouldn't care if you left if you're still talking to an ex who cheated on you. He's just as lucky as she is that she's not confident enough (YET) to just not bother having anything to do with him. She has the worth, she just doesn't yet know how you use it to her own advantage.

Anyway, if you want my advice, dump him because all signs point to him still being hung up on his ex. And next time try to be a bit more level headed in how you resolve these issues, I'm inclined to believe that him fighting back with you may not have had anything to do with his ex and may have had everything to do with the fact that you felt the need to bully him and try to dominate him with anger.

Agree.. Yes, level heads should have prevailed.

[dickriculous]

Most women worth having wouldn't care if you left if you're still talking to an ex who cheated on you.

Yes they would, otherwise they would leave right then and there. If they don't initiate a breakup themselves then they still want me around and want to work things out somehow.

[Wakeup]

Yes they would, otherwise they would leave right then and there. If they don't initiate a breakup themselves then they still want me around and want to work things out somehow.

I agree to disagree, dick. No one wants to leave someone right away upon the first "boundary cross" so anyone worth being with, would certainly try to resolve what was bugging them. If after that attempt it kept up, then they wouldn't stay with you.

[dickriculous]

I agree, but I don't see how that supports the notion that they wouldn't care if you walked out on them. You can't not care and still try to resolve an issue, it's impossible.